Code Names for Puberty
by Lady Azura
Summary: Puberty is never easy, and for Edwin Venturi and Lizzie McDonald, things are about to get a lot more interesting… and complicated. Lizwin. Implied Dasey.
1. And So It Begins

Summary: _Puberty is never easy, and for Edwin Venturi and Lizzie McDonald… things are about to get a lot more interesting… and complicated. (Lizwin. Implied Dasey.)_

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. 'Nuff said.

Rating: T

Author's Note: I was inspired to write this after watching **When0Derek0Met0Casey's** "Code Names for Puberty" trailer on YouTube.

To my regular readers and reviewers - don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my other fics. I'll be updating them very soon!

Also, Edwin is 13 and Lizzie is 12. The LWD ages really are screwed up… I mean, apparently he was 10 in the first season, but now - as of "_**It's Our Party**_", he's magically 13. Could the ages get ANY more confusing? Anyways, in this fic… he'll be 13, and Lizzie will be 12 (and a half), and they'll be in a split class in order to be in the same class.

Comprende?

Enjoy!

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**And So It Begins**_

X

--

_(Dream Sequence)_

--

**"Edwin…"**

**A soft, tranquil voice - like that of an angel's - echoed in the darkness, causing a young boy of thirteen to stir.**

**"Edwin… wake up…" The voice urged.**

_**'Ugh, where am I?'**_

**That was the first thought that crossed Edwin's mind as he slowly regained consciousness and opened his eyes, finally awakening from his slumber.**

**Only to be greeted by a shocking and rather unexpected sight.**

**There, standing in front of him, was none other than his step-sister Lizzie, clad in nothing but a simple white towel that left very little to the imagination.**

**"L-Lizzie!" He cried, trying desperately to avert his gaze. "What are you -? How are you-? **_**Wha-**_**?"**

**Lizzie giggled as she stared down a him, a small blush gracing her delicate features.**

**"What do you mean, Edwin?" She asked, feigning innocence. "Don't you like what you see?"**

**Edwin nearly choked on air, spluttering profusely as he tried to think of something - **_**anything**_** - to say. He couldn't, however; his mind was completely incoherent. Instead, he allowed his eyes to wander, traveling up and down her lithe figure and lingering on places he only **_**dreamed**_** of touching. He could feel his mouth going dry and unconsciously swallowed and licked his lips.**

**"I thought you might," Lizzie's voice brought his attention back to her face - her eyes, more specifically, and he found himself drowning in those turquoise pools.**

**Then, without warning, she let her towel drop.**

--

_(End Dream Sequence)_

--

X

"GAH!"

Edwin Venturi awoke with a start, gasping for breath as he shot up in bed and clutched the front of his shirt, which was completely drenched in cold sweat.

It took a while, but once his breathing was steady and his heart rate was back to normal, he found the strength to slip out of bed and make his way over to the door, all the while trying to ignore the ache in his groin as he slowly made his way down the attic steps and towards the bathroom. It wasn't long before he found himself standing in front of the bathroom door, and just as he was about to reach for the knob, said door swung open and out stepped Derek Venturi in all his glory.

"Good, you're awake," his brother acknowledged, "We're leaving for my hockey game soon, so be ready in fifteen. Got it?" He ruffled the younger Venturi's hair before shuffling passed him, and was _about_ to head back to his own room when he suddenly stopped and turned back around, an amused grin etched across his face.

Edwin raised an eyebrow.

"What?" He asked.

Derek merely smirked.

"Word of advice," he said, "You _might_ want to take care of 'Little Edwin' before you do anything else." With that, he laughed and disappeared down the hall.

Edwin blinked in confusion as he stared at the spot where his elder brother had once stood.

"Little Edwin?" He repeated, before his eyes widened and he looked down. "Shit! Not again!"

He quickly bolted into the bathroom and slammed the door before anyone else saw.

X

"But _Casey_!" Lizzie McDonald protested, shooting her older sister a pleading look through her vanity mirror as said sister concentrated on curling her hair, "Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to _wear_ this? We're going to a hockey game - _Derek's_ hockey game, not some fancy restaurant or out on a date or…" She trailed off when she realized that she was being ignored and frowned.

Casey sighed as she took a strand of Lizzie's hair and gently wrapped it around the curling iron.

"You can never look too good," she said, "Besides, what if there's a really cute boy your age there? Wouldn't you want to impress him by looking pretty?"

Lizzie stared at her sister in horror. Did she even _realize_ what she was saying? The words that were spewing out of her mouth? What happened to the Pro-Women, Anti-Sexism, Feminist sister she'd grown to admire and look up to over the years, and who was this… this _imposter_ who'd replaced her?

Of course, she knew who to blame for Casey's sudden change.

Max Miller. That's who.

Ever since Casey had started dating Max, it was like she'd transformed into a completely different person. If she wasn't reapplying her make up or adjusting her hair or spending hours upon hours in the bathroom doing who knew _what_, she was out shopping with Emily for clothes she'd only wear once. Even her grades were starting to slip. The previous A+ student was now an A- student… which wasn't too shabby for the _average_ teen, but for (former) self-proclaimed perfectionist, Casey McDonald, it was a big deal. A _huge_ deal.

And her _wardrobe_! The very thought of it made Lizzie want to cringe. The once conservative girl was now dressing like some sort of… well, _slut_, for lack of a better word. Always wearing tight clothes, short skirts and shirts that showed off _way_ too much cleavage… basically, things she would've never been caught dead in had she never started dating Max.

"I thought looks didn't matter," the youngest McDonald said, finally answering her sister's question, "I mean, shouldn't I want someone to like me for me and not because of what I look like?"

Casey pursed her lips, releasing the now curled strand.

"Well, yeah," she agreed, "But you want to look nice too, don't you? Trust me, Liz. You'll understand when you're older. I'm doing this for your own good. Besides, it's the least you could do after letting that nice outfit I got you for your birthday collect cobwebs and dust in the back of your closet…"

Lizzie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms at her sister's lame attempt at guilt-tripping her.

Casey set down the curling iron and tilted her head to the side, examining Lizzie.

"Something's missing…"

"Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me! I look like a porcelain doll already! What more could I possibly need?" Lizzie cried.

"Ooh!" Casey squealed, like she had never heard her, "I know! Hair accessories! One second."

With that, she excused herself and exited Lizzie's room. The tween glared at her elder sister's retreating form through the mirror's reflection before her gaze settled on her own face. She scrunched up her nose and quickly wiped off the lipstick Casey had forced on her before looking down at what she was wearing.

At the moment, she was currently sporting a light blue tank top with lace trim and one of Casey's old jean skirts. She realized that she probably wouldn't have minded the top too much if it wasn't currently showing off her developing cleavage to the entire world… which is why she'd thrown on a dark blue zip-up sweater over top of it.

"Yo, Lizard," Derek was suddenly at her doorway, interrupting her thoughts, "We're leaving soon. Nora's already started the car - now's your chance to escape."

Lizzie nodded.

"Right. Thanks Derek." She replied.

Her elder step-brother smirked.

"No problem."

And like that, he was gone.

Lizzie's vanity stool scraped loudly across her wooden floor as she stood abruptly and made a mad dash out the door and down the hall, but just as she was about to turn the corner, her body collided with Edwin's. A small shriek left her lips as they both toppled to the ground, with him landing on top of her in a rather… awkward position, to say the least.

For about a minute or so, the two lay perfectly still, staring in wide-eyed shock at one another.

Edwin was the first to snap back to reality and quickly scrambled to get off her. Lizzie couldn't help but inhale sharply when she felt her skirt (Casey's skirt) ride up slightly due to his sudden movement and tugged at the hem as she, too, sat up. Neither of them were willing to look at each other as they slowly rose to their feet and muttered apologies, before going their separate ways - Edwin to his room, and Lizzie downstairs.

X

**And that's the end of chapter 1. It was originally going to be longer, but I've decided to just add the rest to the second chapter instead.**

**My apologies if Casey is slightly out of character, but she'll be back to normal by the end of the fic.**

**Also… about Edwin's dream… yeah. It was originally going to be more explicit, but I decided to just end it where I did.**

**This is going to be fun to write, so I can't wait to write more. I already have the ending planned out, which I'm very happy about.**

**Anyways, tell me what you guys think! REVIEW.**

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Please! I love reading what you guys have to say! It really helps! And… if you do… I'll update faster. How's that for ya?

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	2. Guy Stuff

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. Or _Boy Meets World_, for that matter. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Wow. I am just… ASTONISHED by the response this fic got! It makes me SO happy and I just want to thank you guys for all the reviews! You guys are great!

This chapter's for you! 

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**"Guy Stuff"**_

X

It wasn't long before the Venturi-McDonalds finally left for Derek's hockey game and before they knew it, they were at the rink, sitting in their respective seats and watching said game take place.

"GO SMEREK, GO!"

"Yeah Derek! You can do it!"

Edwin groaned, slumping further into his seat. He didn't know which was worse; being crammed in the back seat of the Prince and having Lizzie's bare leg brush up against his the entire ride there, or being forced to watch her skirt ride up every time she leapt up to cheer his brother on. Both were very distracting and resulted in lower bodily reactions that he had next to no control over. In fact, it had gotten to the point where he had to use his own sweater - despite how cold it was in the arena - to hide the obvious bulge in his jeans.

And her _smell_. He didn't know _when_ exactly Lizzie started wearing perfume or body spray or whatever it was, but it was absolutely intoxicating. Not in a bad way, either; it was actually quite pleasant. It wasn't like the nauseating Cotton Candy spray that the rest of the girls in their class wore… it was more natural. Kind of flowery, even. It was nice and soothing, but it fogged his senses all the same and he knew, deep down, that _every_ time he caught a whiff of that particular fragrance from that point on, he'd only think of her.

God, what the hell was _wrong_ with him?

"I'm thirsty," Lizzie's voice brought Edwin back to reality, and he looked at her just as she turned to face him. "I think I'm gonna go get something to drink. Want to come with?"

"Uh… I… umm… I…" He stammered, unable to think of anything to say.

That, coupled with the fact that he was 99.9 percent sure that she'd not only notice, but also be freaked out by the not-so-discreet tent in his jeans _if_ he decided go with her at that moment…

"Well? Come _on_, Edwin. We don't have all day."

It was a no-brainer.

"No," he said. "I mean… no thanks. I mean… I'm not really thirsty right now."

"Oh." Lizzie looked slightly disappointed. "Okay then… I'll be back in a bit."

With that, she stood up and left. Edwin watched her until she disappeared from view before returning his attention to the game, just in time to hear the buzzer go off and see Derek score the winning goal.

X

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful in Edwin's opinion. After they'd gotten back from Derek's game, Nora had taken Lizzie to Tae Kwon Do while his dad had opted to stay cooped up in his room after straining his back from carrying all of Derek's hockey equipment at once, and neither the King of Lies nor the Drama Queen were around long enough to keep him entertained with their usual banter. Derek had spent most of the day jamming with Sam and Ralph in Ralph's garage while Casey had gone on a shopping spree with Emily.

Usually, Edwin wouldn't be complaining. He enjoyed it when the house was relatively quiet and he could watch TV in peace without having anyone else (namely Derek) hog the remote. The only problem was… it got boring after a while. In fact, the only highlights of his day were stumbling across one of Nora's overly predictable soap operas and watching Marti get married to Dimi.

Again.

Both of which, he was disheartened to admit, got boring over time.

Finally, though, dinner arrived, which immediately brightened Edwin's mood as he made his way into the dining room. Something was bound to happen - it always did, and he couldn't help but smile as he plopped down in his seat between Derek and Marti and inhaled the delicious, mouthwatering aroma of the plate of spaghetti in front of him.

Mmm… spaghetti.

His favorite.

For the first ten or so minutes of dinner, everything went by smoothly. Stories of everyone's days were exchanged and even a few laughs were shared. Everything was fine… until Derek decided to go ahead and open his mouth.

"So Edwin," he started, turning to face the younger Venturi boy, "about earlier…"

A feeling of dread made itself known in the pit of Edwin's stomach as he looked at Derek through the corner of his eye.

"What about it?" He asked, trying to sound casual.

His elder brother's eyes shone with amusement.

"Who's the lucky girl?"

A series of surprised "what's" echoed around the table, and much to his dismay, Edwin soon found himself the center of attention.

"I… I don't know what you're talking about, Derek." He stammered.

"Sure you do!" Derek chuckled, slapping him on the back. "So? Who is she? Must've been a real babe if -"

Edwin quickly cut him off.

"Uh… can… can we not talk about this?" He suggested. "Let's talk about something else. Please Derek, I'm begging you."

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" asked Derek. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. We all go through it… it's perfectly -"

"Derek, what _are_ you talking about?" Casey interrupted.

"Yes Derek," Nora, who'd been watching the bizarre exchange between her two step-sons with curiosity, agreed, "What's going on?"

"Well…" Derek began, unable to hide his Cheshire grin as he watched the color drain from his younger brother's face. "It seems that young Edwin here… isn't so young anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Casey.

Derek smirked at her.

"It means…" he said slowly, "that -"

"C-can I be excused?" Before George or Nora could even reply, Edwin quickly jumped up from his seat and made a mad dash out the dining room and up the stairs.

It wasn't long before they heard his bedroom door slam shut.

There was a brief moment of silence - then everyone who remained at the dinner table turned to look at Derek.

"What was _that_ about?" asked Marti.

"Yeah Derek, what's going on?" George demanded.

Derek merely shrugged and leaned back in his seat, placing his hands behind his head and grinning smugly.

"Oh, you know," he said, "Guy stuff."

No further questions were asked, and everyone eventually returned to their meals.

Well, almost everyone.

Lizzie stared blankly at her dinner, too concerned about her step-brother and partner in crime to worry about her stomach. Taking one last bite of spaghetti, she made up a quick excuse about not being hungry and slipped quietly out of the dining room.

X

**And that's the end of chapter 2, but don't worry… I'm writing chapter 3 as I speak.**

** So, this chapter was mostly Edwin centric, as will the next one be, but after that… it'll focus on both him and Lizzie, so… yeah.**

** Derek's so mean. To Edwin, anyways.**

** Hope you enjoyed!**

** REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! I beg of you… click that awesome purple button and REVIEW! It'll make me update faster, you know.**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	3. Fights, Flashbacks and Notes

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: You know, the response to this fic is making me all kinds of happy. I'm serious! You guys are seriously awesome!

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Fights, Flashbacks and Notes**_

X

About five or ten minutes had gone by since the incident at dinner and Edwin soon found himself sitting on his bed with his back propped up against the headboard, glaring intently at the Babe Raider poster on the wall across from him, all the while trying to think of ways to get back at Derek for what he'd almost revealed in front of _everyone_ at the dinner table - including Lizzie. In fact, Edwin was _so_ engrossed in plotting against his older brother that he didn't even hear his door creak open.

"Edwin?" A familiar voice questioned, causing said boy to nearly jump out of his skin.

He quickly tore his gaze away from the poster and glanced over. His hardened expression softened somewhat when he found Lizzie standing there.

"Oh… hey." Was all he said.

"Hey…" Lizzie replied, her voice quivering a bit with uncertainty. "How are you feeling? You seemed kind of… I don't know… upset? When you left, I mean. I was… I mean, mom and George were… they were worried…"

Edwin shrugged.

"I've been better." He said. "It's just… Derek… he's…" He trailed off, unable to find the right words.

"An ass? An insensitive jerk? Too much to handle?" Lizzie offered. "I know."

Edwin nodded slowly.

"Yeah," he said. "Pretty much."

Lizzie smiled weakly at him in understanding before asking, "So, what are you up to?"

"Plotting to destroy Derek." Edwin replied simply. "Why?"

"I see. Any luck?"

"None."

"Too bad."

Edwin furrowed his brow.

"What are you doing here, anyways?" He asked.

"What? A girl can't see how her step-brother's doing without having some kind of ulterior motive?" Lizzie challenged, completely oblivious to the way Edwin cringed at the word 'step-brother'.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes and sighed in defeat.

"Okay fine, you caught me." She said. "Actually, I wanted to know if you wanted to play some soccer out front - one on one. It's still pretty light out and we haven't hung out in a while - just us two, I mean, so I just thought -"

"No thanks."

Lizzie's face fell.

"Oh…" The disappointment was evident in her voice. "Well, why not?"

"Why do I need a reason?" Edwin snapped. "I just don't feel like it, _okay_?"

Lizzie's expression immediately changed from hopeful to angry.

"Jeez, Edwin! I was just asking! You don't have to be such a jerk about it!" She spat.

"Well, _maybe_ I wouldn't _be_ such a "jerk" if _you_ knew when to butt out of other people's lives!" Edwin's eyes widened as soon as the words left his lips. Clamping a hand over his mouth, he watched in horror as tears welled up in Lizzie's eyes, knowing full well that it was all _his_ fault. "Lizzie, I -" He started, but his door slammed shut, interrupting his apology.

Edwin groaned and fell back against the headboard once again.

"Great," he muttered, "_Just_ great! All she wanted to do was hang out and what do you do? You make her cry! What kind of asshole _does_ that? Me. That's who. Edwin Daniel Venturi: Resident Jerk."

He sighed and sunk further down the headboard and into his pillows.

Everything was so messed up lately. So completely and utterly messed up. So… _wrong_! After all, since when was he such a jerk? He was no angel, by any means, but he had never fought with Lizzie. _Ever_. They just… didn't fight. That was Derek and Casey's job - not his and Lizzie's. _They_ got along; _they_ settled their differences over bets, negotiations and games of chance; _they_ didn't fight! They just… didn't. It was as simple as that.

Until now.

Something was happening. Something was changing. Something was… different.

But what? And _why_?

Edwin racked his brain for some kind of logical explanation. Something that would tell him why he was so moody lately… why he and Lizzie could no longer look each other in the eye without getting all flustered… why he kept having those damn dreams! Those disgusting, immoral dreams about his sweet and innocent step-sister doing and saying completely un-Lizzie-like things.

Really, what kind of sicko _dreamt_ about things like that?

Him, unsurprisingly, because apparently he was doomed to be weird in every way possible. Not smooth and cool like Derek. Nope; just… creepy and weird. That was Edwin Venturi in a nutshell, and he was positive that all the girls at school would vouch for him on that. Well… every girl except for a select few - including Lizzie - but as usual, he'd gone and messed all of those up.

Edwin sighed.

Lizzie…

His stomach fluttered.

It'd been doing that a lot lately… especially whenever he was around Lizzie or even so much as thought about her. It was a weird feeling.

He tried to think of _when_ these feelings started to manifest themselves in him, but couldn't quite pinpoint an exact moment. At first, he thought it all started at their joint birthday party, but as he kept thinking about it, he realized that it went back even further than that - perhaps even further than their "rebellion". In fact, when he _really_ thought about it… he supposed they even went as far back as before the wedding… when they'd first met.

X

--

_**Flashback to 2 years ago…**_

--

"Daddy! Me and Daphne are hungry! When can we eat?"

"In a minute, sweetie."

"That's what you said _five_ minutes ago. Seriously Dad, what's the point of coming to an all-you-can-eat buffet if _no one_ is eating?"

"We _will_ eat, Derek - just as soon as Nora gets here."

Edwin felt a sharp jab in his foot and glanced up from the dessert menu to look at his brother, who glared at him expectantly - as if he wanted his own input. He looked over at his dad, who was trying to calm a hungry and grouchy Marti down, and sighed.

"I think I'm gonna go use the washroom." He announced, standing up.

He wasn't at all surprised when no one acknowledged him and quietly snuck away from the table and headed towards his destination. He emerged less than five minutes later, wiping his hands on his pants (they were out of paper towels!) and was _about_ to make his way back to his family when he caught a glimpse of something while passing the buffet table.

A glimpse of _her_.

The cutest girl he'd ever laid eyes on. She looked about his age and had short brown hair that just barely reached her shoulders - pinned back with butterfly clips that matched her light blue dress. As he neared her, he noticed that she was looking on at the food in disgust, cringing every so often before moving on to the next choice and doing the same. It wasn't long before he was in line behind her, grabbing multiple helpings of steak, chicken, pork and just about every other meat product that was available - despite the fact that he was supposed to wait for "Nora".

He was hungry, damn it!

And he wanted to talk to this really cute girl… but he couldn't find the right words, so he continued to pile food onto his plate in silence.

"You're not really going to eat that, are you?"

Speak of the Devil.

Edwin looked up and saw the girl looking at him with a mixture of horror and disgust.

Nothing unusual about that… but _she_ didn't know that, did she?

So he lied.

"This?" He motioned to the plate and she nodded so he went on. "This isn't for me… it's for my older brother."

The girl looked at him skeptically.

"Your brother can't just get it for himself?" She asked.

"Uh… no."

_That_ was actually true. It would never even so much as cross Derek's mind to do something for himself. He had everyone else do it _for_ him.

"Uh… huh…"

She _so_ didn't buy it, so he quickly changed the subject.

"Uh, so, umm… what's your name?" He dared to ask.

"Lizzie." The girl - Lizzie - replied. "What's yours?"

"Edwin. Edwin Venturi."

--

_**End flashback…**_

--

X

That was one of the only times Edwin had ever seen Lizzie in a dress, and after finding out that she would eventually be his _step-sister_… any feelings he'd previously had for her seemed to have vanished off the face of the earth.

Or so he thought.

They had come back tenfold. All at once. In a matter of seconds… and all it took was him walking in on her just after a shower - clad in nothing but a simple white towel.

And now… that's all he could picture in his mind and in his dreams. Every time he closed his eyes… all he saw was Lizzie.

Lizzie. Lizzie. Lizzie.

24/7.

He was pretty sure he was going to wind up driving himself crazy if these feelings didn't cease at once. Either that, or someone would eventually find out and he'd be deemed some sort of sick nutcase and be sent far away to some loony bin.

Either way…

_**Creak.**_

Edwin looked up and glanced over, just in time to see something slide under his door. Curious, he slipped out of bed and walked over, kneeling over to pick up the object - a large brown envelope addressed to him. He furrowed his brow as he brought it back to his bed tore it open, before pulling out a sheet of construction paper and turning it over.

_**Edwin -**_

We need to talk. Meet me in the Games Closet at midnight.

_**- Lizzie**_

Short and to the point. How utterly Lizzie, he thought.

He glanced over at his clock.

In just a few short hours… he'd have to meet up with her. He couldn't just avoid her - she'd just seek him out anyways. He _had_ to meet her. He _had_ to talk to her.

He _had_ to.

X

**I think I'm going to cry. Seriously, I hate this chapter. I hate how I wrote it. It sounded SO much better in my head…**

**I'll try to make the next one better, though.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	4. Proposition

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. Or the game "Scrabble" for that matter. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: You guys are so awesome. Thanks so much for the reviews!

It seems like my updates are becoming few and far between… I blame school. Too much homework.

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Proposition**_

X

Either time flew by at an exceptionally fast pace or Lady Luck _really_ had it in for him, because before Edwin knew it, it was already 11:55.

A part of him really wanted to believe it was the former, but given the fact that luck never really had been on his side, he eventually concluded that this was probably just her way of punishing him for upsetting Lizzie. Oh, and for thinking evil and unholy thoughts about how to exact revenge on the supreme ruler of the universe… AKA, Derek.

Edwin sighed and glanced down at his watch. He'd been sitting in the Games Closet for about fifteen minutes now, mostly because he didn't want to risk losing track of time and making Lizzie even more upset than she already was. Fortunately, he didn't have to wait _too_ much longer.

About a minute or so later, the door opened and Edwin was momentarily blinded by a stream of light that filtered in from the hallway. Squinting, he looked up just in time to see Lizzie step into view. His eyebrows nearly threatened to disappear into his hairline as he watched with fascination as the hallway light surrounded and outlined her figure, making her look almost angelic in a way. He was almost disappointed when he didn't hear choir music or church bells go off.

As Lizzie quickly scouted the hallway and made sure that the coast was clear before stepping inside and closing the door, it became obvious that she didn't notice him sitting there. It wasn't until she switched on the light that she finally spotted him and jumped back, startled.

"Edwin!" She cried. "What the heck are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?"

Edwin just smiled cheekily at her as he slowly rose to his feet and dusted off his pajama bottoms.

"Of course not." He said, before cocking his head to the side and looking at her curiously.

Lizzie eyed him warily.

"What?" She asked.

"I should be asking you the same thing," replied Edwin. "I mean, _you're_ the one who called this emergency meeting…" He paused briefly to watch her fiddle with the hem of her oversized t-shirt before glancing back up at her face. "So? What's the emergency? What did you want to talk to me about?"

Lizzie promptly scoffed at this.

"You know very well what I want to talk about!"

Of course he knew. Well, not really, but he had a pretty good idea of what she wanted to talk about, which was almost like actually knowing… in a way. At the very least, it was one step closer in that direction.

As Edwin stood there watching Lizzie watch him with narrowed eyes, waiting for his reply, the thought of making her angry and getting her all riled up suddenly became very appealing for some reason. He didn't know _where_ this thought came from or _why_ he was thinking it in the first place - perhaps it was the tone of her voice or the way she stood with her arms folded, or maybe it was all due to the annoying migraine throbbing in his temple - but regardless of what the reason was, or where and why it had spawned in the first place, he couldn't stop himself from opening his mouth.

"Actually… no, I don't, Liz. So please, feel free to enlighten me."

It was most likely the condescending way he said it that set Lizzie off. Edwin swore he saw her eyes flash crimson - like she wanted to kill someone - for about a split second before she turned away, and for a brief moment, he was worried that he'd gone and made her cry again. Then, Lizzie looked up, but not at him. Instead, she focused her attention on the _Scrabble_ box beside his head as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I'm not blind, you know." She said. "I know you've been avoiding me and don't you dare say you haven't, because you have!"

"Liz -" Edwin started, but she cut him off.

"I'm not finished!" She snapped, causing him to almost jump out of his skin, before she regained her composure and continued. "I just… I want to know… was it something I did? Or said? Is it because of… what happened that day? Please, Edwin! Tell me what I did so I can apologize and everything can go back to normal!" She clenched her fists as her body shook, still refusing to look at him. "I hate not talking to you… I hate fighting with you… I… I don't know what to do… I -"

Edwin didn't know what happened next, but before he knew what he was doing, he had his arms around her and was pulling her into a tight hug.

"Lizzie… this isn't your fault, it's mine." He said, "And I am _so_ sorry if I ever made you think that it was your fault. Everything's so messed up… I don't even know what's wrong with me lately… ever since that day, I've been having these dreams and -"

"Dreams?" Lizzie repeated, pulling away and looking up at him, "What dreams?"

Edwin stiffened.

"D-did I say that out loud?" He stammered, letting out a nervous laugh. "What I meant to say was -"

"I'm not blind, nor am I deaf. I clearly heard you say dreams, Edwin." Lizzie said. "What kind of dreams? What are they about?"

Edwin's head spun and he didn't know what was worse - the fact that Lizzie's questions were like opening a gate to his subconscious, triggering memories of his more recent dreams and sending a bombardment of not-so-innocent images to his corrupted mind, or the fact that _while_ this was happening, he still had her in a tight embrace. With this sudden realization, Edwin released her and jumped back like he'd just been informed that she was carrying a bomb that was ready to detonate.

"You still haven't answered my question." Lizzie reminded him.

"That's because you _really_ don't want to know." Edwin replied. "Trust me. If I told you, you'd think I'm some kind of creepy weirdo."

"But I already think that you're a creepy weirdo." Lizzie teased.

Edwin glared at her.

"Come _on_, Edwin! Just tell me already!" She pleaded, clasping her hands together.

"No."

"Please?"

"I said no!"

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Because they're about you!" Edwin shouted. He clamped a hand over his mouth, eyes widening as soon as he realized what he'd said.

Lizzie looked just as shocked as he did. Her mouth opened and shut several times in an attempt to say something, but each time no words would come out. She eventually stopped trying and closed her mouth, allowing a deafening silence to dawn on the two would-be teenagers.

Finally, after about five minutes, she gathered the courage to speak once more.

"You've… been dreaming about me?" She asked softly.

Edwin nodded slowly, refusing to meet her gaze. He was far too ashamed to look her in the eye.

Lizzie felt her cheeks heat up. So many questions raced through her adolescent mind. He'd been dreaming about her? What kind of dreams? Were they anything like the ones _she'd_ been having about him? Then, a thought struck her, making her face flush.

She knew about some of the kinds of dreams boys had when they reached about Edwin's age. Their teacher had talked about that during their Health and Fitness class not too long ago - she'd mentioned things like "wet dreams" and "erections" and other such terms that still made Lizzie blush furiously.

Did Edwin have them? Did he have them while dreaming about _her_? Was that why he was acting so weird around her and avoiding her?

It would make sense. After all, who'd want to have _those_ kinds of dreams about their step-sibling?

"How long?" She wondered out loud.

Edwin looked up.

"What?" He asked.

Lizzie bit her lip.

"I said… how long?" She repeated, "How long have you been having them?"

Edwin sighed.

"Since… that day…"

X

_** Flashback to 1 month ago…**_

"Edwin, could you go get Liz? She should be done getting ready now."

Edwin glanced up from his cereal and looked over at his step-mother, who was double-checking the grocery list.

"Sure, Nora." He replied, standing up and making his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

As he trudged down the hall towards Lizzie's room, he couldn't help but roll his eyes as he passed Derek's half-opened door and overheard Casey yelling at his brother for something he'd done or said the night before. Derek's retort was lost in the background as Edwin continued his journey down the hall and it wasn't long before he found himself standing outside Lizzie's door.

He knocked twice and heard what sounded like something being knocked over, before a muffled "… come in!", reached his ears. Edwin wasted no time in opening the door and waltzing right on in.

"Hey Liz, Nora wanted me to come and… get… you…" He trailed off as soon as he spotted her. "Oh… My... God."

Unfortunately, he wasn't expecting to find Lizzie standing there in nothing but a towel, with wet hair draped over her shoulders while tiny beads of water trickled down her neck and arms. She was looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights and much to his own dismay, Edwin couldn't look away. It was like his eyes were glued to her - or, more specifically, her curves.

Since when did Lizzie have curves and how hadn't he noticed them until that second? He wondered, as his eyes lingered on her developing cleavage.

She was nowhere near Casey's curves, of course, but _still_!

Curves!

On _Lizzie_!

Wasn't that what one would call an oxymoron? Or, in the words of his brother, an "oxymaroon"?

Lizzie wasn't supposed to have curves. She was Lizzie! She was… she was… she was…

Great. Now his mind was repeating itself like a broken record. Luckily, Lizzie's shriek snapped him out of his reverie.

"Edwin! What the hell? I said _don't_ come in!"

Edwin forced himself to look back up at her face.

"But I heard - you said - I - oh God, I am _so_ sorry!" He stammered, shielding his eyes with his hands.

But the damage was already done.

"GET OUT!"

Edwin didn't think twice before complying.

_**End flashback…**_

X

"So… ever since then, you've been having dreams about me?" Lizzie asked slowly, once Edwin was finished recalling the memory.

"Yes… no." He shook his head, causing Lizzie to furrow her brow in confusion.

"Well? Which one is it? Yes or no?" She asked.

"Both." He replied. When Lizzie narrowed her eyes, he quickly elaborated. "Well… since that day… and maybe a little before that… around my birthday, I think, but I've been having them more frequently since… the incident."

"How frequently?" She asked, thoroughly enjoying watching the color drain from Edwin's face as he tore his eyes away from hers and looked down at the floor.

"Every night." He said.

"I see." Was Lizzie's only reply, before she sighed and leaned back against the door, tilting her head up to stare at the ceiling. They stood in silence for about a minute or so before she sighed again and glanced at him through lidded eyes, a noticeable blush gracing her cheeks as she softly admitted her own dark secret. "Well… if it's any consolation… I've had dreams about you too."

Edwin swallowed nervously.

"You have?"

Lizzie nodded.

"Yeah," she said, "and I've been thinking… maybe this is all a result of "puberty". Isn't this what Ms. Parker was talking about? And our parents? They mentioned that we were going to go through a bunch of changes… including our bodies and voices and… that we'd be having certain kinds of dreams and… we'd start to feel things that we didn't feel before…" she trailed off before she embarrassed herself.

Edwin groaned.

"Well, if this _is_ all because of puberty, what do you suppose we do? What are _we_ going to do, Liz? Do we just stop hanging out altogether until this whole thing blows over or… what?" He asked.

"Of course not." Lizzie assured him. "But I was thinking… maybe this doesn't have to be so bad…"

Edwin crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow.

"Oh?" He said. "And what do you have in mind?"

Lizzie didn't say anything at first. Instead, she fidgeted profusely and chewed nervously at her bottom lip, all the while staring intently at her slippers as if they were the most interesting and fascinating things on the face of the earth. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she looked up.

"Well… I was thinking… maybe we could use this to our advantage." She said.

Edwin nearly choked on air.

"W-what do you mean?" He stammered.

"Don't play dumb. You know what I mean," said Lizzie. "All I'm saying is… this puberty thing is going to be difficult and I don't want to have to avoid you like the plague for the next two or three or however many more years until it ends, so… why not use it to our advantage?"

Edwin could hardly think. Was the girl standing in front of him suggesting what he thought she was suggesting, _really_ Lizzie? She sounded more like the Lizzie from his dreams as opposed to the one he'd come to know since the McDonalds first moved in, which made him wonder if he was even awake at all. Was he dreaming? Had he accidentally fallen asleep? Had the real Lizzie been abducted by aliens and replaced with an imposter that looked and sounded just like her, but was completely different in terms of personality and morals?

His mind was currently racing with so many questions that it was starting to make him feel dizzy, but he forced himself to ask,

"By… using it to our advantage… do you mean…?"

"I mean… practice stuff." Lizzie replied. "Like kissing and getting used to things… like our bodies, for example."

Edwin swore he probably would've fainted had he not been leaning against the shelf.

"So, what do you think?" Lizzie asked.

"I think you're an alien or some kind of doppelganger posing as Lizzie McDonald." Edwin replied.

"I'm serious, Edwin!"

"So am I! That idea is crazy! We'd only get in trouble." He told her.

"Why?" She asked.

"Uh, we're siblings for one." He reminded her.

"_Step_-siblings." She corrected.

"It doesn't matter! It's still wrong!"

"What? Would you rather we avoid each other for the next, what, five years?"

"No, but -"

"No buts! Just… hear me out, okay?" Lizzie took a few deep breaths before continuing, "We could do this all in secret. We don't need to tell anyone, so there's no need to worry about us getting in trouble or people finding out because we won't _let_ them find out, and if anyone gets suspicious and asks… we lie. It's as simple as that. So what do you say?"

Edwin considered it for a moment before sighing.

"Okay, fine." He said, watching Lizzie's face brighten instantly. "But… what now? Like… when do we start?"

"You sound mighty eager for someone who was just opposed to the idea less than a minute ago." Lizzie teased, and Edwin promptly rolled his eyes as she continued, "Well… how about now? Yeah. I think now's good - everyone's asleep. We don't have to worry about anyone walking in on us. Quick, Edwin, kiss me."

"_What_?"

"Are you deaf?" asked Lizzie. "I said "kiss me"."

"I heard you!" Edwin hissed. "I just meant… _what_?"

Lizzie threw up her hands in frustration.

"As usual, I have to do everything myself." She sighed, stepping closer to him until their chests were touching. 

Then, she reached up, grabbed the back of his neck, and pressed her lips against his.

X

**Sorry if the last part of the chapter seemed a bit rushed. I wanted to get this chapter finished before Spring Break starts, since I'll be out of the town - the country, in fact! - and nowhere near a computer long enough to write something.**

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. Personally, I didn't like it, but hopefully you guys did.

** PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWW!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	5. Parental Advice

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Aww… you guys are great.

Long chapter up ahead!

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Parental Advice**_

X

Edwin felt like he was in heaven. Lizzie's lips were warm and soft and unlike anything he'd ever imagined, and for the first time in a long time, he was perfectly content. It was like he was floating on a cloud of some kind, free from any of his usual problems and stresses. For once, all seemed right in the world and then… the unthinkable happened.

Derek's loud, hoarse coughing - from a virus he'd contracted recently - echoed throughout the sleeping household, jerking Edwin from his reverie and in an instant, the reality of the situation came tumbling down on him.

Lizzie was kissing him. Lizzie was _kissing_ him. _Lizzie_ was kissing _him_. His dear, sweet, innocent yet clearly naïve and confused step-sister was kissing him and _he_, her older step-brother who should know better than to take advantage of her during such a vulnerable state, was kissing her back!

With this sudden realization, Edwin's eyes snapped open and he tore his lips from Lizzie's, causing her to stumble backwards and hit the door.

"Wha-? Edwin?" She called out breathlessly, furrowing her brow in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing!" Edwin lied, but the look Lizzie sent him next was a clear indication that she didn't believe him, so he went on. "I mean… I just… everything's happening so fast… I'm not sure about this, Liz."

Lizzie frowned.

"You're having second thoughts?"

"That's one way of putting it," he admitted, looking away from her. "It's just… we could get into a lot of trouble if we were ever caught, you know?"

"Then let's be smart about it and _not_ get caught." Lizzie countered. She leaned forward to try to kiss him again, but Edwin pushed her away.

"No!" His voice was starting to crack due to nerves and lack of sleep, but he didn't care. "I mean… just let me think it. Just… let me think everything over and I'll get back to you as soon as I can, okay?"

"And how soon will that be?" asked Lizzie, folding her arms across her chest and narrowing her eyes in a dangerous manner. "A day? A week? What about _months_? An entire year? How long are we talking, Edwin?"

"I don't know!" Edwin cried. "Just… you know… long enough to think about this! About… _us_."

"'Us'? What 'us'? There is no 'us' and if you don't decide soon, there will never _be_ an 'us'!" Lizzie snapped, and before Edwin could respond, she yanked open the closet door and stormed down the hallway.

He waited until he heard her bedroom door slam shut (all the while, silently thanking whichever deity currently listening that the rest of the family were all made up of deep sleepers) before releasing a shaky breath and sliding down to the floor, where he buried his face between his knees and mentally cursed himself for, once again, being a complete idiot.

X

The next morning, Edwin got up earlier than he usually did in order to avoid any potential run-ins with Lizzie. After what had taken place in the Games Closet the previous night, he wasn't entirely sure that he was ready to face her just yet and so, he'd set his alarm to go off at six o'clock (an hour and a half earlier than when he normally awoke), avoided the usual morning chaos - such as lineups to the bathroom and Derek and Casey's usual breakfast banter - and opted to walk to school instead of taking the bus with Lizzie like he usually did and, due to some bizarre stroke of luck, he'd successfully managed to avoid her for the majority of the day.

For the first portion of the day, it seemed as though that for once, luck seemed to actually be on Edwin's side. During class, their teacher had decided to rearrange the seating order so that he was no longer sitting next to Lizzie in the back anymore. He was now beside Teddy, which, at first, he was perfectly fine with… until it dawned on him that luck was still very much against him when he realized that, due to their new seating arrangement, Lizzie was now sitting beside Jamie, and he was now forced to watch them laugh and joke around together.

While Edwin was somewhat relieved that he didn't have to interact with Lizzie while she was still mad at him, that didn't mean that he wanted to sit back and watch - with jealousy radiating off him in waves - her have a good time with _Jamie_ of all people and act like what had happened between _them_… never happened.

He wasn't stupid. He knew about Jamie's crush on Lizzie, and while he knew for a fact that those feelings were obviously not reciprocated (_hello_? Why would Lizzie kiss _him_ if she liked _Jamie_?), watching the two goof off and exchange inside jokes during Ms. Parker's lecture still made Edwin green with envy, and it took most of his willpower not to storm over to them and kiss Lizzie senseless, just to put Jamie in his place. However, he wasn't too sure how everyone in their class would react to that, so he forced himself to refrain from doing so - but that didn't mean Jamie was off the hook.

Needless to say, he (and Teddy) spent the majority of their day getting yelled at by Ms. Parker for shooting spitballs at the back of Jamie's head…

… which was precisely why he now found himself face-to-face with his dad at the dining room table.

"So?" His father wondered out loud, finally breaking the silence that had fallen on them. "Care to explain why Nora and I received multiple phone calls from your teacher concerning your behavior in her class today?"

Edwin shrugged.

"There's nothing _to_ explain," he replied casually. "Me and Teddy were just goofing off."

George sighed.

"Edwin…" he started, "shooting spitballs at another student while your teacher was trying to teach a lesson? That isn't like you. Derek, maybe, but -" he paused suddenly to allow the light bulb to go off in his mind before looking back at his youngest son. "Don't tell me…"

Edwin arched an eyebrow.

"Don't tell you what?" He asked.

George sighed again.

"Edwin, I thought we've been over this. You're your own person and you shouldn't try to follow in Derek's footsteps just because you look up to him and think it's required. I mean, I know he's your older brother and all, but -"

"_What_ are you _talking_ about?" Edwin cried, cutting his dad off. "I don't know what _you're_ thinking, but whatever it is, it's wrong. I am _not_ trying to be like Derek!"

"Then what's going on, Ed? Why am I suddenly getting phone calls from your teacher - while I'm at work - complaining about your behavior?" George asked. "What's going on? Huh, Ed? Is there something wrong? Are you having trouble in school? Ed, if you're being bullied again -"

"Dad, enough with the twenty questions!" Edwin snapped. "_Nothing_ is wrong, _okay_? I was just having a little fun - that's _all_!"

George looked at his son skeptically.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "Because normally you wait until _after_ the lesson to start joking around."

Edwin rolled his eyes.

"Well, obviously, I didn't today." He muttered. "Can I go now?"

George didn't say anything at first. Instead, he observed his son's body language. Edwin was exceptionally good at lying - just like Derek - but his body language usually gave him away, and George could tell by the way his son slouched in his chair and the way he fidgeted with his hands and avoided eye contact, that he was lying. However, he couldn't _force_ the truth out of Edwin if Edwin didn't want to talk in the first place and so, he just leaned back in defeat.

"Alright, you're free to go." He said. "Just make sure I don't get any more phone calls from your teacher in the near future, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Edwin replied absentmindedly, as he rose to his feet and made his way over to the foot of the staircase.

"Oh, and Edwin?" His father called out, stopping Edwin in his tracks and causing him to turn around.

"Yeah?" He asked, gripping the banister tightly.

"I'm always here if you ever need someone to talk to," George reminded him. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah." Edwin replied, turning away from him. "Yeah, I know."

"Good. Just so we're clear on that."

Edwin glanced back at his father and forced a grin.

"Of course."

X

It was official, Edwin realized a few hours later, as he lay in his bed and gazed up at the ceiling.

He was going to drive himself insane.

An hour had passed since dinner - three hours since the talk with his dad - and during these hours, he'd done nothing but contemplate and think about Lizzie's proposal, much like he'd been doing all day long.

Dinner in itself had been incredibly awkward and tense, since he couldn't avoid Lizzie during that time. The fact that he sat directly across from her made that task very difficult, and though he'd done a pretty decent job at avoiding eye contact with her, he could still feel _hers_ on _him_.

That's not the reason why he was slipping into insanity, though.

No, not that. Rather, it was _not_ telling anyone about his… predicament… that was driving him crazy!

He _needed_ to get it off his chest… he needed advice… he needed _closure_ of some kind.

Of course, he'd considered going to Derek for such things, but given the fact that Derek was, well, _Derek_… he eventually decided that his brother _probably_ wasn't the best choice for the type of girl crisis he was currently in.

And _what_ sort of crisis slash predicament was he in?

He was in love.

That's what.

Well, maybe not _in love_… "love" was kind of a strong word, after all… but he was attracted to someone - and not just _any_ someone!

His step-sister.

_That_ someone.

And _she_ was apparently attracted to _him_ - at least, that's the signal she'd given off the previous night, what with her proposal and her little confession about having dreams of him and her _kiss_…

If _that_ wasn't attraction, he didn't know _what_ was.

Still… he had no idea what he was supposed to do. He'd spent most of the day weighing the pros and cons of Lizzie's proposal, only to discover that they were pretty much equal… which _really_ wasn't all that helpful in his quest for a final decision, which was why he was now in dire need of advice.

But in order to _gain_ advice, he'd have to tell someone about his problem. He'd have to tell them everything - about his erotic dreams about Lizzie, about Lizzie's proposal, about… _everything_!

Unless…

A light bulb went off in Edwin's head and he sat up with a Cheshire grin on his face.

He didn't have to tell the _whole_ truth… did he?

He could just… stretch the truth a little, right? No harm in doing _that_… right?

_'Of course not!'_ His mind exclaimed. _'Besides, what Dad doesn't know, can't hurt him.'_

With that small boost of reassurance, Edwin quickly slipped out of bed and out of his room. As he made his way down to the main floor, he and Lizzie crossed paths, and for a split second, everything felt like it was in slow motion. Their eyes met briefly - but only briefly, before Lizzie tore her gaze away and hurried by him, elbowing him in the ribs on her way up the stairs.

Edwin stayed put for a minute or two as he scanned his surroundings. He could hear Nora in the kitchen doing the dishes, but Derek didn't appear to be home - at least, that's what his empty recliner suggested - and neither did Casey, though he could only assume that she was out with Emily or Max. Or both. Marti was still next door hanging out with Dimi - that he knew for sure.

His eyes fell on his dad next, who was sitting at the dining room table - much like he'd been doing earlier that afternoon. Only this time, he was surrounded by paperwork.

Normally, Edwin would just leave him be and come back later when his dad wasn't busy, but given the gravity of the situation he was in… he wasn't sure he could afford to do that.

"Hey… Dad?" He greeted.

The uncertainty was evident in his voice, but his dad didn't appear to notice as he glanced up from his paperwork.

"Yeah, Ed?"

Edwin fought the urge to bite his lip.

"Umm… can we talk?" He asked. "Or are you too busy? 'Cause I could always come back later when you're not b-"

"No, no!" George interrupted, pushing his paperwork aside and motioning to the seat next to him. "I'm not busy at all!"

"Are you sure?" asked Edwin, not wanting to impose or anything.

"Absolutely," his dad replied. "Now sit down and talk away. I'm all ears."

Edwin hesitated for a moment before slumping down in the chair.

"Okay, so… earlier today, I lied. There _is_ something going on… just not what you think." He told him. "I'm not having trouble in school or being bullied or anything like that. See… I have this friend - Daniel, right - and he… well, there's this girl -"

"A girl, eh?" George chuckled. "So it's _that_ kind of problem. So who's this girl?"

"Uh… I don't really know…" Edwin admitted, as his eyes darted around the dining room. When his father sent him a quizzical look, he blurted out the first lie that he could think of. "I mean… what I meant to say was… _I_ don't know her. She's in a different class than us - I think her name's… umm… Jordan? Yeah, that's it… and well… Daniel _really_ likes her, and he thinks she might like him back."

"And why does he think that?" asked George. "And more importantly, why haven't I met this "Daniel" before?"

"Well… she sort of kissed him." Edwin replied. "And he's… he moved here last semester, so he's kind of new at our school… but that's not the point! The point _is_… what should he do now?"

George sighed.

"Well, that depends… does Daniel know for sure that this girl likes him back?"

"Well, she asked him out, so… he's pretty sure." Edwin replied.

"Then why doesn't he just say yes?" asked George.

"_Because_!" Edwin cried. "They're really good friends and they could get into a lot of trouble!"

George furrowed his brow.

"Trouble?" He asked. "Why's that?"

"Their families don't really like each other. It's kind of like this whole 'Romeo and Juliet'-esque thing, really." Edwin explained. "So… what should he do?"

George scratched the side of his head and shrugged.

"I wish I knew, Ed." He said. "I mean, to me… it sounds like your friend is in a pretty tight situation… there's not a lot he can do, but…"

"But…?"

"If _I_ were in your shoes, I'd tell your friend to just go for it." George told him. "I mean, if he _really_ likes this girl… and if she _really_ likes him back… then why not? They shouldn't be deprived of their happiness because their families have issues with each other. Do you know what I'm saying, Ed?"

Edwin nodded slowly as he allowed his father's words to sink in and register in his mind.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I think I do."

"Good." George replied. "Was I any help?"

Edwin grinned at him as he stood up.

"Yeah. A lot of help." He said. "Thanks, Dad!"

"What are dads for?" George replied, watching as his son bounded up the stairs.

"What was that about?" asked Nora, emerging from the kitchen with five brown envelopes - report cards.

She set them down in front of him.

"How are they?" He dared to ask, a little nervous to find out.

"They're fine." His wife replied. "Derek's average is a little higher than last time… Edwin and Casey are straight A's as usual… Marti's doing really well in Art, and Lizzie's is a mix of A's and B's."

"I see," said George, spreading the envelopes out in order to decide whose report he was going to look at first.

That's when he noticed something strange about Edwin and Lizzie's reports.

Edwin's was addressed to, "Edwin Daniel Venturi" whereas Lizzie's was addressed to, "Elizabeth Jordan McDonald".

Their middle names immediately became the focus of his attention.

Daniel and… Jordan?

It couldn't be… could it?

"What's wrong? You look like you've just seen a ghost." Nora teased, wrapping her arms around him.

"No," he croaked, shaking his head. "Not a ghost. Just… I realized that I didn't know Lizzie's middle name until today. Pretty sad, huh?"

"No, not sad. You're still learning." Nora scolded, kissing him on the cheek. "Speaking of Lizzie, though… she's been moping around all day. I think I need to have a little talk with her."

"You do that," said George. "In the meantime, I'll take a look at these."

"Okay. Have fun!" Nora kissed his cheek one last time before making her way up the stairs.

Meanwhile, George brought his attention back to the report cards. After a few minutes, he let out a small chortle.

"Georgie-boy, age is obviously starting to get to you. You're losing your mind. Edwin and Lizzie? Please."

X

Lizzie couldn't help but scowl bitterly as she paced back and forth in her room. Her homework sat forgotten on her bed, while various sheets of papers proclaiming Edwin's "jerkness" lay scattered across her desk and floor.

The reason for this? Quite simple, really.

Try as she might, Lizzie just couldn't get the youngest Venturi boy out of her head. He was all she could think about lately. Every time she tried to concentrate on something else - something that wasn't even remotely Edwin-related, like soccer or Tae Kwon Do or _homework_ - her thoughts would just drift back to him. She couldn't even escape him in her dreams! He was _everywhere_, it seemed, and it was _really_ starting to get on her nerves.

Sort of.

At least, that's what she tried to convince herself. She tried to convince herself that she was annoyed - that deep down, she didn't want to even _think_ about him - but deep down, she knew she didn't mind it as much as she tried to make herself believe, and although _that_ didn't necessarily bug her… Edwin's recent attitude towards her during the past few days sure as hell did.

He'd been avoiding her like the plague lately… and he didn't agree to her proposition immediately like she'd hoped… and when she had tried to change his mind by kissing him a second time, he'd only pushed her away.

Needless to say… it stung. _A lot_. It made her feel rejected in a way. It made her feel ugly. It made her feel like her heart had just been ripped out of her chest and stomped on.

It made her feel _angry_.

"Lizard?" A voice called out, snapping Lizzie out of her thoughts and causing her to whip around.

"_Mom_!" She cried when she spotted her mother standing in her doorway. "What the heck? Doesn't anyone ever _knock_ in this house anymore?"

Nora seemed slightly taken aback by her daughter's tone - and a little scared, too, so she quickly held up her hands in defense.

"Relax, kiddo. I knocked. You were probably too busy pacing to hear, though."

Lizzie seemed to calm down a bit.

"Oh," she said. "Well… how long have you been standing there?"

"Not long." Nora assured her.

Lizzie crossed her arms.

"So… what do you want?"

"Oh, nothing…" replied Nora, stepping further into her room and shutting the door behind her. "I just want to talk."

_'Of course. Why doesn't_ that _surprise me?'_ Lizzie thought irritably as she sat down on the edge of her bed.

Her mother quickly followed suit.

"So…" she started, drumming her fingers against her knees and glancing around the messy room. "What's new?"

"Not much." Lizzie replied simply.

"Are you sure?"

The youngest McDonald looked up, confusion etched across her face.

"Yeah…" she said slowly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Nora replied, shrugging. "You just seem a little… out of your element, lately."

"What do you mean?" asked Lizzie.

Nora didn't respond at first. Lizzie watched as her mother leaned forward to pick up a piece of discarded paper off the floor and read through it.

"'Here lies Edwin Venturi: King of the Jerks'," she read out loud, before glancing up at her daughter and arching an eyebrow. "Liz… are you and Edwin fighting?"

"No!" Lizzie snapped. "What makes you think that?"

Nora sighed and flipped the paper so that she could see. It was a drawing of a tombstone with Edwin's name on it.

Lizzie sighed and rolled her eyes.

"It's for Art." She lied.

"Really, now?"

Lizzie didn't reply.

Nora sighed and scooted closer.

"Liz… if you and Edwin are fighting, the best thing for you guys to do is _talk_ to each other about it. You can't just mope around the house ignoring each other all day because eventually you'll have so much anger bottled up inside you that you'll explode. Then you'll end up saying things that you'll only regret later on." Nora paused to hug her close before continuing. "You and Edwin have always gotten along and I'd really hate to see a small fight or disagreement tear all that apart. Do you see what I'm saying, Liz?"

Lizzie nodded slowly, but didn't say anything so Nora went on.

"That's good." She said, before letting out a small giggle. "You know, originally when I was coming up to talk to you, I thought it might be about hormones or boys or -"

"_Mom_!" Lizzie whined, pulling out of her mother's hold and scooting as far away from her as possible. "Not the hormone talk again! I thought we were over this!"

"I know, I know," said Nora. "All I'm saying is that… adolescence is -"

"I'm not listening to this." Lizzie announced, covering her ears as she stood up and walked over to her door.

"Liz -" began Nora, but as soon as her daughter opened the door, a loud shriek cut her off.

_**"DER-EK!"**_ Casey's voice bellowed throughout the household.

Nora flinched, briefly wondering why she hadn't gone deaf by that point before glancing over at her youngest daughter, who just smiled innocently at her.

"Duty calls." She reminded her.

Nora sighed and nodded, before standing up and exiting her daughter's bedroom to go downstairs and check her _other_ daughter - but not before reminding Lizzie that they _would_ have another talk in the near future.

When she finally out of earshot, Lizzie sighed and slumped against her door, where she stayed like that for a good five minutes before curiosity got the better of her.

She could hear Casey yelling at Derek for something, but what that something was… she didn't know, but she was certainly going to find out. With that thought in mind, she switched off her bedroom light (after all, wasting electricity was an environmental hazard) and made her way down the dark hallway, but before she could reach the stairs, a hand shot out and clamped over her mouth while another grabbed her wrist, where it then pulled her into a much darker and more cramped space.

There, she found herself pressed uncomfortably between a shelf and another body.

She could hear (and feel) someone breathing heavily against her neck, and didn't say anything as the hand was removed from her mouth.

"I accept your proposal, Miss McDonald." Edwin's voice whispered into her ear, sending chills up her spine.

Before she could reply, though, Edwin's lips came crashing down on hers.

X

**My God that was a long chapter, wasn't it? Seriously, I think that's the longest chapter I've ever written. Seriously!**

**I really hope you guys enjoyed. I actually like how this chapter turned out… apart from the Nora/Lizzie bonding… but everything else, absolutely.**

**Tell me what you think!**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	6. A Night on the Town

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_, the malls or any of the bands and movies mentioned in the fic. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: I'm so glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter. I still can't get over the response this fic is getting. I'm absolutely ecstatic! Hope you enjoy this next chapter!

**RANDOM FACT:** Westmount Mall and White Oaks Mall are actual malls in London, Ontario. I should know, because I used to live there, haha.

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**A Night on the Town**_

X

They had been seeing each other in secret for nearly two weeks and for once, Edwin and Lizzie were glad that they were the middle kids because it gave them an advantage that none of their other siblings had.

That advantage? To be able to sneak off without being detected or raising suspicion.

To everyone else in the Venturi-McDonald household, Edwin and Lizzie sneaking away to go meet up in the Games Closet was nothing new. They'd been doing that since the day their families merged. Add that to the fact that the rest of their family members were so absorbed with what was going on with their own lives and well… it just made it _that_ much easier to meet up and do as they pleased.

The best part? No one noticed a single thing. On the surface, everything was back to normal - well, as normal as things got for their crazy family. Since Edwin and Lizzie were no longer "fighting" and were back to their regular routine of spying on Derek and Casey - or rather, "observing teenage interaction" - and basically being joined at the hip, their elder siblings (and Marti, to an extent) were back to doing what they did best - keeping the attention focused on themselves, and as usual, Edwin and Lizzie were pushed aside - but they didn't care. At least, not anymore.

It was truly remarkable, though, how incredibly oblivious their family was. Even though everything appeared to be "back to normal" on the outside, any _normal_ family would be able to see through the alleged "normalcy". Any _normal_ family would be able to put two and two together, and realize that Edwin and Lizzie's "meetings" were becoming more frequent, and any _normal_ family would probably catch the lustful glances they shared at the dinner table, or the shy smiles exchanged whenever their hands accidentally touched when they reached for the remote at the same time.

The Venturi-McDonalds, however, were the furthest thing _from_ normal, and they were completely and utterly oblivious. They (Edwin and Lizzie, that is) could probably waltz into the kitchen holding hands and no one would bat an eye. They wouldn't risk it, of course, but that's just how blind their family was. Besides, it was so much more fun meeting up in secret - kind of romantic, even. Like it was forbidden or something.

Still… as romantic as it was, meeting up in the Games Closet just for the sake of practicing kissing and exploring one another's bodies was getting old, and as Lizzie broke their current kiss for oxygen, Edwin couldn't help but voice his thoughts - thoughts that had been eating away at him since the start of their evening escapades.

"What are we?" He asked, still a bit breathless from the kiss.

Lizzie, who was leaning in for another kiss, pulled back and frowned.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I mean… what are _we_?" Edwin specified, motioning to the two of them. "Like… are we… you know… boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Lizzie sighed and fell back against the closet door, closing her eyes and repeating Edwin's question over and over again in her mind. Truth be told, she hadn't really given much thought about _them_. Sure, they'd been "seeing" each other (in secret) for the better part of two weeks, but that… their meetings, that is… were primarily scheduled for the sole purpose of "practice".

That didn't mean anything, did it?

_Were_ they boyfriend and girlfriend? She wondered. Even though neither of them had actually made it official… they had to be _something_, right? There was an obvious attraction on both their parts, clearly, but was that all it was? An attraction? Infatuation with a dose of raging hormones? Were they merely "step-siblings with benefits", using each other to satisfy their urges until they found someone better? Or were they something more than that?

"I don't know…" she answered finally, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Are we?"

"D-do you want to be?" Edwin stammered.

"Do you?" Lizzie countered.

"I… I wouldn't mind, if that's what you mean." Edwin replied, stuffing his hands into his pockets and refusing to meet her gaze. "Would you?"

"N-no…" Lizzie couldn't help but want to smack herself for sounding so nervous and unsure.

Edwin swallowed nervously and licked his lips.

"Then… do you want to be?" He asked.

"Be what?" asked Lizzie, though she had a feeling she already knew what he was going to ask.

"My girlfriend." He replied, confirming what she already knew.

"Umm… o-okay…" Damn it! Why was she so nervous? This was _Edwin_ she was talking to!

"So… I guess it's official, then." He said. "We're boyfriend and girlfriend."

"I guess so."

An awkward silence - something that seemed to be becoming more common - dawned on them, and for a few minutes, neither of them said anything. Then Lizzie, growing tired of the silence, spoke up.

"So… what now?" She asked.

"Well… it's obvious, isn't it?" Edwin said. "We… go out on a date."

Lizzie smirked.

"A date?" She repeated. "At this hour? In _public_?"

Edwin rolled his eyes.

"Not right now!" He said. "I was thinking maybe… tomorrow night? We could go see a movie at Westmount… it's less crowded there and we're less likely to run into people we know."

"It sounds to me like you've actually thought this through," said Lizzie, still smirking. "Have you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Just a little."

Edwin sighed and scratched the side of his head.

"So… is that a yes or no?" He asked.

"Well… it _is_ getting kind of cramped in here… and a change of scenery _would_ be nice…" Lizzie thought about it for a few more seconds before smiling. "Sure. Why not?"

Edwin's eyes lit up.

"Really? That's great!" He exclaimed, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a tight embrace. "You won't regret this, Liz! I promise!"

"I know, I know… but you _are_ paying, right?"

Edwin immediately released her and took a step back, grinning sheepishly.

"Of… course I am." He said slowly, through gritted teeth.

Lizzie beamed.

"Good." She chirped, leaning forward and kissing the corner of his mouth before pulling away. "It's a date, then."

X

At around 5:30 the following afternoon, Lizzie found herself uncharacteristically stressing over what to wear for her date with Edwin. It was silly, really - ridiculous, even. She'd never been one to worry about superficial issues before, so why was she suddenly starting now? More importantly, however… why was she doing it all for _Edwin_?

It was that precise thought that made Lizzie stop pacing around her room and sigh for the umpteenth time that day. Puberty was so annoying. It was messing with her head and turning her into a miniature Casey - something she _really_ didn't want to happen. Unfortunately, her adolescent mind thought otherwise, and after a heated debate with her conscience that lasted about three minutes, she reluctantly succumbed to her feminine urges and made her way over to her closet.

She skimmed through her wardrobe in search of something… _appealing_ to wear. Something nice and flattering, but not trashy. Eventually, she came across something decent enough and started to get ready.

Getting ready that particular afternoon was probably the longest and most dreadful experience of her life, and she was certain that by using her mother's blow-dryer to dry her hair instead of letting it do so naturally, she definitely contributed to the ongoing threat of Global Warming. It made her feel bad, but she didn't have _time_ to let it dry naturally. They had to leave for their date soon and if she wanted to look her best, she had to… make sacrifices.

_'Oh, dear God.'_ Lizzie thought mournfully, as she slipped on a belt and made her way over to the full-length mirror hanging on the back of her door. _'What the hell is wrong with me?'_

She bit her lip and scrunched up her nose as she gazed at her reflection in the mirror, examining every inch of her body.

There were so many things wrong with her, it wasn't even funny. Sure, she'd moved up from a training bra to an actual bra, but even then, she was still small in comparison to the other girls she knew - like Tanya and Michelle, for example - and she was nowhere _near_ as busty as Casey.

To add salt to the wound, it was a well known fact that Edwin was a "bust" type of guy, too. He'd made that clear numerous times, and the fact that she wasn't exactly the "biggest" girl in their class made her feel rather… inadequate, to say the least.

A knock at the door snapped Lizzie out of her thoughts, and that knock was soon followed by Edwin's muffled voice.

"Hey, are you ready?"

"Yeah!" She called back. "I'll be out in a sec!"

X

_'Whoa.'_

That was the only thing that came to Edwin's mind as Lizzie emerged from her bedroom just seconds later, clad in a jean skirt with black leggings. She also wore a light green top that tied up above her waist, revealing the yellow tank top underneath. Her entire ensemble was topped off with some matching jewelry that he'd seen Casey wear before, so he could only assume that they belonged to _her_.

"You're staring." Lizzie's voice brought his attention back to her face. "Is something wrong?"

"What? No! Of course not!" Edwin assured her. "You look great!"

A faint blush graced Lizzie's cheeks, but she quickly got over the compliment and changed the subject.

"So, are we ready to go?" She asked.

"Uhh… yeah…" Edwin replied. "You remember what I said, though, right?"

"Yeah. If anyone asks, I'm meeting up with Jamie and you're meeting with Michelle." Lizzie recited.

Edwin smiled.

"Great." He said, before glancing down at his watch. "We better get going. The bus leaves in ten and we've got a five-minute walk. Do you have everything?"

"Yep."

"Good! We're all set, then!"

X

Edwin turned out to be right, Lizzie realized, as the two wandered aimlessly from store to store while waiting for their movie to start.

Westmount Mall was significantly less crowded than White Oaks, and the only people who usually shopped there were the senior citizens (because they enjoyed the peace and quiet) and mothers with young children, so the chances of them running into someone they knew were very slim. Besides, most of the kids in their grade - as well as all of the teenagers they knew - shopped at White Oaks because that's where all of the "cool" stores were. So, needless to say, they were pretty much safe.

After a while, Edwin and Lizzie found themselves walking around the back of a music store in search of a record player. Edwin was really into the old vintage music from the fifties and sixties. He owned quite a few records by artists like Buddy Holly and bands like the Beatles and the Who, and even some records that dated back long before the second World War - they'd all been stashed in boxes in the back of his bedroom attic when he'd first moved up there to make room for the McDonald women. The only problem was… he didn't have a record player to play the records on, and to him, downloading the music off the Internet or buying the albums on CD just wasn't the same as listening to it the old fashioned way, which was why he'd been searching high and low for an actual record player for nearly two years… with very little success, unfortunately.

"How much longer until our movie starts?" Lizzie wondered out loud, as she picked up an Evanescence CD and checked the price.

"Uhh…" Edwin stopped trying to peer through the storage room and glanced up at the Marilyn Monroe clock hanging on the wall. "Pretty soon, actually. We should go."

Lizzie nodded and put the Evanescence CD back where she'd found it before she and Edwin made their way out of the music store, up the escalator and over to the movie theatre on the second floor.

"Two tickets to 'Shutter'." Edwin announced, slapping a movie coupon for two onto the counter once they'd reached the ticket booth.

The guy sitting at the counter - whose nametag read "Mark" - had curly red hair and thick glasses, and looked to be in his mid-twenties. He wore a sour expression on his face and didn't look like he enjoyed his job too much, and after placing his comic book down, he raised an eyebrow at Edwin.

"Aren't you a little young for that movie?" He said. "How old are you?"

"Fourteen." Edwin lied.

"Riiiight." The guy, Mark, obviously didn't believe him. "You know… I think 'Horton Hears A Who' might be a little more appropriate for someone your age, don't you agree?"

"Dude, I'm fourteen!" Edwin cried. "Just give me and my girlfriend the freakin' tickets!"

"Edwin…" Lizzie started, wrapping her hand around his forearm. "Calm down or you'll get us kicked out."

Edwin smiled weakly at her and took a few deep breaths in order to regain his composure before turning back to face Mark.

"Fine. If you won't listen to me… at least listen to _this_." He pulled out an extra ten dollars and waved it around in front of Mark's face, feeling rather smug as he watched the redhead eye the money greedily. "For you… _if_ you give us the tickets. What do you say, Mark?"

Beside him, Lizzie was speechless. She knew Edwin liked to bribe and bet for his own benefit, but it'd never really impressed her like it did at that moment, and when his lips curled into a very Derek-like smirk when Mark snatched the bill and handed him the tickets… she nearly swooned.

"C'mon, Liz."

Before Lizzie could even respond, Edwin grabbed her hand and led her over to the popcorn stand.

X

Edwin's jaw clenched tightly as a particular jumpy scene caused Lizzie to shriek and cover her eyes.

The movie was about halfway in and Edwin really didn't know what to do. A silent debate was going on in his head, about whether or not he should wrap his arm around her. It was completely ridiculous, really, since it wasn't exactly unusual for him to just casually throw an arm over her shoulder and pull her close to him, but ever since they'd started… whatever it was they were doing, things were different. She wasn't just his step-sister anymore, she was his girlfriend too.

He ran his tongue over his bottom lip. All of his worrying was making him thirsty, but when he reached for his drink, his fingers accidentally grazed Lizzie's. Their eyes met briefly, but Edwin quickly pulled his hand back like it'd just been burned and looked down at his lap.

"Sorry." He murmured.

"S'okay." Lizzie replied softly.

"Do you… like the movie?" He asked.

"It's okay." She said.

Edwin glanced over.

"Do you want to ditch?"

Lizzie shrugged.

"I dunno… it'd be a huge waste of a perfectly good coupon…"

"Yeah," Edwin agreed. "I guess."

They went back to watching the movie, but after about five minutes, Lizzie spoke up again.

"Edwin?"

Edwin turned to face her, opening his mouth to say something, but was cut off when Lizzie suddenly grabbed his face with both of her hands and brought his lips to hers in a kiss that lasted mere seconds, but left him breathless anyway.

"What was that for?" He asked.

Lizzie just smiled.

"No reason." She replied, before focusing her attention back on the movie.

X

About an hour or so later, Edwin and Lizzie walked through the front door of their house, only to find the rest of their family sitting in the living room eating leftover pizza and watching TV. No one really acknowledged their presence, save for Nora, who wanted to know how the movie went.

"It was alright," Lizzie replied, "Nothing spectacular or anything."

Edwin nodded in agreement.

"That's good." Nora replied, grinning. "Did you two have fun with Jamie and Michelle?"

Edwin and Lizzie glanced at each other before looking back at her.

"Oh, yeah, it was a blast." Edwin said. "You really should've been there."

Lizzie bit her tongue to keep from laughing, and before her mother could ask any more questions, she quickly grabbed Edwin's wrist and dragged him up the stairs.

X

**And that's the end of chapter 6! I apologize if the chapter sort of wavered near the end… I'm really tired, to be honest. It's almost midnight here. Still, I hope you guys enjoyed!**

**Please, leave a review and I'll update as soon as I can!**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	7. Busted

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Once again, thanks for the reviews. You guys are awesome. No, seriously, you are.

Yeah, so this chapter has quite a lot of… ahem, LANGUAGE in it. Particularly in the beginning. I, personally, blame _**South Park**_ for this, since I was watching it while I wrote the first half of the chapter. So, if any of you are offended by the swearing… my apologies.

Enjoy!

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Busted**_

X

"Dude, seriously, _where_ were you all weekend? I called your house, like, fifty times!"

At the sound of Teddy Jones' voice, Edwin glanced up from his lunch and watched as his friend settled down across from him. When Teddy proceeded to shoot him a "what-the-hell?" kind of look, Edwin just raised an eyebrow at him before turning his head away and allowing his gaze to wander around the crowded cafeteria.

A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth when he spotted Lizzie not too far away, standing in line while she waited to buy food after forgetting her lunch at home. Being her step-brother _and_ boyfriend, he had, of course, offered to share his own, but seeing as though it was a turkey sandwich and _she_ was a vegetarian, she'd refused and instead, opted to buy her own, even if she had to waste ten minutes waiting in a ridiculously long lineup to do so.

"_Damn_." Teddy's voice jerked Edwin from his reverie. "Lizzie's got some nice legs. She should show 'em off more often."

His perverse comment made Edwin absolutely _livid_. It made his fists clench and his blood boil, and had he been as short-tempered and impulsive as his brother, he probably would've wiped the lecherous grin off Teddy's face right there and then. Fortunately, however, he was able to maintain a seemingly cool exterior, even though he was practically _fuming_ on the inside.

"Shut up." He managed to growl out. "That's my sister you're talking about, moron."

Teddy scoffed at this and rolled his eyes.

"Relax, Ed." He said. "I meant no offense. I was merely speaking the truth."

"The truth." Edwin deadpanned. "And what would that be?"

A dramatic pause ensued - one in which Teddy seemed to be thinking long and hard about the question just asked. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, he spoke.

"That your step-sister is _hot_." He stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He was completely oblivious to the venomous glare - courtesy of Edwin - he was receiving as he went on, "Man, you're so lucky. You actually get to _live_ with her. _And_ her sister. So you've basically got _two_ hot chicks living under your roof, you lucky bastard." He let out a brief laugh. "Seriously, though, I don't know how you do it. How do you have so much self-control? I mean, if I was in your shoes, I'd be totally taking advantage of it. I'd be in Lizzie's room every chance I could get, fucking her so ha -"

Teddy didn't even have time to finish his sentence before Edwin's fist collided with his jaw, sending him flying backwards. A few shrieks echoed throughout the cafeteria, causing people to stop whatever it was they were doing to see what was going on. Students watched, mouths agape, as Edwin - who was usually so calm and collected - stood up and walked around the table, kneeling beside Teddy's body as the other boy thrashed around on the floor, cursing loudly in pain.

By the time Teddy found the strength to sit up, a crowd had already begun to form.

"Dude!" He yelled at Edwin. "What the hell's your problem?"

Edwin narrowed his eyes.

"My problem? _My problem_? You know exactly what my problem is!" He shouted. "I can't _believe_ you said that - and about Lizzie, of all people!"

Teddy sat up straight.

"Wait. _That's_ why you punched me? Because of what I said about _Lizzie_?"

"She's my sister!" Edwin cried.

"Oh, don't make me laugh!" Teddy sneered. "I've seen the way you look at her - the way you've always looked at her. Those aren't the eyes of a brother; they're the eyes of a lover! So I suggest you stop using the 'sister' excuse because you're little façade isn't fooling anyone. We all know you've got the hots for her, you incestuous freak!"

Gasps echoed all around them, followed by whispers and murmurs, but neither Edwin nor Teddy paid any attention. They were far too busy glaring at one another to really notice.

"Take that back." Edwin glowered. "Take that back right now or I'll -"

"You'll _what_?" Teddy challenged. "Punch me again? For _what_? Speaking the truth?"

"Shut up and take it back!" Edwin snarled.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Christ, Teddy, just take it back!"

There was a brief pause, and then…

"_Make me_."

Edwin lost it. He couldn't contain his anger any longer, and without warning, he tackled Teddy to the floor and started beating him. He hit his face, his neck, his head, his chest… anywhere he could reach. He didn't care. All he wanted to do was hurt Teddy - to inflict as much pain on him as he possibly could, and make him pay for the things he'd said about Lizzie.

Teddy fought back, though. Using his strength, he pushed the Venturi off of him before taking a swing at his face, nailing him directly in the eye.

Edwin cried out as soon as contact was made, and both boys knew that he'd probably be sporting a black eye by the time dinner rolled around.

By this point, the entire cafeteria was crowded around them. Some students stood completely statuesque, eyes wide and mouths gaping because none of them knew what to do. Others cheered and jeered as loudly as they could, egging the fight on.

"Get _off_ me, jackass!" Edwin shouted, thrusting his fist forward and hitting Teddy square in the chest, just hard enough to knock him off balance and give _him_ the upper hand.

Once he had Teddy pinned beneath him, he glared down at the chunkier boy with as much hatred as he could possibly muster, fist poised and ready to strike at any given time.

Teddy just grinned smugly at him.

"Go on, Eddy. Hit me." He dared. "You know you want to."

Oh, he did. He wanted nothing more than to do just that.

Edwin's fist tightened, making his knuckles go completely white, and just as he was about to abide to Teddy's request, he heard Lizzie's voice.

"Edwin… what are you doing?"

Edwin's fist froze right before it reached Teddy's face. He blinked twice, confused, before craning his neck to glance behind him. He was startled to find Lizzie standing there, accompanied by Jamie, Michelle, Jason and even Ronnie - all of whom, minus Ronnie, looked positively horrified at the scene taking place in front of them.

As the reality of the situation dawned on him, he locked eyes with Lizzie, whose expression was unreadable. He couldn't tell if she was angry or scared or… anything, really. Her face was just… blank.

Unconsciously, his fist uncurled and dropped, his arm falling limply at his side. Without another word, he climbed off Teddy's bruised and battered body and stood slowly, making his way over to Lizzie with his head hung so that she wouldn't be able to see his face.

"C'mon," he murmured, wrapping a protective arm around her. "Let's go."

He was about to lead her out of the cafeteria when Teddy called out to him.

"Where are you going, Venturi?" He asked. "Gonna go fuck Lizzie in the janitor's closet? You guys seem to really like small spaces, after all."

That's all it took. That one little comment, before Edwin snapped again.

Whipping around, he lunged at Teddy - ignoring Lizzie and Michelle's pleas to "calm down" and "knock it off". Teddy, who hadn't expected Edwin to move so quickly, barely had time to register what was going on before the Venturi's fist met his face for the umpteenth time that day.

A sickening _crunch_ sounded soon after, followed closely by Teddy's agonized cry, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that Edwin had just broken his nose.

"Edwin!" Lizzie was at his side in an instant. "What did you _do_?"

Edwin didn't say anything - _couldn't_ say anything. All he could do was stare at his curled fist in shock, unable to believe what he'd just done. By the time the shock wore off, two minutes had already passed. Teddy lay sprawled out on the ground, covering his bloody and broken nose as a string of profanities left his lips. Finally, Edwin turned to face his girlfriend, opening his mouth to say something, but before any words could come out, the Principal's voice cut him off.

"_What_ in God's name is going on in here?"

That's when Edwin knew he was in trouble.

Big time.

X

Not even an hour had passed since the fight at lunch before Edwin found himself back at home - having been suspended from school for an entire week - while his dad and Nora paced back and forth in front of him, berating him for his poor judgment and arguing with each other about _how_, exactly, they were going to go about punishing him, because compared to Derek, _he_ was (usually) an angel who rarely ever got in trouble.

"Should we ground him? Take away his video games? What about his comic books?"

"Yes, but for how long?"

"Two months?"

"I don't know, Georgie… that seems a bit harsh for his first offense. How about one month?"

"How's that gong to teach him anything?"

Edwin rolled his eyes as he continued to watch the exchange between his father and Nora. He was so _bored_ and Lizzie wouldn't be home for another three hours and when she _did_ finally get home, she was probably going to go all parental on him. Marti would be kept in the dark, of course - Derek was a bad enough influence, after all - even though she'd eventually find out anyways. Derek and Casey… well, Derek probably wouldn't care, but he was almost positive that Casey was going to scold him when she got the chance. It was inevitable.

"Well?" His dad's voice brought him back to the present. Glancing up, Edwin discovered that his dad and Nora had stopped arguing and their attention was now focused solely on _him_ again. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Edwin just shrugged.

"What do you _want_ me to say?" He asked.

"Uh, an explanation might be nice." Nora said.

Her husband nodded in agreement.

Edwin furrowed his brow.

"Why? Mr. Greenberg already told you what happened." He pointed out.

"Yes, but we want to hear _your_ side of the story."

Edwin groaned. He _really_ didn't want to discuss the entire ordeal with his dad and step-mom. The content would just make them suspicious of him and Lizzie, and he certainly couldn't have that. So, instead, he stated the obvious.

"I fought with Teddy."

"We _know_ that." George said. "What want to know is _why_ you fought with him."

"And at school, no less!" Nora added. "I thought you two were friends…"

"Oh, we _were_. Not anymore, though." Edwin muttered, folding his arms across his chest.

"Why?" asked Nora. "What happened?"

Edwin sighed, tilting his head back and staring up at the ceiling. For about a minute or so, he stayed silent, counting the little patterns on the ceiling in his head to pass the time. Finally, he looked back at his girlfriend's mother and spoke.

"He was being a jerk," he said. "He never knows when to shut up, so when he started talking about Lizzie… saying those things about her… I don't know. I guess I just lost control and punched him."

Nora's expression suddenly became very worried and she shot her husband a strange look. George didn't seem to catch on, however, and remained looking kind of confused and out of the loop.

"What… what _kind_ of stuff?" Nora asked slowly, turning back to face her youngest step-son.

Edwin didn't reply at first. He didn't know how. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her the kinds of vulgar things that Teddy had been saying about her daughter. He knew Nora wasn't stupid, though. She probably had an idea, what with being a female and all, but… really, what sort of mother in her right mind would ever want to find out that her twelve-year-old daughter was the subject of numerous dirty fantasies?

Swallowing nervously, he met Nora's gaze.

"Oh, you know… stuff." He said. "Just… stuff."

Nora bit her lip.

Edwin glanced over at his dad.

"Can I go now?" He asked.

"Now, just wait a -"

"No, George. Just… let him go. We'll talk about his punishment later." Nora said, fixing her husband with a stern look. "Right now, I need to talk to you. In _private_. Edwin, go to your room and stay there until we call you down."

Edwin just nodded and rose to his feet. He didn't say another word as he bounded up the stairs and left his dad and Nora to talk alone.

X

For the first half an hour, Edwin did nothing but lay in his bed and gaze up at the ceiling as the day's events played over and over again in his mind like an old black and white movie. He'd finally calmed down, it seemed, but there was a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach and a nagging voice in the back of his head, telling him that he'd overreacted with Teddy and that he'd only regret his actions later.

'Later' came much sooner than he'd anticipated, however. The more Edwin continued to dwell on and think about the fight, the worse the feeling in his stomach became. A inner battle began raging on inside of him, and he couldn't figure out whether or not he'd made the right decision. One half of him thought so - thought that Teddy had gotten exactly what he deserved. The other half, though, thought that breaking his nose was _too_ harsh and kept reminding him that, despite the fact that Teddy could be a jerk sometimes, he was still his friend, and by doing what he did… Edwin might've just jeopardized eight years of friendship.

Edwin sighed loudly and rolled over to face his clock. It was almost 1:30 in the afternoon. Just a few more hours and Lizzie would finally be home and _he_ wouldn't be bored out of his mind anymore. He dreaded the lecture he was bound to get, though.

In the meantime, however, he decided to take a nap - he had nothing better to do, after all, thanks to his punishment.

After a while, his eyes began to droop shut, and it wasn't long before he was engulfed by darkness.

X

It was the sound of persistent knocking at his door that finally jarred Edwin from his slumber, causing him to jerk forward too soon and fall out of bed in a heap of tangled sheets on the floor. When he managed to finally untangle himself from the dark green material, he crawled out on his hands and knees and was about to lift himself back up onto his bed when someone cleared their throat.

"_Ahem_."

Edwin froze.

Eyes wide, he slowly (and hesitantly) turned around. Instantly, his gaze landed on his brother, who stood leaning against his doorframe with his arms folded and a Cheshire grin on his face.

"You are _so_ busted."

X

**And that's the end of chapter 7. It was really painful to write. I actually really don't like this chapter… aside from the beginning, it's rather dull, I find, and it irks me. It didn't turn out as I'd originally planned.**

**In any case, I hope you guys enjoyed. Hopefully. I know the language and **_**implied**_** innuendos may be a little… uhh… uneasy to read for some of you, since Edwin and Lizzie are only in 7****th**** and 8****th**** grade… but Teddy's vulgarity shouldn't be that much of a surprise. I've met some pretty vulgar tweens. It's just getting worse and worse with each generation, I swear.**

**Again, I also wrote this while watching **_South Park_**, so that **_**might've**_** also influenced the language a bit, haha.**

**So… yep. That's pretty much all I can think of right now.**

**Now, do me a favor and click that awesome purple ****REVIEW**** button and tell me what you think!**

**Please?**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	8. Reverse Psychology

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: You guys are so great. Thanks so much for the reviews! This chapter's for you!

Enjoy!

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Reverse Psychology**_

X

The two brothers stared at one another for what seemed like eternity, neither of them uttering a sound. It was during this rare silence that Derek pushed away from the doorframe and stepped inside, kicking the door shut behind him before padding across the room and pulling up a chair near Edwin's desk. One seated comfortably, he glanced over at the younger Venturi.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "Cat got your tongue?"

Edwin quickly snapped out of his reverie and frowned.

"What do you want?"

Derek smirked.

"_Moi_?" He motioned to himself. "Well, that all depends. Personally, I want to be a millionaire and play in the NHL, but -"

"No." Edwin cut him off. "I mean… what are you doing here? What did you mean by me being busted? Busted for _what_?"

"Oh, _that_… see, Ed, you should really be more specific when you're talking. Otherwise, innocent people - such as myself - get confused."

"Just get to the point. I'm not in the mood for games."

"I can tell." Derek muttered. "Jeez, are you on your period or something?"

Edwin scowled.

"Relax, Ed. I'm joking." Derek assured him, before sighing loudly and leaning back, placing his hands behind his head. "Let's see… what have you done? Heh. What _haven't_ you done? Let's recap, shall we?" He cleared his throat. "Here's a good one… how about, despite being _my_ brother, you're the wimpiest kid in London; you've somehow managed to scare away every girl who's ever shown even the slightest bit of interest in you; you make out with stuffed monkeys -"

"That was _one_ time!" Edwin protested.

"Let me finish." Edwin reluctantly shut up, prompting Derek to continue. "- _Marti_ has more balls than you; you have no sense of style and… to be honest… you're just a very pathetic sight altogether. No offense."

Edwin opened his mouth to defend himself, but Derek quickly cut him off.

"And yet… despite all that… things seem to be taking a turn for the best."

Edwin glanced away.

"Oh. So, you heard about…?"

"Oh yeah." Derek nodded, an amused grin plastered on his face. "_Everyone_ heard about that fight. Dude, seriously, thanks to that fight, you're practically a legend at Thompson High and you haven't even started there yet. Congrats, Ed. There may hope for you after all."

Edwin looked up.

"Seriously?"

"Yep."

A small smile crept across Edwin's face.

"Sweet."

"Yeah. It is." Derek agreed. "Just don't tell Dad and Nora I told you that. They don't want this behavior encouraged and have you end up like yours truly. If they ask, just tell them I lectured you for hours on end -"

"They won't believe that." Edwin pointed out.

"No… probably not." Derek reasoned. "Well, just don't tell them I said anything. 'Kay?"

"Sure."

"Good. Now, onto the _real_ issue at hand." Derek smirked knowingly. "I'm sure you know which one I'm talking about."

Edwin's eyes widened and he quickly tore his gaze from his brother's and glanced over at his Babe Raider poster.

"I… don't know what you're talking about." He lied.

"Sure you do, Ed. You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about." Derek's eyes shimmered mischievously.

"You're lying."

"I assure you, Ed… I'm not lying." Derek told him. "I know _everything_. You may think you're doing a good job at keeping this little secret, but you're not as stealthy as you think. I know."

Edwin swallowed nervously and licked his lips. His hands trembled in his lap as his eyes darted frantically around his bedroom. He could feel his heart pounding rapidly in his chest as his breathing became more and more labored. He felt dizzy and sick to his stomach, and he knew that it wouldn't be long before he became too overwhelmed and passed out.

How could Derek know about him and Lizzie? How was that even possible? They'd been so careful… how did Derek find out? Did anyone else know?

He wanted to know. He _had_ to know.

"How?" He managed to croak out, somehow finding the courage to look his brother in the eye. "How long have you known about mine and Lizzie's relationship?"

The silence that followed was deafening. Then…

"Whoa, say what?" Derek cried, standing up so quickly and abruptly that he lost balance and fell back down. When he finally got back on his feet, he stared at his younger brother incredulously and pointed an accusing finger at him. "What did you just say?"

"I said… wait, _what_?" Edwin shook his head. "I said… me and Lizzie… I thought… you said… you mean, you _didn't_ know about Lizzie and me?"

"No!"

"Then… what the hell was all that crap about knowing stuff?" Edwin cried.

"It was a simple method of Reverse Psychology!" Derek countered. "I didn't know you'd actually fall for it!"

"You mean… all this time, you had no idea about me and Lizzie?" asked Edwin.

"None, but now that I _do_ know, you better start explaining. _Now_."

"C-can't we just forget this ever happened?" asked Edwin. "Let's just move on with our lives and -"

"Not a chance. Start talking. _Now_."

"It's… kind of a long story."

Derek glared.

"But… but I guess I could shorten it." Edwin added sheepishly. "What do you want to know?"

"How it happened? When it happened? _WHY_ it happened?" Derek suggested.

Edwin sighed.

"Fine. I guess it's been going on for a while now, but it didn't become official until a few weeks ago and… I don't know how or why it happened, it just sort of… _did_."

Edwin glanced up at Derek to see how he was reacting, and found the older boy pacing back and forth in his room, biting down on his knuckle and muttering to himself. He looked as pale as a ghost.

"This can't be happening… no… can't be… _I'm_ the screw-up… Christ… _fuck_!" He cursed loudly and kicked a random book - which had been carelessly (or rather, conveniently) discarded on the floor - across the room.

"You okay, D?"

Derek froze and turned to face his brother.

"What?"

"I said… are you okay?" Edwin repeated. "You look kind of… troubled."

"Troubled? What?" Derek shook his head and sat back down. "No, I'm fine. I was just…"

"Talking to yourself."

Derek narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to retort, but then stopped and glanced away.

"So… you and Lizzie, huh?" He said.

Edwin nodded.

"Yeah. You won't tell anyone, will you?"

Derek shook his head.

"Nah." He said, stranding up and making his way over to the door. "It's not my place to tell." Upon grasping the doorknob, he paused and peered over his shoulder to look at his brother. "Just tell me one thing, though."

"Sure. What do you want to know?" asked Edwin.

"The fight," said Derek. "It was about Lizzie, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Edwin confessed. "It was."

_'Just as I thought.'_ Derek pulled open the door. "Well, see you later."

Without even waiting for Edwin's response, the older Venturi closed the door behind him and fled down the attic steps.

On his way to his room, he paused just outside a familiar half-open door and peeked inside. His gaze instantly fell on the sleeping brunette curled up on her bed. A small smile - and a rare one, at that - tugged at the corners of his mouth when he noticed the calm and peaceful expression on her face. A sharp pang of guilt shot through him when he reminded himself that it was mostly _his_ fault that he didn't see that expression more often, but he quickly brushed the feeling aside and made his way back into his room.

Shutting the door behind him, his smile was soon replaced with a familiar smirk as ideas for his latest prank began to churn in his mind.

X

"Does it still hurt?"

Edwin inhaled sharply as Lizzie pressed an icepack against his swollen eye, nearly recoiling when she added too much pressure. She quickly took notice and pulled the icepack away before handing it to him.

"Here," she said. "You do it. I'm no good at this."

"What? No! You're great!" Edwin assured her. "I'm just a bit… you know…"

"Sore?"

He nodded.

Lizzie sighed and fell back against the headboard beside him, watching as he lifted the icepack back up to his eye.

"I still can't believe you fought Teddy." She murmured. "What were you thinking?"

Edwin turned to face her, his expression dead serious.

"I was _thinking_ of defending the honor and virtue of my girlfriend." He said.

Lizzie raised an eyebrow.

"Liz, you didn't hear what he was saying… it was…" He trailed off, clenching his fists tightly as Teddy's words echoed repeatedly in his mind.

"It doesn't matter. Fighting him was still a stupid thing to do." Lizzie told him. "Besides, I can defend myself."

"I know, but -"

"Still…" Lizzie went on, smiling weakly. "It was sweet, and I guess I should thank you."

Edwin blinked.

"Really?"

Lizzie nodded.

"Yes, so… thank you."

"Your wel -"

Before Edwin could finish his sentence, Lizzie cupped his face and captured his lips with hers.

Instinctively, Edwin's eyes fluttered closed and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap and kissing her back. Lizzie smiled against his lips as the kiss gradually deepened, letting one hand slide down to his shoulder for balance while the other buried itself in his hair, gripping it tightly and causing Edwin to groan - whether it be from pleasure or pain, Lizzie didn't know, but it gave her a feeling of dominance, and she couldn't help but enjoy that feeling, so she tugged harder and elicited more groans from the boy beneath her.

A sudden knock at the door brought Edwin and Lizzie back to reality. Lizzie quickly tore her lips away from Edwin's and climbed off him just as the door opened and Casey stepped inside.

"Hey, you two." She greeted, rubbing her eyes - a clear indication that she'd just woken up from a nap. "Time for dinner."

"Okay, Casey. Tell Mom and George we'll be right down."

Casey nodded and turned on her heel, making her way down the stairs.

Once her sister was out of earshot, Lizzie turned to face Edwin.

"That was close." She said.

"Yeah, no kidding."

She smiled weakly.

"It was worth it, though, right?" She hoped.

Edwin nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, really worth it, but I don't think that we should do that unless we're in the Games Closet… it's safer there." He said sensibly. "Or, at least, not when everyone else is home."

Lizzie nodded in agreement and slid off his bed, making her way over to the door. She stopped about halfway there when she realized he wasn't following her.

"You coming?" She asked.

"Yeah. I'll be there in a sec." Edwin said. "There's… something I need to take care of."

"Oh, okay then." Lizzie replied, before continuing on her way.

Once she was gone, Edwin dared to glance down at his lap.

"_Fuck_."

X

**And that's the end of chapter 8. This was a really random chapter… it's the only chapter I've never written out before typing, but I was out of lined paper, so… hehe.**

**So, clearly, Lizzie is exhibiting qualities of a sadist. I'm just kidding, of course, but… she likes dominance. I don't know, but she strikes me as the type of girl who'd "wear the pants", so to speak, in the Lizwin relationship. Does anyone else feel that way or is it just me? I dunno.**

**Also, I decided to add smidge of Dasey. Did anyone catch that? It was a really small moment, but I decided I needed to add some Dasey (even though it's one-sided right now) at some point, and I thought this was the best time to do so. Nothing particularly big, but it's there. Oh, and before I forget… the part where Derek is pacing around and talking to himself… he was only doing that because he realized that he wasn't the only one who fell for his step-sister. That's all. Though, Edwin won't find **_**that**_** out until later. He has no idea that Derek likes Casey.**

**Hmm… yeah, that's all I wanted to say. I feel kind of so-so about this chapter. Like… I don't hate it, but it's definitely not my favorite either. You know? Blah.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!**

**Don't forget to review! I'll love you forever!**

**REVIEW!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	9. Lovers’ Quarrel

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Alright, so first of all, I'd just like to start out by saying that I am EXTREMELY happy right now. Why? Because of you guys. Thanks to you, I have officially reached over 100 reviews - that's a record for me! And I'm not even done the fic yet, so… yay! Thank you SO much. I couldn't have done it without you, and for that, this chapter's for you.

Enjoy!

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Lovers' Quarrel**_

X

_(Dream Sequence)_

--

**With the blinds drawn and the lights dim, they sat on the edge of her bed kissing with more passion than they ever had before. She gripped the back of his neck painfully as their mouths melded together, but he didn't care. He was too busy weaving his fingers through her hair and working her lips into a swollen frenzy to notice.**

**The house was empty. Everyone else - their parents and Marti - had gone out for dinner and weren't expected to be back for another two hours, so they had the entire house to themselves for once, and in light of their luck, they'd decided to take their favorite activity to her bedroom.**

**After all, the Games Closet was becoming far too small. They could hardly fit in it anymore without being practically squished against one another… not that either of them minded, of course.**

**Breaking the kiss for oxygen, Lizzie slid back towards her pillows until her back met the headboard. She smiled lazily at her boyfriend and beckoned him forward with her index finger, her eyes twinkling mischievously. He smirked and obliged, crawling towards her with a predatory look in his dark eyes that left her weak in the knees, and she couldn't help but feel glad that they were in her room and not in the Games Closet - otherwise, she would've probably collapsed.**

**"You're so beautiful…" He murmured, once he was hovering above her. "So, **_**so**_** beautiful…"**

**She smiled up at him.**

**"You're quite the catch yourself, Edwin Venturi."**

**He grinned, and for a brief moment, he looked like his old self again - an awkward tween with pudgy cheeks and next to no backbone. Then, the look was gone, and she found herself gazing up into the face of the young adult he'd become, and her heart skipped a beat.**

**She bit her lip.**

**"Edwin, I…" She started, but trailed off and glanced away.**

**She couldn't do it.**

**She **_**couldn't**_**.**

**"What is it?" The dark-haired teen asked, reaching out and caressing the side of her face.**

**She looked at him.**

**"It's just… I…"**

_**'I love you!'**_** Her mind screamed, but those same words - those three sacred, yet dangerous words - just wouldn't come out.**

**"I…" she tried again, but she still couldn't bring herself to say it, and instead, said, "I care about you. You know that, right?"**

**Edwin grinned.**

**"Of course." He said. "You tell me all the time, and I… I care about you too."**

_**'But… do you love me?'**_** Her mind wondered. **_**'Do you love me like I love you?'**_

**"Now… where were we?"**

**Before the young McDonald could comprehend what was going on, Edwin's mouth had latched onto the crook of her neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh there and eliciting a gasp from her lips. Instinctively, her head rolled back, giving him more access while she squeezed her eyes shut and laced her fingers through his dark hair, her nails digging sharply into his scalp and making him groan and jerk forward, effectively grinding his hips against hers.**

**An overwhelming feeling of desire - unlike anything she'd ever felt before - washed over Lizzie, and a soft moan escaped her. Edwin quickly pulled back to see if she was alright, only to be yanked back down and have his lips claimed by the young woman beneath him.**

**When they broke away, she was panting heavily, her cheeks flushed and her eyes glazed over with lust.**

**"I want you."**

--

_(End Dream Sequence)_

--

X

_Beep… beep… beep…_

Lizzie jolted awake, inhaling sharply as she sat up and stared, wide-eyed, at the bookshelf across from her.

She could feel her heart beating rapidly against her chest, and after leaning across the bed to shut off her alarm, she fell back against her pillows and brought her index and middle fingers to her neck and felt her pulse buzzing in sync with her heart. All the while, she stared up at the ceiling, a permanent frown on her face as she recalled the dream and tried to make sense of it.

Of course, it wasn't the first time she'd dreamt about her and Edwin in that sort of situation. She'd been having those kinds of dreams for months, but it'd never been _that_ explicit before, and it had certainly never felt that… _real_. That's what made her particularly uneasy. It'd been far too real for her liking, especially the whole ordeal with her dream-self actually _loving_ Edwin. That wasn't to say that she _didn't_ love him - she did, but it was more of an unconditional love, like the kind of love she felt for Casey and her mom and dad and Marti and George… hell, even Derek. However, in her dream, it was as if her dream-self were actually _in_ love with Edwin, and for some reason, that scared her.

She wasn't _in love_ with Edwin.

That was just absurd!

It was almost as ridiculous as the possibility of Edwin being in love with _her_.

Preposterous!

Her and Edwin's relationship was simply friendship and business, built on negotiation and a sort of "you scratch my back and I scratch yours" policy.

And as for their relationship behind closed doors?

Convenience.

That's all.

Sure, he asked her to be his girlfriend and they went out on a date, but that didn't mean anything. They were merely experimenting. That's all.

They were _not_, by any means, in love with one another.

"Lizzie!" Nora's voice called out from behind the door, snapping the tween out of her reverie. "Lizzie, are you awake yet?"

"Yeah!" Lizzie shouted back. "I'm awake!"

"Then get ready and come down for breakfast!"

In order to get her mind off things - particularly the dream - Lizzie did just that.

X

Breakfast was awkward, to say the least, and Edwin couldn't help but feel rather confused when Lizzie didn't say a word to him all morning. In fact, it almost felt as if she were avoiding him. She talked to everyone _but_ him and refused to look him in the eye, and every time their eyes _did_ manage to meet, the color would quickly drain from her face and she'd start stammering.

Suspicious?

Absolutely.

Not to mention frustrating, especially since he _needed_ to talk to her - to tell her about Derek. Unfortunately, every time he got her alone, they were always interrupted.

So, needless to say, he spent the majority of his Saturday in his bedroom. _Alone_.

However, at around 4:30 in the afternoon, Nora barged into his room and announced that they were all going out to dinner and told him that he had five minutes to change out of his pajamas and into something decent because they were going to an expensive restaurant.

Coincidentally, it was the same buffet-restaurant that he and Lizzie had first met.

X

"What's with you?"

At the sound of Edwin's voice, Lizzie stiffened, her grip on her plate of vegetables tightening immensely before she slowly, and hesitantly, turned around to face him.

"What do you mean?" She asked, purposely playing dumb in hopes that he'd just take it and leave.

He didn't.

Instead, Edwin frowned and took a step forward.

"Don't play stupid, Liz." He said. "You've been avoiding me all day and you know it. What I want to know is… why? _Why_ are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong? Is it because of the fight? Did -"

"Shut up." Lizzie cut him off. "It's none of those things."

"Then _why_?" asked Edwin.

"I… I can't tell you."

"Why not? We're boyfriend and girlfriend! We're supposed to trust each other and tell each other everything! We - mmph!"

Lizzie clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Could you _be_ any louder?" She hissed, before tearing her hand away.

Edwin stared at her.

"Sorry." He murmured. "I just… why can't you tell me?"

"Because!"

"'Because' isn't an answer!"

"Is so!"

"Is not!"

"Is _so_!"

"Is _not_!"

"You know what? I don't have to deal with this." Lizzie huffed, whipping around in order to make her way back to their table, but before she could, Edwin's next comment stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Are you on your period? Is that it?"

A resounding _**CRACK**_ echoed throughout the restaurant. People stopped whatever it was they were doing and glanced over, mouths agape as they watched a young girl - no older than twelve - storm off and disappear into the lavatory, leaving a young boy around the same age, standing in the middle of the buffet floor with a red mark - in the shape of a handprint - on his face.

Then, they went back to minding their own business.

Meanwhile, Edwin heard chuckling from behind him and turned around to find Derek standing there, his mouth full of shrimp as he tried to keep his laughter under control.

"What's wrong?" The older Venturi teased. "Did you two have your first 'Lovers' Quarrel'?"

Edwin promptly glared at him.

"Shut up." He muttered, before making his way back over to their table.

How he was going to explain _this_ one to the 'rents was completely beyond him…

X

**And that's the end of chapter 9. Once again, I had an idea for this chapter and it just sort of… morphed into something else as I wrote. Weird how things like that work, eh?**

**Anyways, I don't really know what to make of this chapter, but I hope you guys enjoy. It'll be my last update for a while - two or three weeks, I mean - since exams are coming up and I have to study. After that, though, I'll be free to write as I please all summer long, so I'm looking forward to that.**

**Oh, and in case you're all wondering… Lizzie's dream-self and dream-Edwin are older in her dream. That's part of the reason why it was so explicit and why she felt so awkward. The other reasons will be explained later on.**

Also, once again, I would like to thank each and every one of you guys for all the reviews and support! It truly means a lot to me, so I hope you continue reading!

**Please ****review****!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	10. New Territory

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. Or **Monopoly**. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Holy crap. Has it really been nearly a month since my last update? Huh. Sure doesn't feel like it. Ah, well, nothing I can do about it except apologize and make up for it with THIS chapter.

**IMPORTANT:** This chapter is a bit… umm… explicit, so… I think I'll rate it **14A**. It's not bad enough to bump it up to **M**, but it's still… you know. A bit higher than just **T**, haha.

Enjoy!

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**New Territory**_

X

Okay, so maybe she was a little harsh.

And _maybe_ - just maybe - she overreacted a bit, but really, Edwin totally had it coming. He'd been living with the McDonald women for a little over a year and should've known by now to never blame a girl's sudden change in behavior (AKA: moodswings) on her period. It was common knowledge. So, in retrospect, he totally deserved the slap for being a complete moron.

However, Lizzie mused as she tore her gaze away from the window and peered over at Edwin, who was currently sitting on the other side of Marti in the Prince; she couldn't help but feel a tad bit guilty. After all, it wasn't Edwin's fault that he was utterly incompetent when it came to the fairer sex.

It was the fact that he was a guy in general that made him so ridiculously incompetent.

Men were not programmed to know a woman's thoughts and feelings - though the latter _really_ wished they were. It would make things _so_ much easier. But alas, it was not meant to be. Add that to the fact that Edwin was not only socially awkward, but also the pubescent middle child of the Venturi-McDonald clan whose wants and needs, much like her own, were often pushed aside to make room for their elder siblings' own selfish wants and needs, and well… his incompetence was to be expected.

Having Derek - cool, collected, confident macho manwhore Derek Venturi - as an older brother didn't help matters either. If anything, it made matters worse.

It was painfully clear that Edwin wanted nothing more than to be like Derek, but it wasn't going to happen. He tried too hard sometimes, which, on more than one occasion, had resulted in quite an unpleasant outcome. Fortunately, he appeared to be getting better - at _not_ trying to imitate everything Derek did, that was.

Still, even though Edwin wasn't following Derek around like a lost puppy anymore, taking his verbal abuse, being almost slavishly loyal to him and doing his bidding - however mean and cruel it was - in order to gain his older brother's approval and be exactly like him, Lizzie knew - even though he did a fairly good job at hiding it - that Edwin secretly still wanted Derek's approval. Particularly when it came to girls; an area in which Derek thrived in, but Edwin failed miserably.

Try as he might, Edwin could never be like Derek. They might've had the same DNA, sure, but that didn't matter. They were two very distinct personalities. Derek was more of an extrovert - he was loud and outgoing, popular, always surrounded by friends, confident, short-tempered, very impulsive and almost never thought about the consequences before committing the actions. Edwin, on the other hand, was the polar opposite; whereas Derek was an extrovert, _he_ was undoubtedly an introvert - unless in his comfort zone. He was a lot more calm and reserved than Derek, often quiet unless someone (usually Lizzie herself, or one of his friends) engaged him in a conversation, a bit of a dork, highly intelligent (which wasn't to say that Derek _wasn't_, because he most certainly _was_, but Edwin was more open about the fact that he was smart) - hello, he balanced their parents' checkbook! - and, well, weird. Not to mention that, unlike Derek, _he_ took the time to think things through.

Another thing that separated them was their sense of humor. Sure, they were both funny, but for entirely different reasons.

Derek found humor at the expense of others and their misfortune, while Edwin found humor in a much more self-deprecating way - at the expense of _himself_. Usually. There were some exceptions in which he'd made a couple of jokes at Derek's expense if he'd been particularly overbearing, but he had a tendency to avoid those rare occasions - especially since Derek was bigger than him and would often torment him for days afterwards.

Finally, and probably most importantly, was the fact that Edwin lacked something that Derek always had and always wore on his sleeve: confidence.

Which was precisely why he ended up looking like a bumbling idiot whenever he tried acting like _Derek_ around girls.

So, in essence, it wasn't really Edwin's fault, Lizzie concluded as George pulled into the driveway.

_'I should apologize.'_ She thought, hopping out of the Prince and slowly making her way over to the front door, which Derek had left wide open in his hurry to get inside and steal the remote before Casey had a chance to. _'I really should.'_

She was about to do just that when her mom called her into the kitchen to put the leftovers - which Derek would probably eat later that night while watching his hockey game - in the refrigerator. Lizzie reluctantly did so before returning to the living room, where she wasn't at all surprised to find Derek and Casey playing a game of _Tug-of-War_ over the remote, while Marti looked on in sheer amusement. George just rolled his eyes at the scene and disappeared into the kitchen. It was then that Lizzie realized that her boyfriend was M.I.A.

"Where's Edwin?" She asked.

Neither Derek nor Casey heard her; they were far too busy fighting over the remote. Marti did, though, and tore her eyes away from their feuding siblings to look at Lizzie.

"In his room. He said he wasn't feeling good." She said. "Daphne says he's lying, though. She thinks he's in one of his moods and is just using that excuse to be alone."

Lizzie couldn't help but smile. Marti (or Daphne. Either way) was a lot more observant than she let on.

"Okay then," she said. "I think I'll retire for the night too, then."

She said nothing more as she bounded up the stairs and to her room.

Marti watched Lizzie's retreating back with skeptical eyes until she left her field of vision, before a buzzing sensation near her ear caused her to furrow her brow and suddenly jerk her head to the left.

"You're right, Daphne!" She exclaimed. "It _is_ too early for bed!"

"What was that, Smarti?" Derek called out, pausing his fight with Casey by holding the remote out of her reach and glancing over at his younger sister.

Marti looked over.

"Nothing, Smerek!" She replied, smiling innocently before skipping off to go play Hide-and-Seek with herself.

Derek just shrugged and resumed his fight with Casey.

X

Another envelope.

It'd been at least three hours since his and Lizzie's fight - or 'Lovers' Quarrel' as Derek had so kindly put it - at the restaurant, and the first thing Edwin noticed as soon as he woke up from his half-hour nap was a familiar brown envelope, addressed to him, sitting on his bedside table.

His lips curled into a small grimace. There was only _one_ person he knew who contacted him via envelope, and that was Lizzie, but as far as he knew, she was still mad at him for what had happened at the restaurant.

So why had she left the envelope? It seemed too early to be on speaking terms again.

Well, there was only one way to find out…

Edwin wasted no time as he tore open the envelope and pulled out the note that he knew would be inside, and sure enough, he was right.

Turning the note over, he read.

_**Edwin -**_

_**We need to talk. Meet me in the Games Closet as soon as you read this.**_

_**- Lizzie**_

Edwin furrowed his brow.

"As soon as I read this?" He repeated, confused, before realization dawned on him. "Crap! Lizzie!"

X

Less than five minutes later, Edwin found himself sequestered in the Games Closet with Lizzie, which wasn't at all uncommon - especially after everything that had happened in the last month or so - but given what'd happened at the restaurant… it was all just very awkward. Not to mention tense. It was as if the two of them were walking on eggshells; neither one of them had spoken since Edwin had barreled in five minutes before, apologizing repeatedly for being late, and it didn't seem like they were about to anytime soon.

Eventually, however, the silence became too much for Edwin, and he decided to break it.

"So… umm… how long were you waiting?" He asked.

Lizzie shrugged.

"A while." She replied casually, shifting her weight from one foot and onto the other.

"Oh."

Edwin wanted to say more, but didn't know what else to say.

"Don't worry about it, though." Lizzie told him.

"Oh… umm… okay." Edwin cleared his throat nervously before changing the subject and asking the one question they were both dreading, "So… uh… what did you want to talk about?"

Lizzie glanced up, opening her mouth to say something, but then shut it and averted her gaze. This action was repeated about four more times before she paused to take a deep breath, and finally spoke.

"I…" She started, trailing off and allowing her eyes to wander around the dimly-lit closet before bringing her gaze back to his, "I think… back at the restaurant… I think I might've overreacted a little."

"You _think_?" Edwin echoed, earning a sharp glare in return. He just motioned his right cheek, which still stung like a mother, and was currently sporting a nasty red handprint. Lizzie's expression softened almost instantly; the guilt in her eyes evident.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, looking down at her feet. "Does it hurt?"

"A little." Edwin replied. "But not as bad as the black eye Teddy gave me."

"Listen," Lizzie went on, looking up again. "I just wanted to let you know that I _am_ sorry for slapping you. I had no right to do that, and I have every intention of making it up to you."

"It's okay, Liz. You don't need to apologize. I deserved the slap. I shouldn't have accused you of… well… you know…" Edwin trailed off, blushing profusely before continuing. "It's just… you were avoiding me all day and I didn't know why. I dunno. I guess I just got upset… and when you denied it… I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. I'm sorry, Liz, but… I'm not as stupid as you think."

"I know you're not." Lizzie replied, smiling weakly. "You're one of the smartest people I've ever met."

Edwin's face lit up.

"Really?" He asked, beaming.

Lizzie nodded.

"Really." She confirmed. "And… you were right. I _was_ avoiding you."

The smile immediately disappeared from Edwin's face, and he dropped his gaze.

"Why, though?" He asked. "Was it something I did wrong? Was it because I fought Teddy? I -"

"I'll tell you about it later. I promise." Lizzie said, cutting him off. "Right now, we don't have much time. Mom and George are bound to come and check up on us soon, and I still need to make up for slapping you."

Edwin raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"What do you - mmph!"

He was silenced when Lizzie's lips captured his own in a forceful and almost bruising kiss that left him completely breathless and paralyzed with shock, his arms stiff at his sides and the rest of his body too stunned to react. Eventually, however, Edwin regained his composure, wrapping his arms securely around his girlfriend's waist and kissing her back with just as much force, eliciting a pleased squeal from her.

They kissed for what seemed like eternity, only parting every couple of minutes for air, before quickly resuming where they left off.

Edwin didn't know how long they were kissing for - nor did he care - but he was slightly disappointed when Lizzie suddenly pulled away and took a step back, catching her breath. About a minute or two later, she glanced up.

"I want to try something." She said. "Is that alright with you?"

"U-umm… o-okay…" Edwin stammered, not entirely sure what he was in for.

Lizzie chewed at her bottom lip nervously before moving her hands up to grasp his shoulders tightly, and leaning forward to plant a small, chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth before trailing her lips down his jaw; then down his neck. She stopped when she reached a sensitive area that made Edwin inhale sharply, and backtracked, causing him to gasp. Lizzie smiled to herself, satisfied with his reaction, and decided to experiment a little by letting her tongue dart out and taste him.

Meanwhile, Edwin was in complete bliss. He noted that his breathing was quickly becoming more and more labored, and his eyelids kept fluttering. Tilting his head back, he provided Lizzie with even more access to his neck, which she gladly took advantage of by attacking his adam's apple.

"Ah… ah… Liz… I… uh… AH!" He gasped when she nipped softly at his flesh, and pulled her flush against him.

He was positive that she could feel his arousal, despite the layers of clothing between them, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Whatever she was doing felt too good, and it only kept getting better, especially when she began nibbling and sucking at his skin. His eyes rolled back and he fell against the shelves behind him, accidentally knocking over _Monopoly_ as he threw his head back and tried not to shout. Strange sounds were starting to emit from his throat and he couldn't stop them; all he could do was drown in the pleasure Lizzie was giving him.

Then, suddenly, it was over.

Lizzie pulled away, smiling at her handiwork, and Edwin dared to crack open his eyes.

"Where…" he breathed, "Where the _hell_ did you learn that?"

Lizzie looked away, her face heating up.

"I read it in one of Casey's magazines once." She confessed, blushing deeply as she remembered some of the _other_ things she'd read about how to 'please' her man. She hesitantly lifted her head to meet his gaze. "Did you like it?"

Edwin shot her an incredulous look.

"Uh, _yeah_." He replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Lizzie smiled, eying the purpling mark on his neck before licking her lips and glancing back up at him.

"Want me to keep going?"

Edwin opened his mouth to reply, but was once again silenced by his step-sister's lips. This time, however, he wasn't shocked. He knew what to do, and with that in mind, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. All logic and morals instantly vanished from his head; all he cared about was feeling her body against his.

He could feel her fingers begin to entangle themselves in his hair as the kiss deepened and became more passionate. He was still getting used to the feeling of her tongue in his mouth, but it wasn't as weird or foreign as it'd been the first few times - it actually felt quite nice after a while. He didn't have much time to think about _that_, though, when Lizzie's hips suddenly ground against his, making him groan into her mouth.

It was then that he realized just how _painfully_ turned on he was, but Lizzie didn't seem to notice, and if she did, she was a bloody sadist and _he_ was a freakin' masochist for letting her get away with it. Still, it was becoming far too much to bear, so he quickly pulled away, completely flushed and panting heavily.

Lizzie, equally flushed, bit her lip.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay," Edwin assured her, still a bit delirious from the heated make out session.

When his breathing was back to normal, he made a move to leave, but Lizzie stopped him, grabbing his arm and pulling him back.

"Where are you going?" She asked, a look of worry flashing across her face. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No… no… it's not that… I… I just need to fix something… I'll be back in a minute." He tried to pull his arm out of her vice-like grip, but that only made her tighten her hold on him.

"Wait!" She said. "What do you need to fix? Maybe I can help!"

Edwin almost choked on air at the thought of Lizzie 'helping' him with his… problem. He could feel the heat gathering in his face, and elsewhere, as he shook his head frantically.

"Uh… no… I… I think I can handle it on my own." He squeaked. "But… I'll be right back. Just wait here, okay?"

Lizzie reluctantly let him go, and Edwin kissed her on the cheek before opening the closet door and making a beeline to the bathroom, leaving a very confused McDonald behind.

X

Moments later, Edwin emerged from the bathroom with a content grin plastered on his face.

He was about to make his way back to the Games Closet, just as promised, when he heard someone clear their throat from behind him. Whirling around, Edwin was somewhat startled to find Derek standing there, leaning against the wall just outside his bedroom door with his arms folded across his chest and a stoic expression on his face. The latter unnerved the younger Venturi, and he couldn't help but squirm a little under his brother's piercing gaze.

Edwin didn't know how long they stood there like that, staring at one another, but he was relieved when Derek finally uncrossed and lowered his arms - only to be thrust back into confusion once more when the elder of the two began to clap.

Slowly. Loudly. Echoing through the upstairs hallway.

It was the sort of clapping that usually triggered standing ovations, but given the fact that there were no other people around, Edwin doubted that _that_ was what his brother was trying to accomplish.

"_What_?" He finally snapped, exasperated.

His outburst caused Derek to crack a smirk, and the familiar mischievous gleam returned to his dark eyes, but at last he'd stopped clapping.

"Temper, temper." He sneered, before his entire persona changed. "Well, well, little bro. I see you've survived your first make out session. Congrats."

"Uh… thanks?" Edwin wasn't entirely sure if he was being sincere or not. "But how -"

"- did I know?" Derek finished. He snorted. "Well, jeez, you two were being loud enough." Laughing, he proceeded to imitate Edwin. "'Ah… ah… Liz… oh! Oh! Don't stop, Lizzie!'" He laughed again. "Jeez, you'd think you were having sex or something… it sounded like you were on the brink of an orgasm."

Edwin wasn't listening, though. He hadn't even registered that Derek was making fun of him - he was too busy trying to control his breathing and keep himself from hyperventilating.

"W-what did you say?" He stammered, his voice cracking.

Derek stopped laughing to look questioningly at his protégée - ahem. Younger brother.

"Uh… that you sounded on the brink of orgasm?" He repeated.

"No, stupid! The other thing!" Edwin snapped, not realizing what he'd just said.

It was most likely Edwin's frantic, horrified, ghostly-white expression that made Derek reconsider kicking the snot out of him for insulting _him_ - the great Derek Venturi!

"I said a lot of things, Ed. You'll have to be more specific." He said flatly.

"You said… you said you heard us!" Edwin hissed. "From _where_? Downstairs?"

Because if _that_ was true… then that meant everyone else had heard as well.

Derek quickly caught onto his brother's dilemma.

"What? No! No! I meant from up here!" He laughed, watching as the color slowly returned to Edwin's face. "The 'rents were making popcorn and then we were all going to watch a movie. They wanted to know if you two were up for it, so I volunteered to come up and ask. That's when I heard you guys." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "You're lucky it was me, though, and not Dad or Nora. Or Casey, for that matter." He ruffled Edwin's hair. "Don't worry, though. I've got your back. I told the 'rents that you two were out like a light."

"You did?" asked Edwin, in awe at his brother's almost uncharacteristic behavior.

"Yeah." Derek replied. "Speaking of which, you might want to hide that hickey before Dad or Nora sees it. I'll try to steal some of Casey's cover-up for you, but if I can't, just wear a scarf or something."

Edwin nodded.

"Alright." He said. "Listen, though… I told Lizzie I'd be back after I -"

"Finished jacking off?" Derek chimed in, grinning innocently.

Edwin narrowed his eyes.

"Well, that's not what I told her, but… yeah." He said. "So… can I…?" He made a few motions down the hall.

"Of course, of course." Derek replied.

"Thanks, Bro."

Edwin was about to head back to the Games Closet when Derek, once again, stopped him.

"Wait. Before you go, I forgot to mention…" Edwin turned back to face his brother as he went on, "Well, Liz is like a little sister to me, and I feel obliged to tell you that… if you hurt her, I'll kill you. Got it? No taking advantage of her, either. I don't care if it's convenient!"

Edwin stared dumbly at Derek.

_'Take advantage of_ her_?'_ He thought. _'What about when _she _takes advantage of_ me_?'_

He decided that arguing with Derek about the issue would be in vain, however, and just nodded before turning around and making a mad dash back to the Games Closet.

X

"Took you long enough." Lizzie muttered impatiently, as soon as her step-brother entered the closet. "It's been twenty minutes!"

Edwin grinned sheepishly at her.

"Sorry, Liz." He said, scratching the back of his head. "The… uh… _problem_… took a little longer to fix than I expected. Forgive me?" He gave her puppy-dog eyes, and although they weren't as cute as Marti's… they still made her smile.

She sighed dramatically.

"Oh, I suppose." She said. "If, of course…"

"If…?" Edwin urged.

Lizzie smiled at him.

"If you kiss me again."

Edwin gladly obliged.

X

**See kids? Communication is key!**

**I do believe that's the longest chapter I've ever written so far… but I could be wrong. You never know. I suppose I'll find out when I upload it. I decided to make this chapter especially long to make up for the previous update, which was kind of short, and also, because I'm going away for a week - starting this upcoming Monday. I'll be vacationing with the rest of my family, and as far as I know, I won't be anywhere near a computer. However, that's the only time I'll be away this summer.**

**Moving on, I know this chapter was kind of… umm… explicit, for lack of a better word, which is why I bumped the rating up a bit for this chapter. I assure you, though, that this is the **_**only**_** chapter that will be like this. After this chapter, everything will go back to a **T **rating… except maybe the end. But it won't be Lizwin. They're too young. I won't tell you which pairing, though, cause I'm mean like that. Bwuahaha!**

**Apart that I feel that I made Lizzie's description of Edwin in the beginning a little too OOC, and the fact that the make out scene was a bit too explicit for their age, I was actually quite pleased with how this chapter came out, and I really hope you guys are too.**

**That's pretty much all I have to say.**

**Please, leave a ****REVIEW****. They make me a happy authoress, and a happy authoress means quicker updates!**

**Thank you.**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	11. Star Crossed Lovers?

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. _Danny Phantom_, _Naruto_ or **Cheerios**. I also don't own _**Axe**_ or _Romeo and Juliet_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Wow. I think I received more reviews on that last chapter than any other chapter in the fic. A new record, perhaps? Seriously awesome, though. Thanks SO much, you guys. I really hope you enjoy this chapter too.

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Star-Crossed Lovers?**_

X

"Are you guys _sure_ you'll be okay?"

Lizzie rolled her eyes for what seemed like the umpteenth time that morning as she watched her mother bustle around the kitchen, hastily preparing and packing last-minute lunches (something she'd carelessly forgotten to do the night before like she'd originally planned) while, at the same time, frantically searching for the car keys that she'd misplaced.

"We'll be fine, Mom." Lizzie kept trying to reassure her, but Nora just wouldn't have any of it.

"But _Lizzie_!" She exclaimed. "We've never left you guys home alone for more than two hours, before! What if something bad happens while we're gone? What if a burglar breaks in or _worse_ - a rapist!"

"In the middle of the day, Nora?" Derek laughed disbelievingly as he entered the kitchen and headed straight for the fridge. "Highly unlikely. But even in the event that either of those scenarios _did_ happen… Lizzie's got her mad Tae Kwon Do skills at her disposal. The burglar and/or rapist wouldn't stand a chance. Right, Liz?"

"Right." Lizzie agreed. "Besides, we're not kids anymore. We're thirteen, and we're perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves."

"Well, actually… _Edwin's_ thirteen." Casey interjected, appearing across from her younger sister. "_You're_ still twelve."

"And a half!" Lizzie reminded her.

"Tsk, tsk, Spacey. And you say _I'm_ a bad sibling? At least I know my brother and sister's _exact_ ages…"

"Shut _up_, Derek!"

"Looks like _someone's_ cranky today!"

"DER-"

"Both of you, be quiet! Has _anyone_ seen my keys?"

"They're right here, Mom."

"Oh. Thank you, Lizzie." A pause. "Are you guys sure you don't want to come with us? I mean, Aunt Fiona and Vicky -"

"Victoria." Derek, Casey and Lizzie corrected in unison.

"Right," Nora remembered. "She's _Victoria_ now. How could I forget?" She laughed nervously at her own forgetfulness before continuing, "But as I was saying… they haven't seen you since the wedding. That was almost two years ago! Don't you want to visit them?"

Lizzie sighed loudly in exasperation and pushed aside her bowl of _Cheerios_.

"You know, as much as Edwin and I would _love_ to visit them…" she began, lying through her teeth as she did so, "… we can't. I already promised to help him catch up with all the homework he missed out on. He goes back to school _tomorrow_, in case you forgot."

That last part was actually true, though.

Kind of.

"Speaking of Edwin… where _is_ the little weasel?" Derek asked, looking around. "I haven't seen him all morning."

"He's probably still asleep." Lizzie replied. "We were up till 3:30 trying to get some of his work done, but… we got distracted."

Derek snorted, but when Casey and Nora glanced his way, he started coughing so as to not arouse any suspicion. He stopped when they finally looked away and turned back to face Lizzie just as Casey spoke up.

"We'll only be gone a few hours." She reasoned. "And besides, I think Edwin and Lizzie are old enough to be left home alone by now. After all, I was _nine_ when you started leaving me home alone."

"Yes, but that's different!" Nora protested.

"How so?" asked Casey.

Nora opened her mouth to answer, but was cut off when the side door swung open and George and Marti walked in.

"Is everyone ready to go?" He asked.

"Yes," his wife replied, handing him their lunches. "Just take these to the car and we'll be right out."

George nodded and did as he was told, while Marti and Casey followed closely behind.

Nora turned back to face her youngest daughter.

"Goodbye, Lizard. We'll see you in a few hours." She said, kissing Lizzie on the cheek. "Pass that on to Edwin too, okay?"

"Okay, Mom. I will."

Nora smiled down at her and hugged her before turning around and making her way out of the house. This left Lizzie and Derek alone in the kitchen, and as soon as his step-mother was out of earshot, the latter began to chuckle hysterically to himself. Lizzie didn't say anything as his chuckles grew louder and louder, but she _did_ raise a questioning eyebrow at him as if to question his sanity, which eventually shut him up.

Finishing off the last of the milk, the elder of the two placed the empty carton on the counter and proceeded to pop up his collar as he walked over to the door, but before he actually _left_, he paused to bid his step-sister farewell in the most Derek-y fashion possible.

"See you later, Liz." He said. "And remember to keep it PG-13."

He was gone before she could reply, but despite his absence, Lizzie's complexion remained a ghostly pale as she gaped in shock at the spot he'd stood in just seconds before, while millions of questions raced through her adolescent mind; the most prominent one being:

_'Does he _know_?'_

She had very little time to dwell on the matter, however, as the grandfather clock in the living room chimed loudly, interrupting her thoughts and letting her know that an hour had passed since she'd woken up.

She sighed and shook her head, and after putting her empty bowl in the sink, she made her way into the living room and collapsed on the couch, where she then flipped on the TV and waited for her boyfriend to awake from his slumber.

Fortunately, she didn't have to wait long.

About fifteen minutes into _Danny Phantom_, the sound of feet stampeding down the stairs alerted her that her boyfriend was finally awake, and she sat up just in time to see said boyfriend reach the landing, still clad in his pajamas and probably very unaware that his hair was disheveled and sticking out in random directions. She smirked as he sauntered over to her and flopped down beside her on the couch.

"Where is everyone?" He asked groggily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"You just missed them." Lizzie replied. "They left about twenty minutes ago. Nice bed-head, by the way."

Edwin grinned sheepishly as he reached up and tried to pat it down, but with little success. The mini-'fro was there to stay… at least until he took a shower.

"You know you love it." He teased.

"Of course I do." Lizzie replied. "It's cute."

"_Cute_?" Edwin repeated, feigning horror. "Imagine that. My own girlfriend taking a cheap shot at my masculinity. How cruel."

Lizzie rolled her eyes and reached over to smack him upside the head.

"Don't be so dramatic."

Edwin stuck his tongue out at her, but said no more. Instead, he allowed his attention to be drawn to the television, and for the next little while, he and Lizzie just sat in silence and watched, even though neither tween was particularly interested in it.

It wasn't until the ending credits came up, however, that Edwin remembered something and glanced over at his step-sister.

"So, let me get this straight…" he said, as Lizzie turned to face him and gave him her undivided attention. "We have the entire house to ourselves for…" he paused briefly to count his fingers under his breath before exclaiming, "_FIVE HOURS_?"

"Yep."

"Really, now?" Edwin said, and he couldn't help but smirk as he shifted closer to his girlfriend and wrapped his arms around her. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's get down to business, shall we? Practice makes perfect, after all."

He leaned forward to kiss her, but stopped when his lips came into contact with the palm of her hand instead of her mouth. Drawing back, he couldn't help but furrow his brow in confusion.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing's wrong." Lizzie assured him. "I just don't want you kissing me until you brush your teeth. Your breath stinks."

Edwin stared at her incredulously.

"Are you _serious_?"

"Very. Now go brush your teeth." Lizzie ordered.

"But… but I don't want to!"

"_DO IT_!"

"Yes, Lizzie…"

And reluctantly, Edwin stood up and disappeared up the stairs to do just that.

X

Much to Edwin's immense disappointment, Lizzie still wouldn't kiss him even after he'd brushed his teeth, taken a shower, combed his hair, thrown on a decent enough outfit _and_ sprayed on a little _**Axe**_ in hopes that it would somehow trigger her pheromones and make her want to jump him like the girls in the commercials. Or, at the very least, make her swoon when he came within ten feet of her.

No such luck, unfortunately.

It seemed that all Lizzie wanted to do was help him finish his homework. She was under the (clearly false) impression that kissing - even the tiniest little peck - would only distract them and make them lose track of time, and although Edwin admired her sensible nature, he couldn't help but feel a little… annoyed.

_'Distract us? As if!'_

Besides, _not_ kissing her was driving him positively crazy, and if he didn't get to soon, he didn't know _what_ he'd do.

"_Lizzie_," he begged, "can we _please_ take a break? We've been working on this for three and a half hours! My wrist is killing me!"

"_Your_ wrist?" Lizzie repeated, shooting him a disbelieving look. "_I've_ been doing all the writing!"

"Did I say 'wrist'? I meant… brain." Edwin quickly amended. "My brain hurts, and if we don't take a break ASAP, it's going to implode. Do you really want _that_ on your conscience for the rest of your life?"

Lizzie promptly scoffed at this, but didn't object to his suggestion. Instead, she pushed away all of the paper and textbooks littering the coffee table, and sat back, massaging her wrist as she did so.

"Okay," she said. "A break sounds good. So, what do you want to do?"

"Oh, I think you know _exactly_ what I want to do, Liz." Edwin replied, reaching over and tugging her closer to him.

"Edwin, _no_!" She protested, turning her head when he tried to kiss her. "Kissing will only distract us! Remember what happened yesterday?"

Edwin's lips grazed her cheek briefly before he pulled back and smirked.

"Of course." He said. "How could I forget? I had about ten hickeys staring me in the face when I woke up."

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy it."

"Au contraire, Lizzie… I did. Very much so." Edwin assured her, his smirk never once leaving his face. "So feel free to do it again, because neither myself nor 'Little Edwin' will object to that talented little mouth of yours."

Lizzie scowled.

"Unbelievable. It seems I've made a sexual deviant out of you."

"Oh, I don't mind."

"Of course _you_ don't. But _I_ do. All of this time together has made you far too smug for your own good." She sighed. "I think I might have to punish you for that."

Edwin's eyebrows threatened to disappear into his hairline as soon as the words left her lips, and in an instant, his mind was bombarded with a number of not-so-innocent mental images; the majority of which consisted of Lizzie clad in tight black leather and brandishing a whip.

He shuddered at the thought and shook his head frantically in a vain attempt to _erase_ those mental images, and then cursed Derek's secret porn stash for corrupting his mind and allowing him to envision such things in the first place.

He looked back at his girlfriend.

"Exactly what kind of 'punishment' did you have in mind? Because I don't think I like the idea of being shackled to a wall while you whip me."

Lizzie stared incredulously at him for a moment, and then threw up her hands in frustration.

"You are _such_ a pervert, Edwin Venturi!" She snapped. "And just for that? I'm never gonna kiss you again!"

"_WHAT_?" Edwin cried, his mouth hanging open in shock as he watched, horrified, as Lizzie stood up (with her arms folded across her chest; a clear indication that she was _pissed_) and stormed over to the staircase in a fit of rage. "No! You can't! That's - ah! Lizzie, stop! I'm sorry, okay? I was just kidding around! I wasn't actually serious when I -"

His apology was cut short by the sound of laughter. _Lizzie's_ laughter.

He gaped at her when he realized what was going on.

She was laughing at him! That little…

"You should've seen the look on your face, Edwin!" Lizzie somehow managed between giggles. "It was priceless! Absolutely priceless!"

"You… you mean… you're not mad?"

"What? No!" Lizzie snorted. "I just wanted to see how you'd react."

Edwin glared.

"You're a cruel woman, Lizzie McDonald." He said, his eyes never leaving her as she walked back to the couch and sat down.

She grinned at him.

"Don't I know it."

With that said, she snatched the remote up and turned on the TV.

X

"Have you ever read '_Romeo and Juliet_'?"

The question was so random. So unexpected. So out of the blue that it caught Lizzie completely off guard and made her glance away from the television screen for the first time in thirty minutes to stare in surprise at the dark-haired teen beside her, who was looking at her expectantly as he awaited her reply.

"Umm… no…" She answered slowly. "I mean… I know the general concept, and I've seen the movie if that counts, but I haven't actually read it. Why? Have you?"

Edwin nodded.

"Yeah… I kind of had to." He admitted. "For Derek. Back when he was still a freshman in high school… in order to pass English, he had to write an essay on it, and he made _me_ stay up all night reading the play and writing the essay for him."

"And… you actually understood it?"

"Well, he passed the class, so…" Edwin trailed off, his eyes lingering on the TV screen momentarily before he tore his gaze away to look back at his step-sister. "Anyways… after everything that's been happening lately… and us being together… I dunno… it sort of got me thinking…"

"About?" Lizzie coaxed.

"We're sort of like them… when you think about it…" Edwin mused.

"Why do you say that?" Lizzie asked. "Are you having suicidal thoughts or something?"

"_No_. I just meant that… what we're doing seems kind of wrong. _Forbidden_, even. I mean, I know we're not really related or anything, but… can you imagine what would happen if dad and Nora ever found out? We'd be grounded for life. Or _worse_, we'd be separated… I'd most likely be sent to my mom's, and _you'd_ probably be sent away to live with your dad." He sighed and tilted his head back to stare up at the ceiling before he went on, "And like… when our families first moved in together? It was like World War III or something. But not for _us_. _We_ always got along for the most part… I mean, yeah, we had a few disputes here and there, but most of the time, things were good between us. Not with anyone else, though… so it was kind of like… instead of the Montagues versus the Capulets, it was the Venturis versus the McDonalds, and _we_ always got stuck in the middle like Romeo and Juliet." Edwin paused briefly to peer over at Lizzie to make sure she was still listening, and was delighted to find that she was before continuing. "You know?"

Lizzie didn't say anything at first. She seemed to be very deep in thought, trying to make sense of everything he'd said. Then, she shook her head and reached over to place her hand on his shoulder.

"I see what you're trying to say, Ed, but honestly… you shouldn't dwell on things like that." She said. "People might think you're weird."

…

…

"Lizzie… people already think I'm weird."

…

"Touché."

_"Believe it!"_

"Ugh! Edwin, why are we even watching this? This is so lame." Lizzie muttered, reaching across her step-brother's body to steal the remote.

"Hey! _Naruto_ is an awesome show!" Edwin protested, snatching the remote back.

"No! It's _stupid_!" Lizzie snapped, making a grab for the remote again, but Edwin quickly leapt off the couch and backed away from her, laughing as he did so.

Lizzie glared at him and stood up, moving towards him, but Edwin quickly whipped around and made a mad dash towards the kitchen. Lizzie ran in after him, and pretty soon, they were standing on opposite sides of the island. Edwin smirked at her and held up the remote for her to see, and she narrowed her eyes dangerously and attempted to jump over the island in order to get it back… but failed miserably, causing Edwin to burst into laughter before he ran back into the living room.

Luckily, he didn't get far.

He was about halfway to the couch when his girlfriend lunged at him and somehow managed to tackle him to the ground, which, in turn, knocked the wind out of him and made him see stars. And yet… somehow, he was still gripping the remote tightly in his grasp.

"Lizzie!" He wheezed, staring up at his step-sister in shock. "Get off! I can't breathe!"

"Give me the remote and I'll let you breathe!"

"No way!"

"Then I guess you're stuck with not being able to breathe." Lizzie replied simply, all the while pinning his wrists above his head and trying to pry the remote from his vice-like grip… but with little success.

She glared down at him in a feeble attempt at scaring him into releasing the remote, but he just grinned up at her, knowing full well that she wouldn't be able to get it from him anytime soon.

Unless…

A light bulb went off in her head, and she smirked.

Of course.

Her secret weapon.

Why hadn't she thought of it before?

How careless of her, she mused, shifting her weight some as she let go of his wrists and lowered her lips to his, kissing him slowly and sensually.

He responded instantly, dropping the remote to wrap his arms around her and pull her down so that their chests were practically squished against each other.

Lizzie made a grab for the remote, which lay discarded and forgotten by his head, but Edwin seemed to be one step ahead of her, and before she could comprehend what was going on, she found herself pinned to the floor with her step-brother straddling her waist, his weight and height (oh, how she longed for the good ol' days when _she_ was the taller of the two) making it increasingly difficult to even so much as _move_,

"Ed -" She gasped when he broke the kiss for air, but he only smirked down at her, picked up the remote and tossed it somewhere behind him before swooping down to capture her lips once more.

_'Damn it!'_ Lizzie's mind screamed. _'This was his plan all along! That little sneak! He's gonna pay for - oh…'_

All hostile and angry thoughts immediately vanished from her mind when she felt his mouth leave hers and latch onto the crook of her neck instead. Her breath hitched when she felt him begin sucking and nibbling on that same spot, followed by an involuntary whimper. She felt him smirk at that, and _would've_ been furious had it not felt so good.

The two were so lost in what they were doing that they didn't even hear George's car pull into the driveway.

However, about a minute later, they _did_ hear Marti's voice.

"What are you guys _doing_?"

X

**Bwuahaha! I leave you with a cliffy! I am so evil! Mwuahaha!**

**So… this turned out longer than I expected. And again, it's one of those chapters that I'm kind of so-so about. Hopefully, you guys enjoyed, though.**

Though, one thing that DID bug me about it was the somewhat sexual nature and Edwin's slight OOCness, and I can explain both. First of all, I have a very perverse and dirty little mind, so... sexual innuendos will be in just about EVERYTHING I wrie. Second of all, Edwin's addicted to Lizzie... so... he needs to kiss her at least once a day, haha. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

**… usually I'd have more to say, but my mind is just very 'blah' at the moment, so… yeah.**

**Leave a ****REVIEW**** and tell me what you think!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	12. Confrontation

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. Or _Interview with a Vampire_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Reviews make me a happy cookie. Especially the long ones. Those are always fun to read.

Thanks for the support, you guys, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

After this, only 5 or 6 chapters left.

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Confrontation**_

X

_"What are you guys_ doing_?"_

Upon hearing his sister's voice, Edwin froze, his eyes widening as he slowly lifted his head and glanced over, only to spot Marti standing just a few feet away from them. He felt Lizzie stiffen underneath him - a clear indication that she, too, had seen (and heard) the eight-year-old - but didn't pay much attention. He was too focused on Marti, who was currently staring at them with her mouth hung open and her brows knitted together in confusion. Or repulsion; he couldn't really tell, but that was the least of his worries at the moment, especially what with the way his sister's blue gaze kept bouncing back and forth between him and Lizzie.

He realized it didn't look good. At least, not for them. He could practically _hear_ the gears in Marti's head grinding and churning as she tried to make sense of the situation. After all, it wasn't every day that she walked in on her brother straddling their step-sister, while that same step-sister - who, thanks to years of Tae Kwon Do, could easily fight him off - just lay their beneath him and let him assault her neck with his mouth without even so much as putting up a struggle.

One word rang through Edwin's mind: _'Shit.'_

He had to think of something, and fast.

Laughing nervously, he scrambled to his feet as quickly as possible before extending his hand to Lizzie. She grabbed it and he hoisted her up and smiled weakly at her before glancing back over at Marti, who was watching them with suspicious eyes.

"Uh… well… there's a perfectly logical explanation for this…" He said, scratching the back of his neck. "You see… we were… we were…" He trailed off, pulling a blank, and looked at Lizzie for help.

"Wrestling!" She blurted out. "We were wrestling over the remote and then… and then Edwin decided to pretend to be a vampire to throw me off. I _told_ George not to let him watch _Interview with a Vampire_, but he just wouldn't listen."

Edwin nodded vigorously in agreement. Then stopped abruptly when he realized what, exactly, she'd said in order to shoot her a 'what-the-fuck?' sort of look, but Lizzie just shrugged. He turned back to face Marti instead.

"Uh… yeah. What she said."

The expression on Marti's face let them know that she wasn't buying into their story, but before she could actually _voice_ her opinions, George and Nora entered the house carrying boxes and bags of who knew what, and made their way into the kitchen with them. They were followed closely by a bickering Derek and Casey.

"I can't _believe_ you made out with her again!" Casey was saying - or rather, shouting.

"Jealous?" Derek replied, smirking.

"UGH!" Casey let out a scream of frustration before whipping around and storming up the stairs, not even bothering to spare Lizzie and Edwin a glance as she did so.

Derek watched her ascend up the stairs until she disappeared from his field of vision. Then, he shrugged and wandered into the living room, where he plopped down in his recliner and kicked back before looking over at Edwin and Lizzie, who currently wore matching flustered and shamefully guilty expressions. He opened his mouth to say something clever with the intention of embarrassing them both further, but before he could, Nora suddenly appeared out of nowhere and enveloped the two tweens in a tight embrace that - judging by their blue faces - deprived them of oxygen.

After about a minute or so of watching them struggle for air (mostly due to his own sick amusement), he decided to finally voice his concerns.

"Uh, Nora? I don't think they can breathe."

As soon as the words left his lips, realization dawned on Nora and she quickly released her daughter and step-son, who gasped for breath and backed as far away from her as possible.

Marti had long gone, having stormed up the stairs and to her room upon realizing that no one was actually paying attention to her.

Nora smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry." She apologized. "I guess I just… missed you guys, is all."

Edwin and Lizzie glanced at each other briefly before rolling their eyes.

"Missed us?" Her daughter repeated. "You were only gone for a few hours!"

"Yeah, I know, but -"

Before Nora could finish her sentence, however, George entered the living room and interrupted.

"Who wants leftover cheesecake?"

And all was forgotten as everyone raced into the kitchen.

X

The next day was… weird, to say the least. Especially since Edwin had gotten so used to sleeping in the passed week… it was hard getting up so early the following morning. Fortunately for him, though, he had Lizzie there to help… _persuade_ him into waking up. First by threatening to forcibly drag him out of bed (which he and everyone else knew she was perfectly capable of doing) but when _that_ failed (he wasn't about to go down without a struggle, after all, and he thanked the Lord every _single_ day for headboards) she switched to Plan B. In other words, her 'secret weapon' - also known as her lips. Against his, to be more accurate.

Needless to say, _that_ certainly got him out of bed, and in less than twenty minutes (a new record, he was proud to admit) the two found themselves downstairs and ready to go - but not before grabbing a bite to eat first.

"So…" Lizzie started, without looking at Edwin as she opened the freezer door and fished out a box of frozen waffles. "Excited to go back to school?"

"What are you? My mom?" Came her step-brother's reply, before he went on. "And no. Not really."

Lizzie nodded, but said no more as she waited for her breakfast. Then, after about two minutes, the toaster went off and her waffles popped up. She licked her lips hungrily and quickly snatched the syrup and a plate before making her way over to the island and pulling up a stool across from her boyfriend, who glanced up from his cereal and smirked.

She arched an eyebrow at him upon noticing a familiar striped material wrapped around his neck.

"Edwin… why are you wearing the scarf I made _Derek_ for his birthday?"

"He let me borrow it after you did a number on my neck last night." Her step-brother answered simply, grinning sheepishly at her. "And no amount of cover-up could hide these hickeys. I tried."

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well, that's what you get for tricking me."

Edwin smirked.

"Really, now?" He said. "Well, if _that's_ the case, then I guess I should trick you more often."

Lizzie scoffed and promptly chucked a piece of waffle at him.

X

"I didn't see you first period. Where were you?"

That was the first thing Lizzie asked as soon as Edwin dropped his tray on the cafeteria table and plopped down beside her.

"In the Principal's office." He muttered. "Mr. Greenberg wanted to talk to me about the 'no fighting on school grounds' policy, and told me I'd be expelled if I ever did it again." He rolled his eyes and took an angry bite out of his sandwich before continuing. "That guy is such a dick. I should egg his house or something - he only lives a few blocks away from us, you know."

Lizzie smiled sympathetically at her boyfriend and placed a comforting hand on his knee.

"As fun as that sounds, Ed, I don't think that's a very good idea. You're already in enough trouble as it is."

Edwin sighed.

"I know, I know. It was just a thought." He said. "But enough about me. How has _your_ day been so far?"

Lizzie groaned.

"Stressful." She replied, planting her elbows on the table and rubbing her index and middle fingers against her temples. "Ms. Parker's been giving me hell since last week. She's been assigning us double the homework and I _swear_ she's out to get me now. I'm starting to think she suspects… _us_." She whispered the last part so that only Edwin could hear, before speaking normally again. "And if that's the case… she clearly doesn't approve."

Edwin scoffed.

"That ignorant bitch." He growled. "I change my mind about Greenberg. We should egg _her_ house instead."

Lizzie just shook her head.

"She's not the only one who's been acting differently." She said. "Haven't you noticed? _Everyone_ has been acting weird since your fight with Teddy." She bit her lip and peered around the crowded cafeteria before looking back at him. "A lot of them won't even go _near_ us unless they absolutely have to. Why do you think we're the only ones over here?"

Edwin glanced around. He and Lizzie were sitting where they usually sat - close to middle of the cafeteria - but for some reason, the surrounding tables - which were usually filled with various cliques and students - were vacant. Most of their classmates were sitting as far away from them as humanly possible, opting to be squished together at tables that were only supposed to seat six rather than find a free table that was anywhere near _them_. He frowned, unconsciously clenching his fists.

"That's not all." His step-sister's soft voice brought his attention back to her. When she felt she had his undivided attention, she went on. "Tanya… she convinced the rest of the hockey team that I was some sort of 'incestuous freak' and held a vote. They…" Her voice started shaking against her will. "They voted me off the team."

Edwin's eyes widened.

"_What_?" He hissed. "They can't do that!"

"Yes they can." Lizzie grit out, refusing to meet his gaze. "They can, and they _did_. And now… none of them will even so much as _look_ at me anymore, and… and…"

A choked sob left her lips, and Edwin instinctively wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his warm embrace, holding her close and kissing the top of her head while she cried silently into his chest. Many emotions - specifically anger - were beginning to surface inside him, but he forced them down. He wasn't about to risk getting expelled on his first day back after a week's suspension, but at the same time, he didn't just want to sit there and do _nothing_ while the girl he loved was tortured and tormented by the people who were supposed to be her _friends_. He had to do something. He just _had_ to.

However, before he could dwell on the subject any longer, Lizzie lifted her face from his chest, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand and smiling warily at him.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I don't know what came over me."

Edwin shook his head.

"No." He said. "Don't be. You have every right to be upset. What they're doing isn't right… and I'm going to fix it. Somehow. I promise."

He rested his forehead against hers and reached up to caress her cheek.

"Everything will get better. I promise."

X

After an agonizingly long day at the school that no longer wanted anything to do with them, Edwin and Lizzie were relieved when they walked through the front door of their house. Sure, their family was crazy and often overbearing, but at least they _wanted_ them there… to an extent.

Regardless, it was still _way_ better than school.

But then again… _anything_ was better than school.

Unfortunately for Edwin and Lizzie, however, their home life was about to get _a lot_ more complicated.

…

But they'd find that out soon enough.

X

Ugh.

Dish Duty.

How he _loathed_ it so.

Unfortunately, it was Monday, so it was _their_ turn to do the dishes that night.

Edwin sighed as he lifted his hands from the soapy water in front of him and stared blankly at his wrinkled fingertips before glancing at his step-sister from out of the corner of his eye. Her usual cheerful smile was absent, and had been since lunch, replaced with an unreadable expression that made it hard for him to tell how she was really feeling. He could only assume the worst, but… hopefully he was wrong. Perhaps she was just lost in thought, he mused.

"So… are you gonna tell Nora about getting kicked off the hockey team?" He asked under his breath, so as to not alert the family members sitting in the living room.

"I already did." Lizzie murmured.

Edwin blinked.

"Really?" He said, genuinely surprised. "What did you tell her? How'd she take it?"

Lizzie sighed, but didn't say anything at first. She just scrubbed furiously at the plate in her hands, making sure that not even a speck of food remained. After about a minute or so, she looked up and shrugged.

"I stretched the truth a bit… all I told her was that Tanya was being a bitch, so I quit the team." She said, and then sighed again. "I couldn't tell her the whole truth without her finding out about _us_… so I just said the first thing that came to mind. She was a little disappointed that I 'gave up without a fight' and all, but other than that… I don't know." She chewed at her bottom lip nervously. "You're not mad, are you?"

"No… why would I be mad?" Edwin asked, furrowing his brow.

"I don't know. It just feels like… like everyone's turning against me, you know? Like… people who I _thought_ were my friends turned out to be the complete opposite, and… I keep getting this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something bad is going to happen." She paused briefly to look her boyfriend directly in the eye. "To us."

Silence dawned on them shortly after. Edwin opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. Finally, he just shook his head and wiped his hands on his jeans before placing them on Lizzie's shoulders.

"Lizzie, listen to me." He said. "Nothing - I repeat: _Nothing_ - is going to happen to us. Do you hear me? In a few weeks, all of this will blow over and everything will be normal again. Just you wait." He smiled reassuringly at her. "I promise."

Lizzie sighed and turned her head to stare out the window.

"You make a lot of promises, Edwin." She said. "But are you sure you can keep them?"

Edwin grinned, then cupped the side of her face and turned it so that she was looking at him again.

"Liz… when have I ever been wrong?" He asked.

His girlfriend raised an eyebrow at him. He laughed and shook his head.

"Okay. Bad question. What I mean is…" he amended, "… what I mean is… that when I make a promise… I keep it. You can count on that."

With that, he lowered his lips to hers.

X

Unbeknownst to the two tweens locking lips in the kitchen, a pair of cerulean eyes were watching them, and had been watching for a while.

Horrified, the owner of the eyes quickly tore their gaze away and hid behind the dining room wall before they were spotted, all the while trying to rid their mind of the sinful and _disgusting_ image that was forever stained in their memory.

But the damage was already done.

Clenching their first tightly, the owner, a determined young woman of the tender age of sixteen, silently vowed to put a stop to what was taking place under her own roof.

X

"Goodnight, Edwin. See you tomorrow."

Lizzie gave her step-brother a quick peck on the cheek before bounding down the upstairs hallway and to her room, but as she went to go open the door and step inside, she froze.

There, sitting on the edge of her bed waiting for her with her arms folded and her legs crossed, was Casey.

"Hello, Lizzie." Her sister greeted her in a sickeningly sweet voice that made Lizzie want to puke. "I've been expecting you. Come in. Take a seat."

The younger of the two furrowed her brow in confusion, but said nothing as she closed the door behind her with an echoing _click_ and obeyed Casey's orders by sitting down next to her - not because she was an obedient little sister that did everything her older sister wanted her to do (though that was certainly part of it) - but rather, because there was something strange about Casey's aura that night. Something eerie and daunting. Something that made Lizzie fear what may happen if she _didn't_ do what her sister told her.

Once she was seated comfortably enough, she looked up at Casey with curious eyes, silently wondering what was going on. Casey looked back, and seconds later, she spoke, as if there had been some kind of telepathic link between them that allowed her to hear - to _know_ - exactly what her little sister was thinking.

"I want to talk to you." She said simply. "It's about Edwin."

Lizzie's heart stopped. Her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open as she stared at her sister in shock, but she quickly snapped out of it and tried to act like she didn't know what Casey was talking about.

"Really?" She said, feigning curiosity. "What about him?"

Casey narrowed her eyes.

"Don't play stupid with me, Liz. You know exactly what I'm talking about." She said dangerously.

Lizzie tore her gaze away and shook her head frantically.

"No." She lied. "No, I don't."

"Stop lying to me, Lizzie! I saw you two! Tonight! In the kitchen!" Casey snapped. "I saw him kiss you, and I saw how you kissed him back, so don't you _dare_ tell me you don't know what I'm talking about because you do!" She took a deep breath in an attempt to regain her cool, and tucked her hair behind her ears before looking down into her sister's terrified face once more and saying calmly, "I just thought I'd let you know that I know… and that I do _not_, under any circumstance, support what you two are doing."

"I mean…" she went on, "lying to your own _mother_? Sneaking around behind everyone's backs to make out with your _step-brother_?" Casey made a disgusted face. "That's low. Not to mention sleazy. And another thing…"

By this point, Lizzie's body was trembling with fury. It was taking all her willpower not to just slap Casey right there and then, but she knew violence wasn't the answer, so she suppressed the urge. Unfortunately, with each passing second that her sister continued to rant and rave about how 'gross' and 'wrong' it was, the temptation was becoming harder to resist.

"Shut _up_, Casey." She grit out, rising to her feet. "Just _shut up_!"

For a moment, Casey was rendered absolutely speechless.

Never once had her sister _ever_ talked back to her in such a way.

Her cerulean eyes went wide upon realizing that her worst fear was slowly becoming realized. Just as she'd suspected from the beginning… living with the Venturis was clearly taking a negative toll on Lizzie. Her personality, her morals, her judgment, her… her everything! _Everything_ about her dear, sweet, innocent little sister was taking a turn for the worst and the Venturis were to blame for it!

Specifically the eldest and his loyal minion.

"Oh, Lizzie!" She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. "Can't you see what being with Edwin is _doing_ to you? You're becoming impulsive and reckless! You're not thinking straight! You're becoming like -"

"Like _Derek_?" Lizzie finished, before laughing bitterly. "I appreciate the concern, Casey, but I think I can take care of myself. You may not like it, but being with Edwin is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"It's unethical!" Her sister cried. "It's not normal!"

"I don't recall asking for your opinion, Casey." Lizzie spat, folding her arms defiantly across her chest.

"He's a Venturi, Lizzie!"

"_So_?"

"He'll only end up hurting you!" Casey told her. "All Venturis are the same."

"_Really_, now?" Lizzie challenged. "Is that so? Know from experience, Casey? Got something you want to _share_, perhaps? Is somebody a hypocrite?"

A resounding _**CRACK**_ echoed throughout the tiny, peach-colored room, and Lizzie was stunned to suddenly find herself on the floor holding her stinging right cheek, staring up at her older sister in disbelief.

Casey, on the other hand, didn't seem at all perturbed that she had just _hit_ her own sister. Desperate times called for desperate measures, after all, and while she knew that it was wrong to justify her actions, she just didn't know how else to make Lizzie see that she was wrong. Oh, how she longed for the days when all she had to do was _talk_ to her sister to make her understand, but those days seemed to have long gone.

"My apologies, Lizzie, but don't you _dare_ talk to me like that _ever_ again!" She warned, stepping closer and casting a shadow over her sister's curled up body. Her expression softened a little as she crouched down beside her and gazed into Lizzie's eyes lovingly. "I'm your sister, Lizzie. I'm only trying to look out for you. The Venturis are bad people - can't you see? All of them. Even Edwin, and if he's anything like his brother - which he is - he'll only end up hurting you in the end. It's inevitable. I'm only trying to prevent that from happening, and one of these days, you'll see that… and you'll thank me for it."

With that, she rose to her feet and made her way over to the door, pausing midway to spare Lizzie one last glance.

"Break it off with him, Liz." She said. "Before it's too late. If you don't… I'll have no choice but to go to Mom and George."

Then, she was gone.

X

Lizzie didn't know how long she sat curled up in a ball on the ground, but as she slowly got to her feet and massaged her cheek, she knew that that was the least of her worries.

Casey _knew_.

Casey knew about her and Edwin, and she'd threatened to tell their parents if she didn't break it off with him. But she _couldn't_ just break up with him. She just couldn't!

She had to tell Edwin. She had to tell him about Casey and everything Casey had said. Once she did that, they would be able to come up with a plan.

And a damn good one at that.

X

**Alright, I'm stopping the chapter there, folks. It was originally going to be longer, but school starts back up tomorrow and I have to go to bed early.**

**So… let's see. Casey's a bit OOC, isn't she? Yeah… she turned out a lot more evil in this chapter than originally planned. Not to mention a little psychotic. Split Personality, much? Ah, well. **

**Also, I tried my take at foreshadowing, which is always fun. Leaves you on the edge of your seat with that horrible gut feeling we all know and hate, doesn't it? And there's finally some major conflict going on.**

**I'm so cruel.**

**ANYWAYS… hope you enjoyed!**

**Please, ****REVIEW**** and tell me what you think!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	13. Green Eyed Monster

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: I love reviews. Thanks so much, you guys! Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter… after this, there's only 4 or 5 chapters left.

**IMPORTANT:** I kind of lied before. This chapter is also going to be bordering on **14A**. It wasn't originally, but the beginning is kind of… well… you'll see.

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Green-Eyed Monster**_

X

The first time Edwin had ever masturbated, he had been twelve years old and it had been to a rather… _erotic_ fantasy involving his two step-sisters and himself -- a fantasy that had originally spawned from a wet dream prior to the incident. Since then, and especially recently considering that his late night rendezvous' with Lizzie generally had a side effect on a certain part of his anatomy, he'd done it numerous times, and while he tried to think of different things to whack off to, Lizzie's face always appeared in his mind right before release, and it was always _her_ name that fell from his lips once he did so.

And… to be quite frank… it sickened him. Not because he didn't find his girlfriend attractive -- on the contrary, he thought she was the cutest girl he'd ever laid eyes on -- but rather, because it made him feel dirty to be thinking of her in such a manner. It certainly didn't help that the things she was usually doing in his pre-orgasm fantasies weren't exactly G-rated, either.

He knew that it was positively ridiculous to think that way what with all of the things that had been going on between them lately, and he knew that -- as a guy -- he had every right to jack off to thoughts and fantasies of his girlfriend… even if she _was_ his step-sister as well. However, regardless of how many times he reminded himself of those facts, he _still_ couldn't rid the feeling of being a sick bastard from his conscience every time he came with _her_ in mind, nor could he suppress the chronic paranoia that coursed through his veins whenever he was in the middle of committing the act, always terrified that someone would catch him.

Yet, despite his worries, he never once made an effort to _stop_ altogether, and for a number of reasons… but he had little time to dwell on those reasons as his hand slowly crept down his bare chest and stomach. He tried to ignore the hammering of his heart as his fingers inched closer and closer to the waistband of his boxers, but just as he was about to dip his hand inside, his bedroom door flew open and Lizzie waltzed inside.

Edwin, startled, dropped the picture of her he'd been holding in his left hand (a picture that, judging by the length of her hair in the photograph, was about a year old) and stared at her in shock, unable to say anything.

_'Oh shit.'_ His mind cursed. _'Oh shit, oh shit… not good…'_

"Li -" He started, getting ready to explain himself, but Lizzie cut him off before he could.

"Casey knows, Edwin."

Edwin's eyes widened.

"_What_?" He cried. "What do you mean she…" He trailed off upon noticing his step-sister's posture. Her shoulders were slumped and her arms were folded, and for the most part, she was turned away from him. Tousled brown waves hid half of her face, and if _that_ wasn't enough, she refused to make eye contact with him. To be perfectly honest, Edwin was worried. "Liz… come here."

Reluctantly, Lizzie shut the bedroom door and padded across the room towards him. Edwin shifted to make room for her, shimmying up so that his back was against the headboard, just as Lizzie sat down on the edge of his bed. Then, unconsciously, he reached up and brushed the hair off the side of his girlfriend's face, only to suck in a breath seconds later.

"What. _Happened_?" He demanded, his voice cracking against his will.

Lizzie grimaced.

"I told you," she said, "Casey knows. She saw us kissing in the kitchen earlier." Her words were becoming strained, and she literally had to _force_ the next part out. "Needless to say… she wasn't too pleased to find out about us."

Edwin stared at her incredulously, unable to believe his ears.

"She HIT you?"

Lizzie nodded.

"Yeah…" She said, reaching up to touch the side of her face, only to visibly wince when her fingertips brushed against the throbbing red mark that her sister's hand had left behind. She sighed softly. "I suppose I deserved it, though… I mean, I sort of egged her on and -- what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Edwin growled, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I'm going to kill her."

"Edwin, no!" Lizzie grabbed his wrist, halting his movements. "Killing her won't solve anything. What we _need_ is a plan."

Edwin sighed and reluctantly sat back down before scooting back so that he was once again resting against the headboard.

"You're right," he reasoned. "Any ideas?"

Lizzie shook her head.

"No, I was kind of hoping _you'd_ have some." She confessed, smiling shyly. Then, suddenly, her expression became serious. "She wants us to break up, you know."

"Yeah, I kind of got that after finding out she _hit_ you," said Edwin, biting his lip as his gaze drifted back to the handprint marring his girlfriend's face. "Did she say anything else?"

"Not really," Lizzie lied. "Just kind of threatened to tell mom and George if we didn't stop."

"_Kind of_ threatened?"

"You know what I mean."

Edwin cursed under his breath, then let out an exasperated sigh and closed his eyes, trying to come up with a plan. It was during this time that Lizzie started to grow anxious and fidgety; she no longer even wanted to _think_ about the ordeal that'd gone down between her and her sister. All that did was make her feel angry and she didn't _like_ feeling that way. She needed a distraction, she concluded; something to keep her mind occupied and off of everything that was falling apart around her.

Her eyes darted around the attic in a desperate search for a distraction, but found none. However, it wasn't until she caught sight of the Babe Raider poster plastered on the wall, and the magazines of scantily-clad women (which she _assumed_ that he'd 'borrowed' from Derek) littering the hardwood floor that something sparked within her developing libido. Her gaze drifted over to her step-brother, who was still lost in thought, and her lips curled into a devious smile. Lifting herself further onto the bed, she didn't think twice before climbing on top of him.

Edwin's eyes snapped open just as she was planting each knee on either side of his hips.

"_What are you _doing_?_" He hissed frantically.

"What does it _look_ like I'm doing? I'm making myself more comfortable." Lizzie answered simply, wiggling around in his lap. "Don't mind me, though. Keep thinking."

Edwin clenched his teeth together.

"I _can't_ think when you're moving around like that." He grit out.

"Like what?" Lizzie asked, feigning innocence.

"Like -" A grunt emitted from Edwin's lips when she wiggled around again. "- _THAT_! Stop that!"

Lizzie sniggered.

"Aww… what's wrong, Edwin? Do I make you uncomfortable?" She teased, sticking her tongue out at him in a playful manner.

Edwin glared at her, and she immediately stopped laughing and just smiled at him.

"Have you come up with a plan, yet?" She asked.

He nodded.

"Yeah. Kind of."

"Really? What is it?"

"_Your_ plan." He answered simply, smirking.

"My plan?" Lizzie repeated, furrowing her brow in confusion. "_What_ plan?"

"Remember the 'plan' you came up with when you first propositioned me?"

_That_ seemed to jog her memory.

"Oh! _That_ plan!" She recalled, flushing red with embarrassment as she mentally berated herself for forgetting.

"Yeah. _That_ plan." Edwin confirmed. "As you said before… if Nora and my dad find out, we just…"

"Deny." Lizzie finished.

"Exactly."

Lizzie let out a breath of relief.

"Well, now that that's settled… I should probably retire for the night." She announced, crawling off her boyfriend's lap. "See you tom -- _Edwin_!"

A loud shriek left her lips when she was suddenly pulled back into his lap. After regaining her composure, she glared down at him in an attempt to intimidate him. It usually worked, but apparently not on that particular evening, for he just smiled up at her lazily. She tried to keep a straight, stony face, but it didn't last long and pretty soon, she was grinning back at him, and after shifting around a bit so that she was straddling him again, she leaned down and cupped his face before kissing him deeply, tongue and all.

After a few minutes, she pulled away.

"I really _should_ go." She said.

"No. You really _should_ stay." Edwin replied, kissing her again.

"I want to." She assured him between kisses. "I really do. But…"

Oh, to hell with it. Their family was clueless enough -- with the exception of Casey, of course. If anyone walked in, no one would question anything. Not even if they were locked at the lips. Not that anyone _would_ walk in. No one but _her_ ever even _dared_ to venture into Edwin's room. It was usually rather disgusting, but as of recently, he'd been keeping it relatively clean and tidy, and she suspected that it had something to do with her. She didn't mind, though. It was flattering, really, and with that thought in mind, she lowered her lips to his once more, taking his bottom lip between her teeth and sucking on it, thoroughly pleased with the sounds that left him as she did so.

Neither knew how long they made out for, but when they finally pulled away, their faces were flushed and their lips were swollen red. Both were breathing heavily as they stared hard at one another, eyes clouded over with newfound lust while hormones raged inside of them, coursing through their very veins. Soon their lips met again, but with more ferocity than ever before. Tongues dueled and curious hands began to roam over and across unfamiliar territory, gripping and groping and occasionally clawing hard enough to draw out loud hisses and groans.

Suddenly, Lizzie tore her lips from his and started planting feathery light kisses along his jaw line, all the while unconsciously rocking against him and making it increasingly difficult for him to keep his thoughts coherent. He didn't object, though -- mostly because the combination of her soft lips touching his skin and her body moving against his own felt too good -- and instead, he placed his hands on her hips and lifted his own to meet hers, making her gasp loudly in response. He smirked, quite pleased with the reaction, and did it a few more times, eliciting more gasps from her and causing her to grip his shoulders tightly for balance.

"Edwin," she whimpered, lifting her head to look at him, "something's wrong. I feel…" she trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut and picking up her pace, unable to describe the foreign feeling radiating inside her.

She could feel heat pooling between her thighs as she continued to grind against him. It was an unusual sensation, but not a bad one. Still, it made her feel strange nonetheless.

"What's… _ah_… what's happening?" She choked out.

"I…" Edwin began, but paused to bite back a moan. "I don't… know. Just… just keep going. I'm sure it'll be over… _soon_ -- oh God… keep going. _Please_, Liz."

That was a lie. He'd jacked off enough times to know _exactly_ what was going on, but at the moment, his brain was far too consumed with pleasure to think of a logical explanation. As Lizzie complied to his request, moving faster and faster against him, a familiar feeling began to build up inside of him until finally, he couldn't suppress it any longer and threw his head back, smacking it against the headboard, and jerked his hips upward as he came.

Lizzie's eyes went wide for a split second as something inside her exploded. Then she bit down on his shoulder in a vain attempt to stifle the scream threatening to escape her lips.

When it was over, she collapsed against him panting hard, and for the next few minutes, they laid there in silence, bathing in the afterglow of their climax. Eventually, however, Lizzie regained enough strength to sit up, although her body was still quivering with the aftermath of her first orgasm.

"That was… amazing." She breathed out, staring down at him in an almost deliriously dreamy way. "Let's do it again."

"Uh… maybe tomorrow." He said, gazing up at her tiredly. He was spent. He couldn't even bring himself to move a muscle. "You should really get to bed… Nora and my dad are bound to come checking up on us sooner or later."

Lizzie nodded, disappointed but understanding. She knew he was right, and after giving him a quick peck on the lips, she bid him goodnight and slid off his lankly body and off his bed before hobbling over to the door. Edwin watched her, highly amused, until she exited his room. Once she was gone, however, he proceeded to lift his sheets and groaned loudly about having to change his boxers.

Lizzie, meanwhile, was exceptionally giddy as she entered her own bedroom -- a lot happier than she'd been when she'd left, and as she changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed, all she could think about was how much she was in love with Edwin Venturi.

X

The next morning, Edwin didn't even need Lizzie's help to wake up, and after hurriedly throwing on what he _assumed_ to be the cleanest outfit that lay scattered on the floor, he quickly combed his hair and brushed his teeth before making his way downstairs. When he entered the kitchen, everyone else was already awake; his siblings sat around the island eating cereal while his dad and Nora stood by the sink talking about whether or not Marti was old enough to take care of a pet -- a debate that'd been circulating within the house for the last few months.

"Hey," he greeted to no one in particular, but Lizzie looked up anyway and the two exchanged smiles before Edwin tore his gaze away and sauntered over to the pantry in search for food.

Specifically _Pop Tarts_.

He could feel Casey's piercing blue eyes boring holes into the back of his head as he rummaged through the cabinet, but did his best to ignore it. After moving around a few things, he found the box of _Pop Tarts_ he'd been searching for and grabbed it, kicking the door shut behind him (to which Nora scolded him for) before walking over to the toaster. He was about two feet away when his dad's voice stopped him.

"Edwin, what's that on your neck?"

Eyes widening, Edwin quickly spun around to face him, his hand flying up to feel bare and _exposed_ skin.

_'Fuck!'_ His mind screamed. _'I forgot Derek's scarf!'_

"Why don't you ask _Lizzie_?" Casey's sickeningly sweet voice snapped Edwin out of his reverie, and he glanced over just in time to see Lizzie scowl at her sister and mouth 'bitch'.

His eyes darted over to his parents, who were staring at him expectantly, eagerly awaiting his reply; then over to Derek and Marti, who were also watching the scene intently. Marti looked intrigued -- excited, even, as her senses told her that something near scandalous was about to go down in their kitchen and for the first time _ever_, it had nothing to do with her eldest siblings. Derek, on the other hand, looked amused, but at the same time, a bit worried.

"_Well_, Edwin?" Nora urged, bringing Edwin's attention back to her and her husband. "We're waiting."

The middle Venturi swallowed nervously, and then proceeded to blurt out the first lie that came to mind.

"They're… mosquito bites!"

"Mosquito bites?" Nora repeated.

Edwin nodded.

"Yeah." He said. "They're always coming into my room through that crack in the roof -- you know, the one that the rain used to get in through? That one -- and… well, I've been meaning to tell you guys, but I guess it just kept slipping my mind. If it's any consolation, though, I don't even feel it."

At first, it didn't look like either parent believed him, but Lizzie was quick to change that.

"It's true!" She piped up, ignoring Casey's outraged expression. "I see them all the time when we're up there _hanging out_." She emphasized the 'hanging out' part specifically for Casey, whose eyes widened instantly. "They're always flying around. You should probably take a look at the roof again, George." She advised.

Their parents seemed to buy into Lizzie's story without question, and Edwin couldn't help but want to laugh at their gullibility. He probably _would_ have, too, had the circumstances been different, but as it was, he was far too busy grinning at his girlfriend.

Twenty minutes later, they were boarding the bus for school -- their personal Hell.

X

Much to Edwin and Lizzie's immense dismay, the day dragged on at a ridiculously slow pace -- just as it had been doing ever since his fight with Teddy, according to Lizzie.

The two stuck together like glue, only parting when absolutely necessary because they couldn't bring themselves to leave the other to fend for him or herself in a middle school that was currently either ostracizing them or condemning them for reasons known not only to the students, but to the staff as well. Unfortunately, in doing so, it made them the primary target of even _more_ gossip, and facing an onslaught of verbal attacks (usually cruel remarks and jokes about incest) was beginning to seem like a regular occurrence. Hushed whispers and accusing fingers were gradually becoming something of the 'norm', but it was the penetrating and judging looks from their peers and teachers that seemed to be most common.

There used to be a time when Edwin didn't think that the teachers even paid any attention to the gossip and rumors that floated around in the halls, but he was slowly coming to the realization that he'd thought wrong -- _especially_ after catching Ms. Parker shaking her head disapprovingly at them in class. Although he suspected that it was mostly because he'd gotten a paper cut earlier that day and Lizzie had taken it upon herself to make it better… with her mouth. In a very vampire-esque fashion that still left him weak in the knees as he recalled how her tongue had swirled around the wound, lapping at it and making him tingle all over.

Speaking of which… ever since they'd left home that morning, she'd been acting very… forward, to say the least. He didn't know what had changed -- okay, that was a complete lie. He knew that her forwardness was a direct result of the previous night, but really. Sucking on his index finger in the middle of class? Sliding her hand up his thigh on the bus? Passing him provocative notes that never ceased to stir his arousal?

If Lizzie wanted to freak people out, she was doing a damned good job at it.

But she was playing with fire, and they both knew it. He wasn't rejecting her, though; in fact, he willingly complied and went along with it, even going so far as to snake his arms around her waist and kiss her neck in plain sight by his locker (the bewildered looks on their classmates' faces had been absolutely priceless) and why? Because he was a teenage boy with raging hormones and he wasn't about to object to anything his girlfriend wanted to do.

Edwin couldn't help but chuckle to himself.

They were going to end up being the most taboo couple in school and they both knew it, but it seemed they'd already embraced that fate, and if no one wanted to hang out with them as a result… then so be it. That just meant that those _people_ that they'd once called friends were never really _friends_ to start with.

It didn't matter to them, as long as they had each other.

So long as Edwin had Lizzie, all seemed right in the world. He wanted to let her know that, too, but didn't know whether or not it was too early to start professing his love.

Still, he wanted her to know -- _needed_ her to know -- just how much she meant to him.

The only probably was… he didn't know how to tell her. Or _show_ her, for that matter. He wasn't even entirely sure if what he was feeling was even _love_ at all, or just pure infatuation. He knew that he loved her unconditionally as a friend and all, but as for being _in love_ with her? Such a thing was so… abstract. All he knew was that whenever he was with her, she made him feel… alive.

She'd been his first true friend, she'd taught him to stand up to Derek… she made him feel like he was _there_. Like he actually existed. Up until the McDonalds came into their lives, he'd been nothing more than Derek's subordinate, and when he hadn't been waiting on his brother hand and foot, he'd been up in his room… completely and utterly alone.

But then his dad met (and married) Nora, and Lizzie entered his life and he suddenly wasn't so alone anymore.

And he felt an overwhelming urge to tell her that, but --

Edwin's thoughts were cut off by the lunch bell. Snapping out of his stupor, he stood up and gathered his belongings before crossing the classroom to join Lizzie at the door. She smiled at him as soon as he appeared beside her, and together, they made their way to his locker.

"So I've been thinking…" he began once they arrived at their destination, but trailed off as he attempted to get his lock open.

"Ooh. Did it hurt?" Lizzie teased.

Edwin rolled his eyes.

"Ha ha, very funny." He deadpanned. "But not what I was aiming at." An annoyed grunt emitted from the back of his throat as he fumbled with the combination some more before he finally grew impatient and released the lock, letting out a frustrated noise and slamming his fist into the locker door.

Which promptly popped open.

He glanced over at Lizzie, who appeared mildly impressed, and then shrugged it off like it was nothing and proceeded to put his stuff away. Once finished, he turned to face her again and smirked, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against his now-closed locker in an attempt to look 'cool'. Lizzie's lips quirked up in amusement, but she didn't budge from where she was standing, so Edwin decided to take matters into his own hands by reaching out and grabbing her wrist, tugging her close so that their bodies were touching, and swooping down to press his lips against hers, pulling away only to spin around and pin her to his locker before claiming her mouth again.

The hallway was empty; everyone else had gone to the cafeteria, so it wasn't likely that they'd get caught in the near future. Not that either of them cared, of course. Everyone already knew they were together -- or at least _suspected_ they were -- so why bother trying to hide it?

Parting for air, the two gazed longingly at one another for what seemed like eternity before Edwin lowered his lips to the base of her neck and began suckling on it feverishly. He could feel Lizzie trembling uncontrollably as he proceeded to mark her just as she'd marked him so many times before. Her breathing slowly became more and more shallow as his tongue flicked out to lap at the newly exposed skin provided for him when she instinctively tilted her head back and gave him more access, and he couldn't help but smirk against her.

Seconds felt like minutes, and minutes felt like hours, but both had lost track of time as they continued their session. Eventually, however, Edwin started to feel bold, and after moving his lips to begin his assault elsewhere, he slid his hands down her back and squeezed her bottom, causing Lizzie to squeal and jump, and _him_ to pull away and laugh. She glared at him and opened her mouth to say something -- probably to yell at him, he presumed -- but suddenly froze when she spotted something over his shoulder.

"_Jamie_?"

"Jamie?" Edwin repeated, whipping around and scowling bitterly when he laid eyes on the other boy. "Oh great. What do _you_ want?"

"Edwin!" Lizzie chided, smacking him upside the head. "Be civil!" She turned back to face Jamie. "What _do_ you want, though?"

Jamie didn't say anything at first. He looked nervous and uncomfortable (which delighted Edwin to no end), but after a few minutes of silence, he finally spoke up.

"I just… I just wanted to let you know that I'm all for your guys' relationship." He said. "And… and I think that you should just go for it."

Edwin snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Thanks Jamie, but we really don't need your permission." He stated coolly.

He could feel Lizzie glaring daggers at him, but kept a straight face.

"I-I know." Jamie stammered, flushing under Edwin's condescending stare. "I just…"

"What Edwin _means_ to say…" Lizzie started to amend, smiling warmly at her friend. "Is that it's nice to know that not _everyone_ is completely opposed to us being together. Isn't that right, Edwin?"

Edwin almost denied it.

_Almost_.

But Lizzie's threatening look kept him in check and he nodded, even though both he _and_ Jamie knew it was far from the truth.

"Yeah." He forced out. "That's exactly what I meant."

He expected Jamie to leave after that so he and Lizzie could resume making out, but when he didn't, he narrowed his eyes as if to demand to know why the other boy was _still_ there.

Jamie bit his lip.

"I… uh… I wanted to know if it would be alright if Lizzie had lunch with me." He shuddered when Edwin's stare turned murderous, and quickly added, "As friends! Just as friends, I swear!"

Lizzie opened her mouth to reply, but -- worried she might actually _accept_ Jamie's offer -- Edwin draped a possessive arm over her shoulders and pulled her close, smirking at Jamie as he did so.

"Sorry." He said, although he wasn't really sorry at all. "But she's having lunch with _me_ today."

_'Now take a fucking hike.'_ He wanted to say, but decided against it.

Jamie's fallen expression was satisfying enough.

"O-oh. Okay. Maybe tomorrow, then?"

"Maybe." Edwin muttered nonchalantly, kissing the top of Lizzie's head.

Jamie said nothing more; just waved goodbye to Lizzie and disappeared down the hall.

Once he was out of her field of vision, however, the McDonald roughly shrugged Edwin's arm off her shoulders and whirled around to look at him, eyes burning with anger.

"What was that?" She demanded.

Her step-brother merely stared blankly at her.

"What was what?" He asked.

Lizzie clenched her fists.

"Oh, don't play stupid with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about!" She seethed. "What gives you the right to be such an asshole to Jamie? He may be the only one in this damn school who actually accepts us!"

Edwin scoffed.

"Yeah, but he's also the same guy that's been crushing on you since you first got here, and I'm sorry, but I just don't feel very comfortable with some other guy moving in on my girl!" He snapped.

"_Your_ girl?" Lizzie repeated, staring at him incredulously. "Since when did I become a fucking possession?"

"Since when do you care about what other people think?" Edwin countered.

Lizzie's eyes went wide.

"I… I don't… I…" She faltered and took a step back, falling against one of the lockers and using it to support herself. "At least… I don't think I…"

Edwin sighed and moved closer, placing his hands on his shoulders and leaning down to silence her with a brief kiss.

"I know you don't." He said when he pulled away. "And I'm sorry for saying that. I just… I don't want anyone to steal you away from me."

He buried his face in the crook of Lizzie's neck, inhaling her scent while her arms encircled him.

"I'm… I'm not going anywhere." She assured him.

Edwin lifted his head.

"Good. 'Cause I…"

The words -- the words he so desperately wanted to say -- got caught in his throat and he cursed himself.

"You what?" asked Lizzie.

Edwin shook his head.

"Nothing." He lied. "Nothing at all. Are you hungry? Do you want to go to the cafeteria? There's still…" he paused to glance down at his watch, "… twenty minutes left."

Really? Only twenty minutes had passed?

Lizzie thought for a moment, and then came to a verdict.

"Sure." She replied. "Let's go."

Edwin smirked and took her hand, lacing their fingers together before dragging her down to the cafeteria.

X

**Well, that's all for now. Sorry for taking so long to update, but school's been keeping me quite busy lately.**

**Now, onto the story.**

**First off, I apologize if the make out scenes were too… ahem… **_**explicit**_**. I am, of course, talking about the one in the beginning. Though in my defense, I wasn't exactly exaggerating. **_**Morally**_**, I'm well aware that kids their age shouldn't be doing that sort of stuff (and for the record, they weren't having actual sex. They were "dry humping", as my friends from middle school would say) but… it totally happens. I remember being their age and having a friend of mine brag to me about the stuff her and her MUCH OLDER boyfriend used to do. So… yeah. However, as a precaution, I bumped up the rating a little -- for THIS chapter, at least -- hence the warning in the beginning, which you all should've paid heed to if you didn't want to read what you read, haha.**

**Moving on… I really hope I didn't make them too OOC in this chapter, but I'm preparing for… what's to come in later chapters. Specifically the next one.**

**OH NOEZ! SPOILER!**

**I'm so evil.**

**Umm… what else to say… I honestly can't think of anything, to be honest, but I'm sure I will later.**

**Hopefully you enjoyed!**

**Please ****REVIEW**** and tell me what you think!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	14. Speaking Without Thinking

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_, Wal-Mart, Hello Kitty or Bacardi. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Okay, so thank you guys SO much for the reviews. I really, really appreciate them. They mean a lot. Also, I am SO sorry for taking so long to update, but school and other fanfics have been keeping me quite busy so… yeah.

Hopefully, this chapter will make up for it.

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Speaking Without Thinking**_

X

They had _just_ walked through the cafeteria doors when Lizzie suddenly came to an abrupt halt, forcing Edwin to do the same, and pulled her hand away from his.

"Uh oh."

The dark-haired boy immediately turned to face her.

"What is it?" He asked, the concern evident in his voice.

Lizzie didn't answer at first. Instead, she patted down the pockets on her jeans and sweater before sighing and combing her fingers through her hair.

"I forgot my lunch money again." She confessed.

"That's fine. I'll pay." Edwin offered, reaching into his own pocket to retrieve his wallet, but Lizzie stopped him by placing her hand on his arm.

Then she laughed softly and shook her head.

"Thanks, but no thanks. The last thing I need is to be in debt to _you_ of all people." She joked. "Besides, I think I have some leftover change in my locker somewhere. I'll use that. Just find us a good spot, okay? I'll be back in a few!"

With that, she pecked him on the cheek and ran off.

Edwin sighed and began to scan the cafeteria's crowded vicinity for an empty table. He eventually spotted one near the window and grinned triumphantly, and was _about_ to make his way towards it when a blonde blur caught his eye. Glancing over, he saw his ex-crush, Michelle Turner, paying for a slice of pizza at the cash register and frowned. She, like the rest of his 'friends', had been avoiding him and Lizzie ever since he got back, and although tremendously pissed off about it, he was still in _desperate_ need of advice… preferably from a girl -- which was precisely why he quickly fell into step with her just as she started walking to her own table.

"Hey Michelle!" He greeted with false enthusiasm.

The blonde stiffened and hurriedly whipped around, clearly startled to find him there.

"O-oh. Hi Edwin." She replied, her eyes darting around nervously. "W-what do you want?"

Edwin shrugged and casually slipped his hands into his pockets.

"Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if I could talk to you about something." He said simply. "In private." He added. glaring at the surrounding students who'd brought an end to their own conversations to eavesdrop on his and Michelle's. The students quickly looked away and resumed where they'd left off.

"I… I don't know, Edwin." Michelle seemed anxious and uncertain, and kept biting her lip much like Lizzie did whenever _she_ was unsure about something, but to him it wasn't as cute.

"Please?" He begged. "It'll only take a few minutes. It's important."

A minute or so went by before Michelle finally responded with a reluctant "_Fine._" and followed Edwin over to the secluded table by the window that he'd picked out for himself and Lizzie, all the while trying to ignore the curious stares from the rest of their peers. Once seated comfortably enough, the Venturi boy cleared his throat and began.

"Listen, Michelle… I'm just gonna cut to the chase." He said, "I know that you and Jason and pretty much everyone else have been avoiding me and Lizzie, but you know what? Whatever. Go right ahead. We couldn't care less. In fact, after this, feel free to keep doing it, but first… I'm afraid I need your advice."

Michelle furrowed her brow.

"Advice?" She repeated. "What kind of advice?"

"_Girl_ advice. Hence why I came to talk to _you_." Edwin replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You have two step-sisters, Edwin. Couldn't you talk to one of _them_?" The blonde inquired.

"I'm afraid not. See, Casey's being a bit of a bitch lately -- excuse my French -- and well… I can't go to Liz because _she's_ the reason _why_ I need the advice in the first place."

Michelle blinked confusedly. Edwin sighed in exasperation, trying to think up a subtle way to tell his ex-crush that he was more or less in love with his step-sister. After racking his brain and discovering that he just _couldn't_, regardless of how hard he tried, make it subtle, he decided to just come out and say it.

"I'm in love with Lizzie." He announced, "And… I want to tell her, but I don't know _how_ to."

At first, Michelle appeared to be momentarily at loss for words, but she was quick to regain her composure.

"But…" she protested weakly, "you two are brother and sister!"

"Not by blood." Edwin reminded her. "Besides, our parents have only been married for a couple of years."

"That may be true… but that doesn't change the fact that you're only thirteen. All of us here... we're just middle schoolers. We don't have the emotional capacity to know _what_, exactly 'love' is in the first place. What you're feeling is probably… I don't know… infatuation or something." Michelle countered skeptically.

Edwin shook his head defiantly.

"No, no! It's love! I know it is!" He said frantically, loud enough for her to hear but no one else. "And… and I know it sounds crazy, but… when I'm with Lizzie, my heart beats a thousand times faster, and it's like… everything just becomes a little more bearable, you know? And when we kiss it's like… I'm floating on a cloud. All my problems are suddenly gone. I-I mean, she makes me feel so _good_ and so… ack! I can't even describe it! All I know is that whenever I'm with her, the only thing I want to do is shout what I feel for her to the rest of the world." He paused to take a deep breath, and then went on. "And… I know it sounds corny, but if there was one person I could see myself with fifty years from now, it'd be her."

A stunned silence fell upon them in which Michelle seemed to be completely in awe by his words, and it wasn't until that awe wore off that she spoke once more.

"Wow, umm…" she cleared her throat, "wow."

Edwin's shoulders dropped.

"So… what do you think I should do?"

Michelle couldn't help but snort.

"You're asking _me_?" There was a hint of amused disbelief in her tone, but when she met his eyes, she realized that he wasn't _trying_ to be funny and tore her own gaze away to stare out the window for a few minutes before looking back at him. "I'm no expert, but… in all honesty, Edwin… if that's how you really feel about Lizzie… then I think you should tell her."

Edwin started to fidget, becoming visibly unsure.

"Really?"

Michelle nodded and reached across the table to give his hands a reassuring squeeze.

"Really." She said, "And… I'm sorry. About everything."

Edwin smiled. "Thanks, Michelle. That means a lot."

The two stood up and hugged before Michelle pulled away and picked up her lunch tray.

"Well, I'm gonna go sit with Jason and them. See you later."

Then, like that, she was gone. But Edwin's dopey grin still remained as he peered around the cafeteria, which had become significantly less crowded in the last ten or so minutes, and wondered why it was taking so long for his girlfriend to return. Suddenly, his dark gaze landed on something not too far away -- something that made him go very still. The grin on his face immediately vanished, only to be replaced by a murderous look in his eyes, and his muscles tensed instantaneously.

There, in the center of the cafeteria, were Lizzie and Jamie.

_Kissing_.

---

Was $2.50 enough money for a slice of pizza _and_ a small chocolate milk?

That's what Lizzie wanted to know as she made her way back to the cafeteria, carefully counting and re-counting the coins in her hand.

She sighed, knowing perfectly well that it wasn't.

It seemed that she would have to take up Edwin's offer after all…

She'd just pay him back using… _other_ methods, she supposed. Kissing his neck often worked to her advantage… or perhaps she would experiment a little and try out some of the _other_ things she'd read about in Casey's magazines. He'd be sure to like it enough to forget all about her debt to him… if she played her cards right, at least.

As Lizzie entered the cafeteria once more, she paused briefly to look for her boyfriend. It didn't take too long to find him, and when she finally did, her eyes lit up and she started towards him, only to stop dead in her tracks when she realized that he wasn't exactly alone.

He was with someone, and not just _any_ someone... a _girl_ someone. A girl someone who wasn't _her_, his own girlfriend, but rather his previous _crush_ Michelle, and from where she stood, the two appeared to be quite... chummy. _Too_ chummy, In fact. Almost… intimate, even, and when the blonde reached over to clasp her hands over Edwin's, Lizzie's eyes narrowed dangerously and she could feel her blood begin to boil.

Unusually violent thoughts raced through her mind, and the thought of stabbing Michelle through the eye with a plastic fork suddenly became very appealing, but before she could even so much as _move_, Casey's voice echoed in her head.

_"He's a Venturi, Lizzie… He'll only end up hurting you…"_

Lizzie squeezed her eyes shut.

_'No… no, Edwin's not like that… he wouldn't do that… he just wouldn't! Casey's _wrong_.'_

She let her eyes flicker open once more, but when she saw the way Edwin was smiling at Michelle, a wave of nausea washed over her. It felt like someone had just punched her in the gut. Breathing had become increasingly difficult and tears were starting to blur her vision, but she attempted to blink them away.

"I need to get out of here." She murmured to herself, turning to leave. "I need to -- _OOF_!"

Suddenly, she collided with another body and probably _would've_ stumbled back and fallen had a pair of thin and almost bony arms not encircled her waist in time, thus preventing her from doing so. When she looked up, Lizzie was shocked to find Jamie standing there, a worried expression etched across his face.

"Lizzie? Are you okay?" He asked.

The McDonald girl's gaze bounced back and forth between the boy holding her and her step-brother, who was currently embracing his 'ex-crush', before zeroing in on Jamie's face. He looked confused -- startled, even -- when she reached up and cupped each side of his face, but before he could say anything, Lizzie's lips were on his.

Needless to say, kissing Jamie was not as fun or as pleasing as kissing Edwin, and under any normal circumstance, the idea would've never even crossed her mind. Hell, Jamie didn't even _respond_ to it; he just stood frozen, like a statue, and let _her_ do all the work and while normally she wouldn't object to being in charge (especially when it came to Edwin), she didn't feeling as though she were kissing an inanimate object. It was so… boring, for lack of a better word, and it seemed she had made the right decision to turn him down all those months ago.

Still. She was thoroughly upset with Edwin for practically throwing himself at another girl -- _especially_ since he'd berated _her_ not even fifteen minutes earlier about simply eating lunch with Jamie! She needed to exact revenge -- to show him just _who_ was boss in their relationship and _who_ pulled the strings -- and what better way to do that than to kiss the one boy he so obviously despised?

Lizzie almost laughed. _Almost_. After all, she didn't want to raise any unwanted questions regarding her sanity (she'd gotten enough of those already for hooking up with her _step-brother_ of all people), and certainly not when what she was doing was not particularly funny.

Just then, it occurred to her that she needed to breathe, and with that in mind, she pulled away.

"Lizzie… I -"

Before Jamie, undoubtedly baffled by _what_ had just taken place, could finish his sentence, he was suddenly slammed against the cafeteria wall.

"I _knew_ I was right not to trust you alone with my girlfriend, you little creep!" Edwin snarled, grabbing the skinner boy by the front of his shirt. "Now, give me one reason why I shouldn't beat the snot out of you right here and now!"

Lizzie licked her lips with anticipation as she watched the scene unfold before her very eyes.

_'How far will he go…'_ She thought, keeping her gaze locked on the back of her step-brother's head as he continued to threaten and harass Jamie.

Then she wondered why she suddenly cared more about what Edwin was going to do to Jamie rather than Jamie's actual well-being itself. And so, to save her friend from ending up like Teddy -- if not worse -- she spoke up.

"It's not Jamie's fault, Edwin. It's mine. Let him go."

Her boyfriend was reluctant, but eventually released the smaller boy, who immediately scurried back to his table. Edwin, in the meantime, turned to stare at her incredulously.

"Your fault? What do you mean _your_ fault?" He demanded.

"I _mean_…" Lizzie said smoothly, stepping closer to him and rising to the tips of her toes to whisper into his ear, "_I_ kissed _him_."

Then she pulled back and smirked up at him, waiting eagerly for his reaction. Edwin could only gape at her for the first little while, unable to form a single coherent sentence, which was perfectly fine in Lizzie's opinion. Her step-brother's inability to speak was both satisfying and rewarding, but before she could bask in her triumph, a dangerous growl emitted from the back of Edwin's throat and he grabbed her arm roughly, tugging her in the direction of the fire escape doors.

Once outside, he whirled around to face her, dark eyes blazing with fury.

Had she, herself, not been just as angry, she probably would've been terrified.

"Why the _hell_ would you kiss another dude when you're with me?" He seethed, nostrils flaring.

Lizzie scoffed.

"Please. Like I need to explain myself to _you_." She spat, leaning against the brick wall behind her and crossing her arms.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Edwin cried. "You're MY girlfriend -- not his! I have every right to know!"

"And you're _my_ boyfriend; not hers, but that sure as hell didn't keep you from being all over her!" Lizzie countered.

"_What_?" Edwin furrowed his brow and pinched the bridge of his nose out of sheer frustration. "What are you _talking_ about?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me!" Lizzie snapped, planting her hands firmly on her hips and stomping her foot. "You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about!"

"No, I don't! I really don't! Now would you _kindly_ tell me what -"

Before the Venturi could finish his question, the bell rang, cutting him off. He frowned and then shot his step-sister a look that said _"We'll talk more later"_ before making his way back inside the school.

X

They didn't speak to one another for the remainder of their classes. In fact, they stayed as far away from each other as humanly possible. This, of course, raised some questioning eyebrows from their peers and even a few teachers -- especially since the two had practically been joined at the hip for weeks, if not months. To suddenly stop was… well, more than a little odd, but no one said a word about it.

When school was over and they went home, they retreated to their respective bedrooms with the same monotonous "homework" excuse before either parent could strike up what would be considered an actual conversation.

By the time dinner rolled around, the entire family could feel the tension radiating off the middle children in waves, but like their classmates, they walked on eggshells around them and didn't say anything.

But without Edwin cracking a corny joke or Lizzie enlightening them all about some kind of worthy cause, supper was unusually quiet -- uncomfortably so. Even Derek and Casey, who were almost always at each other's throats for one thing or another, were being cautious. No one knew what to say to make the situation less, well, tense.

Finally, the silence became too much for Nora and she broke it.

"So… how was school today?" She asked.

"_Fine_." Lizzie forced out, refusing to meet her mother's gaze as she continued to pick away at the food she'd barely even touched.

"Yeah." Edwin muttered in agreement, glaring down at his plate. "Just _swell_."

Nora pursed her lips together and sent her husband a quizzical look. He just returned the look and shrugged, just as perplexed as she was.

"Well, I'll have you guys know that _my_ day was great!" Casey chirped, grinning from ear-to-ear. "Max gave me this _cute_ little charm bracelet for our Month-A-Versery… see?" She held up her wrist to show off the silver chain that currently adorned it, along with the various charms (hearts, fruits, flowers, Hello Kitty…) that dangled from it. "Isn't it cute?"

"_Adorable_!" Derek sneered, his voice going up an octave in an attempt to imitate her own. "I mean, nothing says 'I love you' like a cheap charm bracelet from Wal-Mart."

Casey scowled at him, but before she could retort, Lizzie spoke up.

"Well, it's nice to know that not all guys have the attention span of a rodent." She said vehemently, lifting her head to narrow her eyes at Edwin from across the table.

His expression quickly contorted into one of outrage.

"Hey!" He cried defensively, "You -"

"May I be excused?" Lizzie interrupted, glancing over at her mother.

Nora looked about ready to decline, but when the words failed to leave her mouth, her youngest daughter simply took her silence as a "yes" and stood up abruptly, her chair scraping across the wooden floor loud enough to make everyone at the table wince and hard enough to leave marks. Lizzie sent one last glare in Edwin's direction before straightening her back and marching up the stairs.

When Edwin made a move to follow, he was stopped by Derek, who grabbed the hem of his shirt and yanked him back down into his seat before eyeing him warningly. The latter let out a defeated sigh and reluctantly went back to eating.

X

An hour later, after finishing his dinner and watching some hockey with Derek, Edwin went upstairs with the intention of retiring for the night; the whole ordeal with Lizzie was stressing him out and he felt he needed to sleep on it. However, just as he was about to wander up to his room, he halted. A familiar large brown envelope, addressed to him, was lying on the bottom of his attic stairs, and he knew instantly that it was from Lizzie as he picked it up and read.

_**Meet me in the Games Closet.**_

Given that the time wasn't exactly specified, the note itself was rather vague, but assuming that she meant _now_… Edwin sighed and promptly whirled around, making his way back down the hall and towards the Games Closet.

He stood in front of the door for what seemed like eternity before grasping the knob and twisting, pulling the door open and stepping inside. When he reached up and turned on the light, he noticed that Lizzie was already there, leaning against the shelf behind her.

His jaw dropped and his eyes bulged when he saw what she was wearing.

She was clad in one of Casey's old jean skirts (an indecently short one that just _barely_ reached her thighs and showed off a lot more skin than it probably should've) and a tank top that kept riding up her midriff. Her hair was curlier than usual, spilling over her shoulders and down her back, and her lips were stained a sort of crimson-y color. In short, she almost resembled a mini-prostitute and he couldn't help but gawp, even though he knew that it was wrong. What made matters worse was that he wanted nothing more than to take advantage of the situation, slam her against the shelf and ravish her; the only thing preventing him from doing so was his self-control, but even _that_ was quickly deteriorating.

_'Look away!'_ His conscience screamed. _'Look away NOW!'_

Edwin tore his gaze away and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to think of anything that would turn him off; his old and wrinkly second-grade teacher, dying puppies, the Holocaust, _Derek_…

When he re-opened them, he sucked in a sharp breath. Lizzie had all but closed the distance between them; she was practically pressed against him, and he couldn't help but wonder how he hadn't noticed or _heard_ her move, but before he could hypothesize, he realized that his voice was working again and spoke.

"What. Is. _That_?" He motioned to her scandalous attire.

"Like it?" She asked, smirking up at him. "Be honest. Is it… sexy?"

Slutty, trashy and completely inappropriate was more like it, but Edwin clenched his teeth together to keep from saying it aloud.

He changed the subject instead.

"So, uh… what did you want to talk about?"

There was something oddly deja-vu about this moment.

"Oh, Edwin… 'talking' wasn't exactly what I had in mind." Lizzie cooed into his ear, causing him to shiver.

"Then what did you wan - _mmph_!" Edwin started, but was silenced by his step-sister's lips.

Instinctively, he responded. Placing his hands on her hips, he drew her even closer and returned the kiss as she backed him into the door and slid her arms around his neck. He groaned when her tongue darted out to trace the seam of his lips, begging for entry that he wasted no time granting by opening his mouth and giving in. She tasted different, but he didn't have time to contemplate _how_ or _why_ as she deepened the kiss. Tongues dueled and ever-curious hands explored, and it wasn't long before his own were up her shirt and fondling her while she gasped and panted and arched into his touch, all the while wriggling frantically against his growing arousal.

Suddenly, Edwin realized what he -- what _they_ -- were doing and snapped out of it, pulling his hands out from where they'd been residing for the last little while, and pushing her away.

For a moment, Lizzie looked confused, but that expression was soon replaced with a frown.

"Why'd you stop?" She demanded, leaning in to kiss him again, but the dark-haired teen grabbed her by the shoulders and held her back.

"Lizzie, no! This is all happening _too_ fast!" He said, shaking his head. "We need to talk. About earlier. About why you kissed _Jamie_ when _I'm_ -"

"No! Shut up! Just forget about it and _shut up_!" Lizzie snapped, breaking free from his grasp and backhanding him across the face.

_Hard_.

Edwin, too stunned to move, watched helplessly as his girlfriend crumpled to the floor and began to sob hysterically.

"I don't understand! I wore make up, I dressed like a hooker, I let you touch me… and yet I'm still not good enough!" She wailed.

It was then that it occurred to the Venturi that something was horribly, horribly wrong with Lizzie.

But _what_?

He needed to find out.

Lowering himself to the floor, he scooted closer to her until his knees were touching hers. He held his breath as Lizzie raised her head and stared at him. Her hair was disheveled, her face was flushed and tear-streaked, her eyes were bloodshot and her lips were swollen, complete with smeared lipstick. She was a wreck.

"Liz… what's gotten into you?" He reached out to caress her face, but she slapped his hand away.

"Fuck off! Don't _touch_ me!" She shrieked, "Just go back to your precious _Michelle_ and leave me alone! Obviously I'm not good enough for you!"

Edwin furrowed his brow. "Michelle? What?"

"I saw you two!" Lizzie went on, jabbing him in the chest with an accusing index finger. "I saw the way you were looking at each other! I'm not blind! You guys were practically having sex with your eyes! I'm not stupid, you know! If you want to go gallivanting off with that whore, then be my fucking guest!"

"Wait. _That's_ why you kissed Jamie? Because I was sitting with _Michelle_?" He asked incredulously.

"You forgot gazing, holding hands and hugging." Lizzie spat coldly. "Tell me, though… how long has this affair of yours been going on?"

Edwin threw his hands up in frustration.

"_What_ affair? There _is_ no affair, Lizzie! You -"

She struck him again.

"Fuck you and your fucking lies, Edwin Venturi!" She hissed, "Casey was right about you! All Venturis are the same!"

That's when he smelt it.

The alcohol on her breath, and the only reason he knew that it was alcohol was because he'd smelt it before -- on Derek, way back when Casey had first gone out with Sam. Derek had come home late one night from some party, stumbling in through the side door, drunk as a skunk, and Edwin -- who'd been the only one still up at the time -- had been forced to help his brother to his room so that he wouldn't end up tripping down the stairs and cracking his skull open or something like that.

"Lizzie… don't tell me you've been drinking…"

Lizzie merely grimaced.

"It was only a sip or two." She drawled, "Or twenty."

Edwin buried his face in his hands.

"How? When? _Why_?"

"I found a bottle of Bacardi a couple of weeks ago… it was in the fridge -- the fridge in the garage, I mean -- behind all of the carbonated stuff… I was gonna tell you, but I forgot. Until today." She explained, her speech gradually becoming more choppy and slurred -- a clear indication that the alcohol was _really_ starting to kick in. She blinked confusedly before narrowing her eyes at the boy in front of her. "And I did it because I wanted to drown my sorrows, you asshole, but _you_ keep being such an uptight bitch about _everything_ and chasing around other girls and -- what the hell does _she_ have that _I_ don't?"

"Liz -"

"It's her _chest_, isn't it?" Lizzie muttered bitterly.

"Lizzie, for Pete's sake, stop it! You always do this!"

"Do _what_?"

"Interrupt me! You never let me talk!" Edwin snapped, "For the last time, me and Michelle aren't having an affair; I'm not even remotely interested in her anymore. You're the only one for me -"

Lizzie snorted, but Edwin couldn't really blame her. It _was_ kind of cheesy, but this was his chance. Resting his hands on her shoulders, he continued.

"Lizzie, the only reason I was even _talking_ to Michelle was because I needed advice about something. Something that's been eating away at me for… quite sometime. But after she gave me the advice, I started to have my doubts and that's when she reassured me… so I hugged her. Out of gratitude, though. Nothing more." He smiled weakly. "Liz… I would _never_ cheat on you. I love -"

Lizzie huffed loudly.

"Well, you could've come to _me_ if you needed advice so bad… instead of going to that stupid blonde slut of a -"

Edwin groaned.

"Michelle's not a slut, Lizzie, and you know it." He sighed. "And… normally I _would've_ gone to you, but I couldn't this time."

Lizzie glowered at him.

"Why the hell not?" She snapped.

"_Because_… it was _about_ you!" Edwin blurted out before he could stop himself. He was about to mentally berate himself, but when his girlfriend tilted her head to the side and eyed him curiously, he decided that now was as good a time as ever to finally _tell_ her how he truly felt. After taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he met her gaze, his grip on her shoulders tightening some, and spoke once more. "Lizzie… I love you. _Really_ love you, and not just as a friend or a sister. I… I'm _in_ love with you."

A deafening silence fell upon them shortly after his confession, in which Lizzie just stared at him, her face exhibiting an array of emotions that made it difficult for him to pinpoint exactly how she was feeling or what she could've been thinking. Edwin wet his lips in anticipation, trying to brace himself for her reaction, but didn't receive one for a good give minutes or so -- the longest five minutes of his entire life. Then…

"You… what?" She asked softly, sounding almost dazed.

He was about to repeat himself, but before he could, Lizzie's frustrated scream cut him off -- startling him in the process -- and he watched as she gripped either side of her head and shook it furiously.

"_No_! This is all _wrong_! No! No! No! This was just experimenting… you weren't supposed develop feelings for me! Do you _REALIZE_ what you've done? Huh? _Do you_?" Before Edwin could even respond, Lizzie wrenched away from him and shoved him roughly, hard enough to make him fall back and hit his head against the door.

Swearing quietly, he sat up in time to catch her rising to her feet, shaking, eyes wide, hugging herself and breathing raggedly.

"So… what are you saying, Liz?" He croaked, "That you _don't_ feel the same?"

It didn't make sense. He could've sworn that his feelings were reciprocated…

"What? _No_!" Lizzie cried, as if it were the most outrageous thing she'd ever heard. "That's _sick_! You're my step-brother! You - _oh_!"

Anger was quick to engulf Edwin, and soon he was on his feet as well, caging his step-sister between his body and the shelf behind her.

"Well, what did you expect?" He snarled, "All this sneaking around and being boyfriend and girlfriend, and making out and touching and -"

"I _expected_ you to act like a _guy_ and think with your _dick_ instead of your heart!" The McDonald girl fumed. "Damn it! This complicates _everything_, Edwin!"

"_Why_?" Edwin demanded. "Why does it have to complicate everything? Why can't we just embrace it and -"

"It just does, _okay_?" Lizzie snapped. "Besides… it's kind of hard to 'embrace' this… this _catastrophe_ when _I_ don't feel the same way! Or did you forget that?"

Edwin froze, allowing her words to echo over and over again in his mind. All was quiet for a few minutes until finally…

"You're lying." He murmured, and then glanced up and raised his voice. "There's no way -- no _damn_ way -- that you don't love me back. Not after I've given you practically everything! My first kiss, my heart, my soul… and you've done the same!" He accused. "You can't _not_ love me back, Liz. The connection between us -- the connection that's been there from the very beginning, in case _you_ forgot -- is pretty damn eminent! There's something there and it always has been, and you can't deny that! Why else would you have gotten so jealous of Michelle? If you didn't love me back, you wouldn't have cared and you know it. You would've just moved on and toyed with some other sucker's heart!"

Lizzie made a face.

"Oh _really_?" She challenged.

"Really."

She made a sound in the back of her throat -- a laugh, perhaps, but Edwin wasn't too sure, nor did he have enough time to dwell on it before she spoke again.

"I'm afraid you're wrong, sweetie. Sorry to burst your little bubble, Ed, but I don't love you, and I never have."

A sickening feeling washed over him, but he ignored it. Instead, he persisted.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that, Liz." He growled. "Then I'll believe you."

He saw Lizzie hesitate at first -- or, at the very least, he _thought_ he saw it -- before she glanced up and did just that.

Dark brown eyes locked with light blue, and he searched.

He searched and searched and searched, but found nothing. Nothing but emptiness.

Then she opened her mouth and said the four words he dreaded more than anything else in the world.

"I don't love you."

And his heart shattered.

Literally.

But his fury outweighed his broken heart and he found himself pushing her further into the shelf, wanting nothing more than to hurt her -- to make her feel the same unbearable pain that he was currently experiencing, if not more, but he knew that any physical pain that he caused her would never even _begin_ to amount to the sheer anguish that was enveloping his very being.

He let go when he heard her whimper uncomfortably, and took a step back.

"Well, then… I guess it's over." He said.

Lizzie's eyes widened.

"You're breaking up with me?" She cried disbelievingly. "You can't!"

"Au contraire, _Sis_. I can, and I am." Edwin replied smoothly, despite how he felt on the inside.

"_Why_?" She wailed desperately. "Just because I don't love you doesn't mean we can't still -"

She was silenced by her step-brother's lips smothering her own with a forceful kiss that left her positively breathless.

When he pulled away, he smirked.

"You'll get over it. And hey, if you get bored… just go mess with Jamie. I'm sure he wouldn't care." He sneered, whipping around.

He was about to open the door when Lizzie called out to him.

"Edwin, wait! I…"

His gripped the knob tightly, his heart -- or at least what was left of it -- pounding rapidly. "You what?"

"I…" Lizzie trailed off. "Nothing."

Edwin sighed.

"Goodbye, Liz."

He cast a solemn look over his shoulder before exiting the Games Closet.

Lizzie waited until he was gone and out of earshot before she sunk to the floor and dissolved into tears.

X

**Well… that was dramatic.**

**Longest. Chapter. EVER.**

**And… to be honest, I feel kind of "blah" about it. But hopefully you guys enjoyed it… so to speak. I know it's kind of angsty and whatnot, but… yeah. That's all I'm gonna say.**

**Please ****REVIEW**** and tell me what you think!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	15. Aftermath

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Eeek… my bad for not updating in over two (almost three!) months, but I've been insanely busy lately.

This chapter is kind of a filler chapter… it wasn't in the original draft, but due to the confusion that spawned from the LAST chapter, I felt that this was needed in order to clear up a few things.

Also, there's a bit of a surprise at the end. BUT DON'T YOU DARE SKIP OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, ABDUCT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP AND FORCE YOU TO WATCH TRASHY VIDEOS!

You dig? Good.

Enjoy.

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Aftermath**_

X

"I broke up with Lizzie."

That was the first thing that came out of Edwin's mouth when he entered his brother's room immediately after his confrontation with his now ex-girlfriend.

The unexpected announcement was enough to make the older Venturi nearly choke on air. Sitting up abruptly, Derek stared at his brother with an aghast expression etched across his face, unable to speak. In all honesty, he was torn between wanting to throttle the boy and wanting to comfort him -- not in a gay, lovey-dovey way or anything, of course; just too offer some words of wisdom and to let him know, at the risk of sounding highly corny and clichéd, that there were "other fish in the sea".

But first in foremost…

"WHAT? _WHY_?"

Alas, that was the only thing he could think of to say at that moment, for his mind was still trying to grasp the news that his _brother_ -- geeky, awkward, freaky, strange, dorky, self-deprecating Edwin Venturi -- had dumped a girl… and not just ANY girl, but a girl who was actually pretty damn cool in Derek's opinion. Granted, she was also their step-sister, but that was completely beside the point.

Edwin merely sighed and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall opposite Derek's bed, where the older boy currently sat gaping at him.

"I told her that I was in love with her… she didn't feel the same way." He said with a shrug.

He sounded disturbingly nonchalant to Derek, which unnerved the infamous slacker to no end.

"You dropped the 'L' bomb?" Derek cried disbelievingly. _'Idiot!'_ He wanted to shout, but could only force out, "_WHY_ would you do that? After _everything_ I've _ever_ taught you? You don't just go around dropping the 'L' bomb whenever you feel like it, you retard! What were you thi -"

"Because!" Edwin cut him off, his face growing red and his body trembling with an unmistakable rage. "I _do_, Derek! I do love her! I love her so _fucking_ much and…" He averted his gaze. "And I thought… she loved me too, but…" He trailed off, his voice gradually softening, and scoffed. "Why am I even bothering to tell you this? It's not like _you_ of all people would understand the concept of l -"

"Finish that sentence, Ed. I dare you." Derek's voice was dangerously low -- enough to shut Edwin up instantly, although the younger boy continued to glare at him. The slacker merely scoffed. "Besides, you're one to talk. You're only thirteen. You don't know the first thing about love. What you _allegedly_ 'feel' for Lizzie is nothing more than your hormones telling you that you want to bone her -- it's your dick talking, and that's all."

Edwin scowled, balling his fists.

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" He growled out through clenched teeth. "Why is it so _fucking_ hard to believe that me being in love is possible?"

"Uh, because you're not?" His brother chimed in. "Haven't you been listening?"

"Yes. I. Am!" Edwin shot back.

"Oh?" Derek challenged, arching an eyebrow. "Then why'd you break up with her?"

Edwin froze.

"W-what?" He whispered.

His brother pursed his lips.

"If you love her _so_ much… then why did you break up with her?" He repeated.

"I… because, I… I mean…" Edwin trailed off, fidgeting profusely. He began to pace frantically, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he tried to think of the right answer. When nothing came to mind, his shoulders slumped in defeat and he went still. Then, biting his bottom lip, he fought back tears and tried again. "I can't… I can't be with her anymore if she doesn't feel the same way." He paused to take a deep breath. "At first, it was just about the experimenting… and I was cool with that, even though I knew that what I felt for her, even before all of this, was the furthest thing from _brotherly love_. But then… I don't know… these feelings… they grew stronger over the last few months. I've had thoughts about marriage, Derek. _MARRIAGE_. And dreams of frolicking in open fields with her and our two kids… among other things." Grimacing, the younger Venturi boy turned to look at his brother. "I know that I'm in love with her, Derek. But I broke up with her because I knew it would be too painful to stay with her when she clearly doesn't feel the same way."

Unable to respond coherently, Derek remained quiet for the next few minutes. In fact, both brothers did. However, that silence was soon shattered by the sound of Edwin shuffling across the room and over to the door -- but right before he opened it, he craned his neck to spare Derek a brief glance.

"You know… even though it hurts… I don't regret doing what I did. In a way, I'm almost relieved, because at least I had the balls to tell the girl I'm in love with that I love her… which is more than what I can say for you, _Bro_." With that said, he yanked open the door and marched out, leaving Derek to gape after him in disbelief.

It wasn't until he heard Edwin's footsteps disappear up the attic steps that he finally let out a sigh.

_'Casey.'_

X

In the meantime, Lizzie found herself in Casey's room, her face buried in the crook of the latter's neck, inhaling the sweet scent of berries while she sobbed hysterically.

"I knew this would happen." Casey murmured, kissing the top of the younger girl's head and rocking her back and forth like a child. "I told you this would happen, didn't I? I told you that he would hurt you in the end, and he did. You should've listened to me, Liz… this could've all been prevented."

Lizzie only cried louder, her arms tightening around her sister's waist.

"Shh…" Casey soothed, combing her finger's through Lizzie's tangled locks and rubbing her back in a comforting manner. "Don't waste your tears. He's not worth it. _No one_ is."

"B-but… you don't u-understand!" Lizzie hiccupped, pulling back slightly to peer up at the older girl through puffy eyes. "I love -"

"No!" Casey cut her off sharply, shaking her head and frowning. "No, you don't! Don't say that -- don't even _think_ it!"

"But -"

"Lizzie, listen to me and listen to me good." The elder of the two said slowly, placing her hands on her little sister's shoulders and meeting her gaze. "Edwin Venturi is not worth it. He's not worth your tears, or your kisses, or your love. Do you understand me? He's. Not. Worth. It." She waited until Lizzie nodded weakly before she went on. "You'll find someone better in time. Trust me. Middle School crushes don't last long, anyway."

Lizzie wanted to retort -- to object, and to tell Casey how she really felt about their step-brother. However, she decided against it and just nodded. Casey beamed in response and hugged her tightly, saying how she was glad to have the old _obedient_ Lizzie back, and then comforted her some more until she deemed it "late enough" and told Lizzie to go to bed. The younger girl did as she was told, without question, and returned to her room.

Once she closed the door, all hell broke loose.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS!" She bellowed, grabbing fistfuls of hair and yanking mercilessly.

She then proceeded to trash her entire room -- kicking over the garbage, making crumpled up paper and granola bar wrappers spill out; ripping the blankets from her bed and throwing them onto the floor; knocking over the lamp on her nightstand, in addition to her alarm clock and numerous knickknacks; snapping her hockey stick in half… but she was still very much unsatisfied.

Finally, she unleashed a frustrated scream that seemed to echo throughout the entire house, grabbed the nearest object (the porcelain angel that her real dad had gotten her for her tenth birthday) and whipped it across the room.

It was that sound -- that horrible sound of something valuable breaking -- that snapped Lizzie out of her enraged stupor at last.

Then, realizing what she had done, she dropped to her knees and began to cry once more.

_'It's all my fault.'_ She thought, wrapping her arms around herself. _'All of it.'_

She should've never jumped to conclusions -- she should've just let Edwin explain his side of the story before reacting.

She should've never gotten drunk as a means of drowning her sorrows -- the alcohol did nothing but make things worse. It made her cruel and ruthless and _abusive_ and… someone she didn't like at all, and from what she gathered… neither did Edwin.

Lastly, she should've never lied to him.

If she had just done those three simple things… then they'd still be together.

_'But now… it's too late.'_

Curling up into a ball, Lizzie squeezed her eyes shut.

The last thing that entered her mind before she drifted off to sleep was how Casey was wrong.

Edwin wasn't the one that didn't deserve her.

_She_ was the one that didn't deserve _Edwin_.

X

Casey was in the middle of straightening her hair when she heard footsteps nearing her room, and glanced over just in time to see the bane of her very existence enter and close the door behind him. Making a face, she turned back around and resumed where she'd left off.

"What do you want, Derek?" She asked, the annoyance evident in her tone.

When Derek failed to answer, she peered at his reflection in the mirror and saw that he was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking more than a little pissed off. Downright furious seemed to be an appropriate term, though Casey couldn't for the life of her figure out _why_.

After about a minute or so, Derek finally spoke.

"I hope you're happy, Casey." He sneered. "I really do."

Sighing in exasperation, Casey stopped what she was doing and faced him once more.

"What are you talking about?" She muttered.

"I'm talking about Edwin and Lizzie, and how you've not only just ruined their relationship -- but their friendship as well."

Casey stared blankly. "I fail to see how this is at all my fault."

"I'm not stupid. I know you, and I know that only you could've planted ideas in Lizzie's head, and for _that_… yeah, it's pretty much your fault." Derek spat. "God, why couldn't you have just left them alone?"

"Why?" Casey repeated, rising to her feet. "_Why_? Because they're brother and sister! Because it's unethical! Because Edwin is on the brink of becoming EXACTLY like YOU! A lying, cheating, scumbag slacker who would only end up hurting Lizzie in the end. I was protecting her from getting her heart broken in the long run!"

"Yeah, well, sorry to burst your bubble… but because of your 'advice', _two_ hearts got broken tonight!" Derek snarled.

"Oh, please! They're twelve and thirteen years old! They'll get over it!" Casey shot back. "And anyway, why do you even ca -"

Before she could even finish, Derek pressed his lips to hers in a bruising kiss that lasted only mere seconds before he pulled away.

"That," he said, taking a step back. "_That_ is why I care."

Then, whirling around, he made his way out of the room, leaving Casey standing there with her eyes wide and her mouth hung open, trying to comprehend _what_, exactly, had just happened.

X

**Significantly shorter than the last couple of chapters, but like I said… it's a filler that wasn't in the original draft.**

**I don't really like how it turned out, but hopefully you guys did.**

**Please ****REVIEW****! More reviews means quicker updates.**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	16. George's School of Dating

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. Or any of the magazines mentioned. Or the **ShamWow** commercial. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Whoops. I apologize for the wait. Hopefully this chapter will make up for it.

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**George's School of Dating**_

X

They didn't speak to one another for days.

Then those same days became weeks, which eventually turned into months as a result. Two, to be exact.

Two long, agonizing months since Edwin and Lizzie had spoken to each other. That was practically a lifetime in adolescent years. Before the breakup, the longest they'd gone without talking was about a day -- three, tops -- until they inevitably grew tired of fighting and called a truce of sorts. After that, things would generally fall back into place.

But not this time.

This time, it wasn't just some petty argument that'd spawned from a simple disagreement. It was serious. By this point, almost everyone had caught on: their siblings, friends, neighbors, teachers, classmates… even their parents.

Specifically George.

George first realized that something was horribly wrong when Edwin suddenly grew distant from the rest of the family and became unusually quiet. He began to lock himself up in the attic for hours on end, drowning himself in his studies, and although George admired his newfound dedication to schoolwork, he still couldn't help but worry. It seemed as though the only time he and Nora saw Edwin nowadays was at dinner -- mornings were out of the question since he'd started leaving for school earlier. Even then, those moments in which he actually physically _saw_ his youngest son were becoming more and more rare. It didn't help that the boy had recently begun to excuse himself in the middle of a meal to take his food up to his room and eat there instead.

Lizzie, on the other hand, always seemed moody and distracted. At first, George thought that it was simply her "Monthly Visitor" -- as Nora had so kindly dubbed it -- but after a week, they both came to the conclusion that that couldn't be the case, and that it _had_ to be something else. When she wasn't having mood swings and getting angry over trivial things (like the portrait above the fireplace being crooked), she was the equivalent of a zombie.

That was another thing that bothered George -- that Lizzie's eyes had lost their former luster, and were now dull and lifeless; she was but a shell of who she'd been just months before. It had gotten to the point where neither he nor his wife could get her to even so much as _smile_; Nora had even considered the option of sending her to live with her biological dad in New York, but George (and Derek, rather boldly) had immediately objected to it.

Only then did Lizzie reluctantly "lighten up" and start to hang out with her friends again -- Jamie in particular, which George found more than a little peculiar. He thought it was weird when she began to invite Jamie over for dinner every other night, and thought it strang_er_ when she would drag the scrawny boy to her room afterwards, where they would remain for hours until Jamie had to go home.

It wasn't until he caught the murderous glare that Edwin shot them one evening when Lizzie announced that she and Jamie were officially an "item" (while the latter blushed furiously beside her) that everything finally clicked.

Everything suddenly made sense to him: the shy smiles exchanged from across the table; the sneaking around; the hushed voices, sighs and giggles emitting from behind closed doors (the Games Closet, in other words); the way they were so touchy-feely with one another, and almost _too_ close (as their neighbors had pointed out on multiple occasions)… all of the things that George had previously dismissed as "familial love" came together like a jigsaw puzzle. His brain throbbed as it became overwhelmed with memories, and signs that he -- as both a parent _and_ step-parent -- should've seen, but didn't.

_"I… have this friend."_ Edwin's voice echoed in the back of his mind. _"His name's… uh… Daniel… and there's this… umm… girl he likes -- named Jordan. Yeah, that's it…"_

-

_George watched the dark-haired boy bound up the stairs after their father-son talk. A sense of accomplishment washed over him when he realized that he'd finally had the opportunity to give Edwin some useful advice._

_"What was that about?" His wife's voice alerted him of her presence, and he glanced over just in time to see her emerge from the kitchen with five brown envelopes -- report cards -- in hand._

_He said nothing as she placed them down in front of him, and instead changed the subject._

_"How are they?"_

_"They're fine." Nora replied. "Derek's average is a little higher than last time… Edwin and Casey are straight A's, as usual… Marti's doing really well in Art, and Lizzie's a mix of A's and B's."_

_"I see," said George, spreading the envelopes out in order to decide whose he was going to look at first._

_That's when he noticed something strange about Edwin and Lizzie's. The former was addressed to one "Edwin Daniel Venturi" while the latter's was addressed to "Elizabeth Jordan McDonald"._

_Their middle names immediately became the focus of his attention._

_Daniel and… Jordan?_

_It couldn't be… could it?_

-

_"Where are Edwin and Lizzie?" Nora wondered aloud, sitting down at the dinner table and motioning to the two empty seats on either side._

_"Oh, you know… in the Games Closet, as usual." George replied with a shrug._

_"They've been spending a lot of time in there lately." His wife mused, twirling her spaghetti around her fork. "I wonder what they do in there…"_

_Before George could respond, Derek let out a strange noise that sounded like a mixture of a stifled laugh and a cough. He shot his eldest son a look, and the infamous slacker pursed his lips to keep from smiling. The older man furrowed his brow in confusion, and then glanced over in his wife's direction, as if she held the answers to Derek's behavior._

_Her expression indicated otherwise, so he sighed and went back to eating his dinner._

-

_A faint whistling met George's ears, and he peered up just in time to see Edwin waltz into the kitchen with a content grin plastered across his face. As he continued to stare at his pubescent son from over the top of his newspaper, he couldn't help but wonder why the teen was so chipper that morning._

_Casey and Lizzie were also acting weird. The elder McDonald girl seemed irritated about something, and had been wearing a sour expression since she'd come down for breakfast, while Lizzie had been sighing dreamily and giggling for no particular reason for the past fifteen minutes. She was practically glowing with happiness, and that cheeriness only escalated when Edwin made his grand entrance. _

_As George watched her eyes follow his son as he made his way over to the pantry in search for food, he _swore_ he saw her lick her lips -- but quickly convinced himself that it was simply his imagination._

_He was about to ask Edwin if he'd done his homework the previous night when his gaze settled on what appeared to be tiny purpling bruises decorating the 13-year-old's neck. His brows knitted together._

_"Edwin, what's that on your neck?" He inquired._

_Edwin instantly froze, clasping a hand over his neck and spinning around to face him, looking much like a deer caught in the headlights._

_"Why don't you ask _Lizzie_?"_

_George directed his attention to his eldest step-daughter, alarmed by her sickeningly sweet and almost accusing tone. However, before he could question it, Edwin launched into his own explanation._

-

It was so obvious.

So… unbelievably obvious.

Edwin and Lizzie were together… or used to be, and if his memories served him correctly, both Casey and Derek knew about it also.

But something had gone wrong, which explained why the two were no longer on speaking terms.

_What_, though? That was what George wanted to know.

Which was precisely why he currently found himself making his way up to Edwin's bedroom. He didn't even wait for his son to invite him in before entering, but fortunately, he wasn't met with any protest or resistance.

Upon closing the door behind him, he spotted the teen hunched over his desk, surrounded by open textbooks and scribbling away at an essay of sorts. It wasn't until George cleared his throat that his son stopped what he was doing at last and lifted his head.

"Oh. Hey, Dad." He muttered monotonously. "What do you want?"

George grimaced, missing the _old_ Edwin severely -- the one with the eccentric personality, and not this boring imposter who'd taken his place.

"I was wondering if we could talk about something." He said. "Do you have time? It's important."

Edwin made a face, but didn't object. After x-ing out of all of the open programs on his desktop and closing his textbooks, he rose to his feet and dragged himself over to his bed, where George was already situated, and sat down. Once comfortable enough, George leaned back some and peered around the attic, taking in his surroundings: the Babe Raider poster tacked to the wall; the dirty clothes and videogames scattered about the floor; the action figures posed on the shelves above the computer; and finally, the picture of Lizzie strategically placed on his son's bedside table, which was littered with magazines (_Sports Illustrated_, _Playboy_, and _Sh__ō__nen Jump _to name a few), as well as a box of tissues, and only managed to solidify George's theory that his youngest son and youngest step-daughter did have _something_ going on between them that was the furthest thing from familial or platonic.

Tilting his head, he sighed and glanced down at Edwin knowingly. "There're no mosquitoes, are there?"

Edwin frowned, confusion etched across his face until his memory caught up with him, and that confusion was replaced with horror and then finally, defeat.

"No." He answered softly. "I only told you that because…" He trailed off and averted his gaze.

George placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay. I know about you and Lizzie."

"Did Casey tell you?"

"No. I figured it out on my own. Actually, your report cards were the biggest hint." George confessed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Edwin's shoulders slumped.

"I didn't want you and Nora to separate us." He said, and then sighed sadly. "In any case, it's too late for that now. I ended it two months ago."

"Why?"

Edwin didn't reply immediately. Instead, he took to staring intently at the clasped hands resting on his lap.

"Because," he began finally, hesitantly meeting his father's curious gaze, "I loved her, and she didn't feel the same way."

That statement was enough to catch George completely off guard, but only momentarily before he regained his composure and forced out the next question.

"Why were you together, then?"

"It was her idea. I didn't want to in the beginning, but… Lizzie can be very, uh, _persuasive_ when she wants to be." Edwin told him. "It was originally just supposed to be about experimenting -- you know… a kiss here, a grope there. But the longer I was with her, the stronger my feelings for her got and for some reason, I… I deluded myself into thinking that there was a possibility that she…" His voice became strained as he went on, "… that she l-loved me back. When I told her, though… she freaked out, and that's when… w-when I knew that she didn't feel the same way… s-so I broke up with her." Swallowing hard, Edwin peered up at his father, eyes brimming with tears. "Dad, I'm sorry! I ruined everything! I -" He couldn't even finish his sentence as a choked sob left the back of his throat, and he buried his face in his hands.

George didn't know how to react, or what to do or say. He barely knew how to comfort crying girls, much less boys on the cusp of puberty. On top of that, he could scarcely wrap his mind around everything that Edwin had just revealed to him. Not only did his _thirteen_-year-old son truly believe that he was in love with his step-sister, but he had also been the one to end the relationship in the first place -- the relationship that he and Lizzie had been keeping secret for who knew _how_ long, and that he was only now finding out about in detail. The relationship that he should've _seen_ building between two pubescent _children_ living under the same roof, but didn't, and that was what stunned George the most.

"How did it start?"

A more appropriate question would've been _when_, but George had -- no, _needed_ -- to know _how_, so he could pinpoint where exactly he'd gone wrong in raising his son.

"I… I don't know." Edwin shook his head. "A little after our birthday party… maybe before that… I don't know when, exactly. All I know is that I started having dreams about her… some explicit, some not… but they were always about Lizzie. _Always_, and I thought they would go away if I just avoided her, but that only hurt her feelings… so we talked about it one night, and it turned out that our, umm, _situations_ were similar." He glanced at his father from out of the corner of his eye. "That's when Lizzie proposed the… arrangement."

"I see…" George replied quietly. "So… how long were you together?"

Edwin shrugged. "I dunno… a few months?"

"And did you ever…"

"_What_? No!" The dark-haired teen cried, flushing with embarrassment. "She's not like that! It wasn't… I mean… the farthest we went was like… second base."

George arched an eyebrow.

"That's still pretty far for two middle schoolers." He said sternly.

Edwin tore his gaze away and hung his head.

"I know."

The room fell silent once more. Nearly ten minutes went by before Edwin finally spoke up again.

"Dad… I'm sorry for lying to you… and for going behind your back… and just for… everything." He said, fighting back another round of tears. "I know I messed up. I know it was wrong… and that I shouldn't be feeling the way I do about my sister and -"

"Step-sister." George corrected without thinking.

Edwin looked up, startled. "What?"

Against his better judgment, George went on.

"You're not really related… remember?" He reminded his son.

"Yeah, but…"

"'But' nothing." George interrupted. "Ed, I admit that I'm disappointed in you and Lizzie for _lying_ and for sneaking around, but I don't care _who_ you love just as long as you love them."

Edwin bit his lip. "Derek says it's only infatuation, though."

"Derek isn't you. Only _you_ can determine who you love and don't love, and if you think you're in love with Lizzie… then you are."

The teen clenched his fists.

"It doesn't matter how I feel anymore! She won't even _look_ at me… not after what I did."

George sighed.

"Then maybe _you_ should do the talking."

Edwin furrowed his brow and stared at his father with skeptical eyes.

"I thought Venturis didn't apologize."

George coughed. "Yes, well… sometimes we have no choice but to swallow our pride and do just that." With that said, he stood up and headed for the door. "I'll leave you alone, now. Hopefully, everything will work out in the end for you two."

"Do you think it will, Dad?"

George came to an abrupt halt and glanced over his shoulder.

"That's up to you, Edwin."

Then he walked out.

X

**"… dolphins are the only mammals on this planet, other than humans, that mate for pleasure. Because of this…"**

_Click._

**"… so I said to the guy -"**

_Click._

**"… can't believe you, Billy! How could you cheat on me with my sister's best friend's cousin's teacher's daughter? You -"**

_Click._

**"SHAMWOW! You'll be saying 'wow' every time!"**

"Ugh!" Derek shouted at the TV. "Why isn't anything _good_ on?"

Turning it off, he leapt out of his recliner and made his way over to the front door in need of some fresh air. He was in the middle of putting on his leather jacket when the hairs on the back of his neck suddenly rose, signaling another presence. Craning his neck to look over his shoulder, he honestly wasn't shocked to find Casey -- who he'd been avoiding like the plague since the _kissing_ incident in her room two months prior -- standing there.

What _did_ shock him, however, was the nervous expression she wore. Her arms were crossed (which, according to just about every "investigation" show he watched, was a defensive posture), and she stood a good distance away from him -- an arm's length away, at _least_. Her hair was also disheveled, and her clothes were wrinkled -- but not in the "I-just-had-rough-sex-with-my-partner" kind of way, like most people would probably assume, but rather as if she'd been stressing out.

Come to think of it… she _had_ been acting rather unusual for a few weeks, which would definitely explain why she looked like a wreck, Derek mused.

He hurriedly acknowledged her with a nod before reaching for the doorknob.

"Wait!"

Derek sighed in exasperation and spun around to face her.

"Yes, your Majesty?" He drawled.

"I…" She began, chewing at her bottom lip. "I broke up with Max tonight."

Derek stared blankly.

"And I care… why?"

Casey's face burned a deep shade of scarlet -- but whether from anger or embarrassment, he couldn't tell.

"Well… isn't it… I mean…" She was unbelievably flustered -- almost amusingly so. Derek found himself wishing that he had a camera so he could take a picture of this moment and post it on his blog. "It's what you wanted, isn't it? Why are you being such a prick? You should be thrilled!"

"Because," Derek replied smoothly, zipping up his jacket. "It doesn't matter if you don't feel the same way."

Before she could say anything else, he pulled open the front door and took off down the street, blatantly ignoring her voice in the background as she called out to him and pleaded him for him to come back.

He just ran.

X

**Excuse me while I pass out on my keyboard. It's one in the morning and I just got back from my friend's birthday party, and I'm a bit tipsy. Not drunk, nor do I condone drinking, but I did have a couple of sips so… yeah.**

**I typed most of it out before I left, but I wanted to finish it all before I went to bed. So I did.**

**Once more, I apologize for the long wait… but things keep coming up. Schoolwork especially, and it's been extra difficult this year since it's my last year of high school… especially these last few months. I still haven't quite wrapped my head around the fact that I'll be graduating in three months. It's crazy.**

**Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. It's a bit different from the original draft… initially, Derek was going to be the one to give Edwin the advice, but given what went down in the previous chapter, I decided to make it George instead. Besides, it kind of alludes to the father-son talk they had back in chapter 5, and I needed the 'rents to find out somehow… you know?**

**Damn, I talk a lot when I'm not completely sober. Thank God for spellcheck, otherwise I doubt this would be legible. **

**I'm gonna shut up now, though, and go to bed.**

**Please ****REVIEW**** and tell me what you think!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	17. Taking the Plunge

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. Or Hallmark. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: I am SO sorry that it's taking so long for me to update. I lost my muse for a bit, and even though I've gotten it back, I've been so overwhelmed with prom and projects and graduation preparations (I graduate tomorrow, can you believe it?)… May and June have just been very busy months for me. Hopefully, it hasn't cost me my loyal readers.

Anyway, this chapter will make up for it.

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**Taking the Plunge**_

X

_**"… Hopefully, everything will work out in the end for you two."**_

_**"Do you think it will, Dad?"**_

_**"That's up to you, Edwin."**_

---

It was like the conversation between him and his dad was on repeat or something, because it kept playing over and over again in Edwin's head as he wandered around the park by his house.

What his father had said… deep down, he knew he was right. He knew that he should just suck up his damn Venturi pride, confront Lizzie and beg for her forgiveness. It just seemed like the most logical thing to do, and yet…

_'What if she doesn't accept?'_

That very thought was what had initially stopped him from practically kicking in Lizzie's bedroom door, marching over to her and kissing her passionately between apologies, all the while pleading for her to take him back.

He couldn't take the thought of rejection -- the humiliation. He was the type of guy who thrived certainty. 2 plus 2 would always equal 4 in his mind, because logic had told him so and that's precisely what he depended on; it was the only thing he could ever truly trust. He would analyze and overanalyze situations until his brain screamed in agony, weighing the pros and cons of every dilemma he was thrown into, trying desperately to search for the correct solution -- the one that made the most sense. He needed to. If he didn't, he'd make mistakes -- like when he'd broken up with Lizzie on a whim -- and he just couldn't _afford_ that.

Not again.

So he thought, and thought, and thought -- running various scenario is and outcomes through his mind. All of which, he was disheartened to realize, ended rather terribly.

Exhausted, Edwin collapsed on a nearby bench by the playground, massaging his throbbing temples. He had a headache, both from the sun and from thinking too much. The latter sounded ridiculous to him -- thinking _too much_? What an absurd concept.

He sat there for a couple of minutes in complete silence, staring blankly at the ground, and only withdrew from his reverie when a shadow loomed over him and alerted him of another presence. When he peered up, he was surprised to find Teddy Jones standing there.

He scowled before he could stop himself.

"What do _you_ want?" He spat harshly.

The other boy quickly looked away, his face growing red.

"To apologize." He answered sincerely. "For what happened in the cafeteria that time… and what I said about you and Lizzie… _especially_ Lizzie." He finally gathered enough courage to meet Edwin's penetrating gaze. "It was way out of line, dude. I know that now, and I just wanted to let you know that I really am sorry. If I could take it back -"

"Apology accepted."

Teddy recoiled, startled out of his rant, and blinked confusedly. "W-wha-? Really?"

"Yeah… really." Edwin replied. "Besides… you were right. For the most part." When Teddy arched his brow, the dark-haired boy decided to elaborate. Sighing, he looked out into the distance and spoke up once more. "I don't think of Lizzie as a sister like I should… I don't think I ever really have. The fight between you and me in the cafeteria wasn't the result of any 'brotherly affection' I may have felt toward her, or because I was obligated to defend my step-sister's honor, or any of that. No… I fought you because I felt like you were moving in my turf and I wouldn't stand for it. I needed to protect my girlfriend's dignity, after all. Sheer, impulsive jealousy -- that's all."

"Girlfriend?" Teddy echoed. "So… the rumors are true, then? You guys are actually together?"

"We were."

"Were?"

Edwin nodded solemnly. "I broke it off a couple months ago."

Teddy gaped at him incredulously.

"_Why_?"

"Because I'm a coward, Ted." Edwin laughed coldly, shaking his head. "I told her how I really felt about her, and when she said she didn't feel the same way, I did what I do best: I ran from the problem. _That's_ why."

"Dude…" The disappointment was evident in Teddy's tone. "_Dude_, you -- how could you _be_ so _stupid_?" He threw up his hands in frustration, and Edwin could tell that he was fighting the urge to strangle him. "How many times do I have to tell you? You gotta face your problems head on! You can't just pussy out when things aren't going your way! What would Derek say?"

"I don't give a rat's ass what my brother says! I'm sick and tired of being compared to him! We're not the same people and we never will be!" Edwin snarled.

"That's no excuse to avoid your problems like the fucking plague."

"Don't you think I _know_ that?"

"Obviously, not well enough, otherwise we wouldn't be sitting here right now. You'd be happily playing tonsil hockey with Lizzie -- the girl you're _meant_ to be with." Sighing exasperatingly, Teddy combed his fingers through his hair before placing his hands on Edwin's shoulders. "Now, here's _my_ advice, Eddykins: grow a pair and get Liz back. It's that simple."

"I've tried!" The Venturi cried. "But whenever we cross paths, I panic! I get all tongue-tied and I can't breathe or think or -"

A resounding _**CRACK**_ echoed throughout the park before it occurred to Edwin that Teddy had just _slapped_ him. He gawked, watching the other boy grimace and cradle his stinging hand.

"Your welcome."

"Thanks. I needed that."

"Yeah… yeah, you did."

Both boys laughed. Then Teddy's face turned serious once more.

"Now, Ed… listen to me, and listen to me good. The sands in the hourglass are disappearing, and time is running out for you. Come next Friday, at the Spring Fling, Jamie McLean is gonna give Lizzie a necklace that will solidify their kinda-sorta-maybe relationship. _Then_, he'll turn on the charm, whisk her off her feet and pretty much eliminate any chance of you two getting back together. Before you know it, she'll be happily married to that fag with ten kids and an amazing career, and _you_, my favorite Wop, will be miserable and alone for the rest of your life. Do you really want that?"

"N-no, but -"

"But _nothing_!" Teddy hollered. "You are going to go home right now and get Lizzie back! Even if you have to beg on your hands and knees to do it!"

"Ted -"

"No! Go, Edwin! Now! Before _Jamie_ gets to her first! GO!"

Before Edwin knew what was happening, Teddy was pulling him to his feet and shoving him in the direction of his house while chanting "Go! Go! Go!" in a voice that was oddly reminiscent of a military sergeant.

So Edwin obeyed.

But just as he was about to head back to his house, Teddy grabbed his wrist and held him back. He glanced over his shoulder, momentarily confused, but his friend simply grinned.

"Carpe Diem, Edwin."

Edwin grinned back, turned around and marched forward.

X

"So… I'm gonna go now. See you at school?"

Looking up from her Math homework, Lizzie gave a curt nod and watched as Jamie gathered his belongings and left. When she was sure he was gone, a sad sigh fell from her lips and she glanced out her bedroom window, where the sun was starting to set. She stared wide-eyed, amazed by its beauty and transfixed by the array of colors that painted the evening sky; the pinks and oranges and blues and purples that all blended together to create something so sublime that it literally took her breath away.

That moment ended when a gentle knock jarred her from her awe-induced stupor.

"What is it?" She said, assuming it to be Jamie and turning. "Did you forget your -" She froze when her eyes landed on none other than Edwin Venturi, the very _last_ person she wanted to see. "- oh. Hi…"

"Hey…"

She felt a bit ridiculous. They hadn't spoken a word to each other in months and when they finally end up alone in the same room, the only thing she could muster up was "hi"? She wanted to smack herself. The only thing that prevented her from doing so was the fact that Edwin didn't seem any better off than she. He looked flushed and out of breath, his skin gleaming with sweat and his hair matted to his forehead -- had he been running?

She looked away in a hurry, shifting her body on the edge of the bed so that she had her back to him. She could still see him in her vanity mirror, though, which kind of defeated the purpose.

A blush rose to her cheeks when she saw him inch closer. When the mattress sunk a few seconds later, she inhaled sharply.

"What are you doing?" She asked through gritted teeth, trying desperately to maintain a calm exterior.

"Getting comfortable." He replied simply.

She tried to relax, but found it near impossible with him so damn close to her, and remained very tense instead. Suddenly, one of his arms snaked around her waist, and she felt her entire body stiffen. She seethed when she noticed him smiling -- whether it was from the physical contact or her obvious displeasure as a _result_ of that contact, she couldn't be sure. All she _did_ know was that it made her want to slap him into the next week.

"So…" he murmured, his lips brushing against her bare shoulder, and his fingers grazing her stomach, "will I be seeing _you_ at the dance on Friday?"

Eyes widening, the violent thoughts immediately vanished from Lizzie's mind. Her heart skipped a beat at the all too familiar invite, and she lifted her gaze to meet Edwin's own dark, smoldering one through the reflection in the mirror.

"Asking your step-sister to the dance?" She couldn't stop the weak smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. "You can't be _that_ desperate, can you?"

Edwin's eyes gleamed.

"Ah, but I'm not asking my step-sister." He assured her, pulling her tighter against him and leaning forward so that his lips were mere inches away from her ear. "I'm asking my _girlfriend_." He kissed her cheek softly. "If she's still my girlfriend, that is."

Lizzie's smile widened, and she quickly shifted around once again so that she was facing the dark-haired boy,

"She is." She said at last, her voice hoarse from trying to hold back tears. "And… I will."

A large grin split across Edwin's features. Then he took her face in both his hands and brought his lips to hers, kissing her deeply. He poured all of the emotions he'd been feeling over the last two months -- all of the anguish, the regret, the longing, the fury, the _everything_ -- into that one single kiss, and he held her so close, so securely, as if terrified that if he loosened his grip even a little, she'd float away.

Lizzie returned the kiss with just as much passion and vigor, entangling her fingers in his thick curls and opening her mouth to him eagerly when his tongue begged for entry.

When they finally parted, Edwin drank in the air greedily.

"_God_, I've missed you." He confessed, burying his face in the crook of her neck and inhaling her scent. "… so fucking much."

Lizzie closed her eyes and sighed.

"I've missed you too…"

Edwin lifted his head.

"You sound… worried."

"I am. There's… something you need to know… Jamie and me… we -"

"Oh. Right." Edwin muttered dully, looking away. "You guys are an 'item' now."

"No…" Lizzie shook her head. "Not really. I only said that to make you jealous. But… before you decide to take me back… you should know that I haven't exactly been loyal to you. Me and Jamie weren't really together, but… I let him get to second base once." When his gaze remained downcast, she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. "I'm sorry, Edwin! Please don't hate me! I promise I'll make it up to you… right now! Please don't hate me…" As she was ranting, her hands traveled south and began fumbling with his belt buckle.

It wasn't until she was in the middle of unzipping his jeans that Edwin realized what she was planning to do, and pulled away so forcefully that he tumbled back and fell off the edge of her bed with a loud _thud_.

"Edwin…? What's wrong?" Lizzie asked when he finally emerged, adjusting his pants. "I thought guys liked -"

"Nothing!" He cried, his voice going up an octave. "I just… Liz… I don't want you to feel obligated to do _anything_. I just want us to be together -- that's all."

"But I want us to be together too! That's why I -"

Edwin interrupted.

"Then hear me out when I say… that I think we should take it slow." He said. When Lizzie's brows knitted together in confusion, he sighed and scratched the back of his neck before settling back down on the bed and grasping her hands. Looking into her eyes, he continued. "Lizzie, I love you. I always will… but getting caught up in our hormones is what screwed us over in the first place. Which is why I propose that we start from the beginning… and then take things from there. _Slowly_. Because… I want us to work out so badly. I can't live without you by my side, Liz. I -"

Lizzie silenced him with another kiss. When she broke it, she was smirking lazily at him.

"Sorry… you were starting to sound like a Hallmark card. I couldn't take you seriously." She laughed. "But…" She added sensibly, "I agree with you. Let's take things slowly… and cross each bridge when we get there."

Edwin chuckled.

"So… does this mean we're together again?"

Lizzie rolled her eyes and smacked him upside the head.

"_Obviously_."

X

**Commentator voice: But wait! It doesn't end there! What's going to happen with Derek and Casey? Stay tuned to find out in the next chapter of "Code Names for Puberty".**

**Alright, so… again, I apologize for taking so damn long to update. Please forgive me.**

**Second of all… I apologize for the swearing, offensive slurs and just overall vulgarity used in this chapter. But Teddy strikes me as that type of character, and so I had to put it in.**

**Lastly… did anyone catch the **_Date with Derek_** reference?**

**Please ****REVIEW****!**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


	18. The Ring

Disclaimer: Don't own _Life With Derek_. Or Hallmark. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Look! I'm updating within two weeks!

Enjoy!

X

**Code Names for Puberty****  
**_**The Ring**_

X

Edwin and Lizzie kept their rekindled relationship on the "down low" for a while. Basically, the only people who knew were Teddy (whom Edwin swore to secrecy) and Marti (who caught them kissing in the backyard two days after they got back together, and promised on Daphne's life that she wouldn't tell a soul as long as she could swipe candy from Edwin's secret Halloween stash once a week) -- until the night of the Spring Fling. Sporting semi-formal wear, they descended down the stairs with their hands clasped tightly, and made their way into the living room where their parents sat on the couch, watching a romantic comedy and cuddling.

Upon seeing their middle children standing there expectantly with their fingers intertwined and all dolled up -- Edwin in his red button-down shirt, black dress pants and matching clip-on tie, and Lizzie in her navy blue sundress and thin beige sweater -- Nora sat up straight and paused the TV before admiring them.

"Oh, look at you!" She exclaimed, beaming brightly. "Lizzie, you're beautiful! And Edwin… so handsome!"

George sat in a sort of stunned silence, brows knitted together in confusion. Then he cleared his throat and peered over at his son. "Uh, you two have fun at the dance. Tell Derek when you want to come home -- he's chaperoning at your school for community hours."

Edwin and Lizzie nodded, and after bidding their parents farewell, they took their leave. George waited until he heard the front door shut before turning to face his wife, who was humming to herself.

"You knew this entire time, didn't you?"

"Mmhmm."

"And you didn't bother to tell me because…?"

Nora simply shrugged. "I didn't feel like it."

The blond man sighed.

"You're a cruel woman, Nora. But… I love you anyway."

With that, he pulled her close and they went back to watching their movie.

x

Casey McDonald lay in bed glaring heatedly at the ceiling above her, as if hoping that it would somehow spontaneously combust if she glared long enough.

With the exception of school and meals, she hadn't left her room in days, and it was all _Derek's_ fault. It was _always_ Derek's fault!

Thanks to his stupid guilt trip and his stupid confession and his stupid kiss and his stupid nonchalant attitude to her splitting with Max, she couldn't stop thinking about him and it was driving her crazy!

Why did he always have to _do_ that? Why did he always have to go and make her miserable? It didn't make sense. Surely if he had feelings for her, as he claimed to, he should've been doing the opposite. He should've been worshipping the very ground she walked on and writing her love poems and bending over backwards at her every whim. Not insulting her and playing pranks on her and making her cry at every given opportunity!

But _no_… Derek Venturi had to go and be the unconventional, "I'm-too-cool-for-emotions", stereotypical bad boy who toyed with the minds and hearts of girls everywhere.

His lips were surprisingly soft, though, she mused -- then shook her head angrily, reminding herself again and again why she despised every _single_ fiber of his being.

He was a liar, a cheat, a bully, an insensitive jerk, a chauvinistic pig and a cad. He was lazy, he was rude to her, he flirted with just about every girl he met, he never let her have the remote, he never listened to her, he undermined her authority, he was a horrible role model for their younger siblings, he got away with murder, he scared off most of her potential boyfriends, _and_ he was always parading around his girlfriends in front of her. On top of all that, she could never make heads or tails of him! Every time she went and pegged him as a heartless bastard, he suddenly turned around and became nice and sweet and caring -- particularly whenever Marti was in his presence.

But it wasn't just Marti. Every now and then, he was great with Edwin and Lizzie too, and on an even rarer occasion, _her_. Like when he stopped everyone at their school from calling her "Klutzilla" (even though _he_ started it), or when he bought her a cell phone, or when he showed her just what kind of guy _Scott_ (the scumbag) was or… or when he called her dad back.

Then there was that kiss. That amazing _kiss_ that was nothing short of passionate, and took her breath away, igniting sensations in her that she'd never felt before -- not with Sam, or Scott, or Max… or anyone. Until him.

Suddenly, it hit her.

She loved Derek back -- and not just in the familial or platonic way, but in the "I-want-to-spend-my-life-with-you" way.

"I need to tell him!" She gasped, practically leaping out of bed and grabbing her jacket before making a mad dash down the stairs and out the door -- not caring about her tousled hair or smeared mascara, or the fact that she was in nothing but her pajamas.

All she cared about was getting to Edwin and Lizzie's school in time.

x

When they arrived at SJST Middle School, the first thing that Lizzie and Edwin noticed was that their gymnasium, although certainly not as extravagant as a prom, was in fact, decorated. Green and gold streamers hung from the ceiling, and balloons with the same color scheme were taped to various surfaces. There was even a DJ and strobe lights, and by the time they stepped inside, they realized that every one of their peers was there, ready to gawk and judge.

Edwin spotted his brother standing by the punch table not long after, and pulled Lizzie over before anyone recognized them. (It was bound to take a while. After all, no one had ever witnessed Edwin actually clean up nicely before, or seen Lizzie in a _dress_ of all things with her hair curled and wearing makeup.) Derek was also dressed for the event, and currently ignoring (quite blatantly, at that) the group of preteen girls fawning over him and trying to flirt with him. They eventually got the point and left, though, just as Edwin and Lizzie joined him.

"Hiya, Bro!" The younger of the two brothers greeted cheerfully, patting the elder on the back. "Didja miss it here or what?"

"Hn…"

Lizzie smirked. "Not very lively, this one. Maybe we should poke him with a stick or something."

"_HNN_."

"I'll take that as a no." She said, smiling cheekily.

Edwin laughed before turning to face her just as a slow song began to play in the background. "I don't think he wants us around. In the meantime… dance with me, Liz?"

The McDonald girl paused to contemplate for a moment -- just to torment her anxious boyfriend -- but then nodded and took his hand.

"Lead the way."

He did just that.

As soon as they reached the middle of the dance floor, Lizzie started to feel nervous. She could hear their classmates whispering frantically to one another when Edwin rested his hands on her hips and she placed hers on his shoulders. When they began to sway to the beat, she blushed and chewed at her bottom lip.

"Edwin… everyone's staring."

"Let them." Edwin replied. "They can think whatever they want, but just for kicks…" his eyes twinkled mischievously, "let's give them something to _really_ talk about."

Before Lizzie could protest, his mouth was on hers.

To her surprise, however, catcalls and whistles and claps immediately erupted from the crowd, and it was precisely that boost of confidence that made her tighten her grip on her step-brother's shoulders and kiss him back.

Unfortunately, they were eventually broken up by an angry teacher.

"No public displays of affection on school grounds!" She snapped at them, before storming off to stop another couple from grinding.

"KISS HER AGAIN!" Teddy's voice called out once the teacher was no longer in earshot.

When they glanced over, they saw him surrounded by the rest of their friends, all of whom looked just as eager to watch another kiss take place.

Glancing at each other, they shrugged and resumed where they'd left off.

x

As he watched his younger brother and step-sister play a game of tonsil hockey in the middle of the dance floor, Derek couldn't help but wonder if he an Edwin were actually related. It was a proven fact that Venturi men weren't too keen when it came to PDA… and yet, there Edwin was, sticking his tongue down Lizzie's throat like it was going out of style. Well, it would certainly explain a few things, like his uncoolness and his lack of athletic skills and -- dear _God_, didn't they have to breathe at some point? They were _so_ going to be the couple that walked down the halls with their hands on each other's rears when they got into high school…

Yuck.

Derek cringed at the mental image.

"So… they're back together, huh?"

He stiffened, the styrofoam cup in his hand threatening to break, and then reluctantly turned around. Casey stood there, cheeks red and out of breath. His narrowed eyes raked over her disheveled appearance a few times before he finally glanced up at her face again.

"What do _you_ want?" He spat.

Casey stared intently at him. "To talk."

Derek scoffed.

"There's nothing _to_ talk about, Case."

"Don't give me that crap! You know as well as I do that there most certainly is!" She snapped.

"Can't it wait? I'm kinda busy here… babysitting a bunch of tweens. Go home."

He waved her off, but Casey refused to budge and stood her ground, fists clenched and nostrils flaring, trembling with suppressed anger.

"It's important." She stated through gritted teeth, trying to maintain her composure.

Derek stared lazily at her, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth as if to ponder over her words. (Or perhaps he was just stalling in an effort to annoy her.) Then he sighed in exasperation. "_Fine_. You've got five minutes."

"That's all I'll need." Casey replied confidently, leading him out of the gymnasium and out into the parking lot.

She came to an abrupt halt when they reached the Prince, and spun around to face him. Derek, in the meantime, slipped his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels out of sheer boredom as he waited impatiently for her to say… whatever it was she so _desperately_ needed to say. It took a while (far too long in _his_ opinion), but eventually she opened her mouth to speak.

"Over the last couple of weeks, I've done a lot of thinking." She began. "And I've come to the conclusion… that I love you."

A crease formed on Derek's forehead, and his eyes suddenly glazed over and became very dark. It was obvious that he didn't believe her, and to be quite frank, Casey didn't blame him. All she ever did was whine and complain about him and how utterly despicable he was. Then there was the fact that for the majority of first semester, she'd been swooning over Max Miller, her so-called "Prince Charming" and _Derek's_ athletic rival.

"I'm outta here." A cold mutter jarred Casey from her stupor, and she watched as her step-brother made a move to leave, but before he could get anywhere, she grabbed his arm.

"Don't you _dare_ run away, you… you coward!" She seethed, tightening her vice-like grip.

Derek tensed up, both from the insult and the talons that she called nails.

"_What_ did you call me?"

A small smirk, identical to his own although not nearly as effective, tugged at her lips.

"You heard me… _Der_." She sneered.

He scowled bitterly, attempting to wretch his arm free but with no avail. "Don't kid yourself, Case. You don't love me… you love _Max_."

"Excuse me, but I'm pretty sure that _I_ would know who I love and don't love, and I'm telling you right now that I'm in love with _you_."

"Oh, really?" Derek retorted. "'Cause last I checked, you were sucking face with that brainless tool, Miller."

"For your information, _Venturi_, I haven't 'sucked faces' -- as you so eloquently put it -- with Max in almost a month because, in case you forgot, I broke up with him and _why_? Because I'm in love with _you_, you idiot!"

Derek's eyes flashed.

"_Prove it_." He challenged.

"Gladly."

With that said, Casey grabbed each side of his face and kissed him hard.

x

"Ed_win_!" Lizzie squealed as her step-brother pulled her away from her hockey teammates (all of whom, with the exception of a very bitter Tanya, were tearfully apologetic for shunning, and wanted nothing more than to have her back on the team -- as well as know all of the details of her and Edwin's "forbidden affair") and toward the back doors. "What are you doing? Where are we going? Ed -"

"You'll see…" The dark-haired boy assured, squeezing her hand.

Lizzie pressed her lips together impatiently, but said no more. It didn't take long before she caught on, when Edwin took a sharp turn and began leading her over to the small white gazebo that the school staff had rented and set up for the evening. They slowed down when they finally reached their destination, and Edwin released her hand. She eyed him curiously, watching him search through his pockets for something, but grew bored and averted her attention elsewhere, focusing instead on their surroundings.

The gazebo, as far as she knew, had been quite cheap, but with careful decorating it didn't look it. There was even a small bench inside that wrapped around each corner, creating a semi-octagon shape. She admired it for a little while -- that is, until Edwin cleared his throat.

Glancing back, Lizzie let out a small gasp when she found him kneeling in front of her holding a silver ring between his fingers. The unexpected sight rendered her completely speechless, and she hurriedly looked away, blushing furiously.

"Edwin… I thought you wanted to take it slow." She murmured. "Besides, don't you think it's a little early to be proposing? I mean, we're not even in high school yet and -"

"Whoa, _what_?" Edwin cried, losing his balance and falling back. "I'm not proposing!"

"That's a relief." Lizzie sighed. "'Cause I would've had to say 'no'." Combing her fingers through her hair, she tilted her head back and smirked amusedly. "But… if you weren't proposing… what _were_ you doing?"

Edwin groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I knew you'd take it the wrong way. I should've never listened to Teddy…" After muttering a few more obscenities about said boy, he rose to his feet and straightened himself out before becoming serious once more. "If you must know, it's a promise ring. Unfortunately, I could only afford the cheap plastic kind, but I give you my _word_ that I'll get you the real deal one day." He took her hand with his shaky one, holding her gaze and licking his lips uncertainly. "So… will you accept it?"

Lizzie could feel her cheeks tingling an tore her eyes away from his again. "I… I guess."

"You _guess_?" Edwin repeated monotonously, and then pressed. "C'mon, Liz, you're killing me here. Say it like you mean it."

Lizzie promptly huffed at that.

"_Fine_." She forced out. "Edwin… I accept your promise ring. Happy now?"

"Very." Edwin replied, grinning from ear-to-ear. "Now… tell me you love me."

"Don't push your luck, Venturi." Lizzie growled, raising her fist threateningly.

He backed off immediately. "Okay, okay! Just don't hit me!"

His step-sister shot him a smug smile before plucking the ring from him and sliding it onto her own finger.

A perfect fit.

"I feel bad." She admitted, her arm dropping to her side. "I didn't get you anything."

"It's fine. I have you -- that makes me the luckiest and happiest guy alive." Edwin replied.

"You're sounding like a Hallmark card again…" Lizzie warned him, and then took a step back, planting her hands on her hips. "I'm tired."

"Same. Let's peace. My leg's are killing me…" Edwin muttered.

"I _told_ you not to do the splits. You brought this pain on yourself."

He glared playfully at her before chuckling to himself and making his back inside the school, Lizzie following close behind.

x

They couldn't find Derek anywhere, and after fifteen minutes of pointless searching, they gave up and found themselves sitting on the curb, waiting for George (who hadn't been too happy about being woken up) to come and get them.

"Did he leave without us?" Lizzie fumed beside him. "That jerk! I mean, Derek's done some real jerky things to us before, but _this_ -- _THIS_ just tops it for me! Did he really expect me to walk home in these damn heels? _Heels_, Ed! The _nerve_ of that guy! _Honestly_, I should just -"

"Lizzie, simmer..." Edwin cut her off, placing his hands on her shoulders and rubbing them soothingly in a feeble attempt to calm her down. "He's probably just making out with some girl he met. I bet it's that blonde he works with at Smelly Nelly's. I think I saw her chaperoning too."

Lizzie scoffed.

"You'd think that his _family_ would be just a little more important than some girl…" She muttered, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, but it's _Derek_. What did you expect?"

They concentrated on the road ahead. Every once in a while, a vehicle crammed with intoxicated teenagers would fly by and they'd shout ridiculous things that made no sense, causing both tweens to roll their eyes at the spectacle and pray that they never end up like _that_.

"I love you." Lizzie broke the silence that'd fallen on them.

She kissed him before he could respond, parting only when a familiar car pulled up.

Edwin smiled at Lizzie's retreating form, climbing into the back seat with her and buckling up. The drive back home was a quiet one, and when they finally reached the Venturi-McDonald residence, they had just enough energy to make it to the living room before both collapsed on the couch and fell asleep together, dreaming peacefully for the first time in months.

x

Derek sighed contentedly as his naked (save for his trademark leather jacket) step-sister snuggled next to him, still basking in post-orgasmic bliss.

"That was quite possibly the best sex I've ever had." He confessed without hesitation.

"Mmm… yeah." Casey agreed, tracing his navel with her index finger.

A pause.

"Wanna do it again?"

"Absolutely."

X

FIN

X

**It's done! It's finally done! After a year and four months, I have finally completed **Code Names for Puberty**.**

**I would like to thank everyone who's been patient and stuck by this, even when it seemed to take forever for me to update. I would like to especially thank **When0Derek0Met0Casey **(of YouTube), because if it wasn't for her amazing Lizwin trailer, I would've never been inspired to write this fic.**

**Also… I'd just like to say that I'm a bit biased. Green and gold are (correction: were) my school colors.**

**Lastly, I hope everyone enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Perhaps a sequel is in order…**

**Yes? No?**

**Anyway, I best be getting back to studying for my last exam.**

**Please ****REVIEW**** and tell me what you think!**

**Peace and love,**

_**-Lady Azura-**_


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